# Wired Word 06/21/2026 — Research Reveals That Men Are Losing Friends **Summary.** This Father's Day issue of The Wired Word pairs a current-events story — research showing men have markedly fewer close friends than a generation ago — with a Bible study on friendship (David & Jonathan, Proverbs 27, John 15, Acts 4). It opens with Greg Lukianoff's "Pick Your Ten" practice: name the small set of people whose judgment you trust to tell you hard truths, and measure yourself against them when the crowd is loud. (Source: [[3. Resources/Readwise/Articles/The Wired Word for 06212026|The Wired Word for 06212026]]) - **Source type:** Weekly adult Bible-study curriculum (current-events + Scripture) - **Publisher:** The Wired Word (Communication Resources) - **Tradition represented:** mainline Protestant small-group curriculum ## Key claims 1. **The decline in male friendship.** Per a Survey Center on American Life report, only **27% of men in 2021** said they had at least six close friends, down from **55% in 1990**. Cited causes: declining involvement in civic and religious organizations; workplace changes (longer commutes, remote work); pandemic isolation; and models of masculinity that discourage boys from seeking comfort from other boys. 2. **The "Pick Your Ten" frame.** Greg Lukianoff (FIRE) shares a mentor's advice: choose ~10 people who know and love you enough to tell you the truth — judgment you trust more than your mood on a bad day, "without cruelty or relish" — and consult that group when the internet is "losing its mind." 3. **The barriers.** Men report *wanting* to connect but lacking time (young kids, demanding jobs) and feeling a "stigma around asking another man to hang out." 4. **The faith frame.** Friendship — especially deep, truth-telling friendship — is a buffer against stress and a flourishing practice the church is well-positioned to support. The actionable cores: "pick your ten" and "find a shared activity" (side-by-side, activity-based bonding). ## Connections to existing wiki - Connects to [[Koinonia]] — the friendship/Acts 4 frame is the same fellowship-as-shared-life theme developed in the St. John's UCC partnership material. - Same weekly curriculum as [[2026-04-23-wired-word-finishing-well-church-closures|2026-04-23 Wired Word Finishing Well Church Closures]]; both are mainline small-group resources pairing a news story with Scripture. Useful as a recurring source for church-life and spiritual-formation threads. ## Source caution The data is summarized loosely (one survey statistic, secondary reporting); the "models of masculinity" causal claim is asserted, not demonstrated. The piece briefly references one figure's depression/suicidality as context — recorded here without amplification. ## Related - [[Koinonia]] · [[2026-04-23-wired-word-finishing-well-church-closures|2026-04-23 Wired Word Finishing Well Church Closures]]