# Field Notes for the Wilderness (Sarah Bessey) **Summary.** Sarah Bessey's *Field Notes for the Wilderness* is a guide for people navigating faith deconstruction and reconstruction. Bessey frames the wilderness not as abandonment by God but as a site of grace — a place where evolving faith survives. The book addresses belonging, community loss after leaving high-control churches, spiritual bypassing, and the move from "against" to "toward." It is a pastoral voice from within the progressive-evangelical overlap, aligned with the Evolving Faith conference community. **Tradition:** Progressive / post-evangelical **Author:** Sarah Bessey — Canadian author, speaker, co-founder of Evolving Faith conference **Last highlighted in Readwise:** 2024-04-01 **Readwise source:** `3. Resources/Readwise/Books/Field Notes for the Wilderness.md` --- ## Key Claims and Quotes ### 1. Wilderness as grace, not exile > "The wilderness wasn't something for me to fear: God was already here, making a way." (Location 177) Bessey reframes the deconstruction "wilderness" as a space where God is already present — not a punishment or a falling away, but a mode of encounter. This runs counter to high-control religious framings where deconstruction = spiritual danger or demonic influence. > "It turned out that what I thought was the wilderness was actually God's grace and goodness. What I thought was exile became home, and the misfits became my friends." (Location 394) ### 2. Evolving faith as faithfulness > "An evolving faith is simply faith that has adapted in order to survive." (Location 209) Bessey quotes this approvingly. Connects to the historical-critical tradition's recognition that all theological formulation is contextual — faith has always evolved. > "If we don't change and evolve over our lifetime, then I have to wonder if we're paying attention to the invitation of the Holy Spirit that is your life." (Location 221) **Contrast:** NAR and fundamentalist frameworks treat doctrinal change as backsliding or apostasy. Bessey treats it as Spirit-responsiveness. ### 3. Community and belonging after church hurt > "It turned out that what we thought was love was actually mutually agreed upon like-mindedness." (Location 256) A sharp diagnostic of high-control church community: unity enforced by conformity, not genuine love. > "You're not broken. You're not bad. You're not in need of a stronger hand and tighter boundaries. You're not wrong, nor are you doing something wrong." (Location 274) Direct pastoral counter-message to DARVO dynamics in high-control religious contexts. The language of "stronger hand and tighter boundaries" mirrors NAR/discipleship movement rhetoric about spiritual oversight. > "What would it look like if I stopped trying to fit? What would it look like if I embraced being fitless?" (Dr. Chanequa Walker-Barnes, quoted at Location 2036) Bessey amplifies Walker-Barnes's concept of "fitlessness" — belonging that does not require self-erasure. DEIB intersection: Walker-Barnes is a Black theologian; her voice specifically addresses what it means to not fit into predominantly white church spaces. ### 4. Spiritual bypassing > "Stop pretending that your church didn't break your heart. Stop saying it's fine that you were betrayed. Stop excusing bad behavior and cruelty and carelessness. Stop joking about your pain… What you think is the right and faithful response could actually be the thing tearing you apart from the inside." (Location 1332) Bessey names spiritual bypassing — using religious language to avoid emotional reality — as harmful. This is pastorally significant: survivors of high-control churches often deploy "grace" and "forgiveness" language in ways that prevent honest harm-naming. > [!note] Connection to DARVO > Spiritual bypassing is a parallel dynamic to DARVO: the victim is trained to minimize harm and redirect attention to the system's "good intentions." Bessey gives survivors permission to name harm without being told they are unforgiving or spiritually immature. ### 5. The "Against" to "Toward" movement > "We often find our way to the wilderness because of the dawning realization of our 'not this,' and it becomes our Against… I want that for all of us in the wilderness — to keep in mind that the journey we're on is still toward." (Locations 2418, 2472) The deconstruction journey typically begins as negation — "not this church, not this theology, not these power structures." Bessey argues that healthy reconstruction moves from Against toward a positive destination, not just permanent critique. ### 6. Tikkun olam and the neighbor > "There is a Jewish concept called 'tikkun olam' that has caught my imagination… It translates as 'healing of the world,' and it is considered the work of all of us. We're all called to repair the world." (Location 2577) Bessey draws on Jewish theology (tikkun olam) to ground progressive Christian social engagement. Connects to UCC "extravagant welcome" and advocacy posture. > [!note] Hermeneutical note > Bessey's appropriation of tikkun olam is from a Christian perspective; the concept has specific Jewish legal and mystical dimensions that don't transfer wholesale. The use is spiritually generative but theologically imprecise. ### 7. Belonging as risk > "If we think of belonging only as membership in a club, organization, or church, we miss the point. Belonging is the risk to move beyond the world we know, to venture out on pilgrimage, to accept exile." (Location 2008, quoting O'Donohue) Belonging is not conformity or membership — it is the risk of genuine encounter. This reframes what "church" means for those who have lost institutional belonging. --- ## Connections to Wiki | Thread | Connection | |--------|------------| | [[Faith and Doubt]] | Wilderness-as-grace directly addresses the doubt-and-faith dialectic | | [[Deconstruction]] | Core text for the deconstruction-reconstruction journey | | [[Progressive Christianity]] | Bessey represents the progressive-evangelical overlap; Evolving Faith community | | [[DARVO]] | Spiritual bypassing as mechanism parallel to DARVO; "stronger hand" rhetoric | | [[St. John's UCC Chambersburg]] | UCC welcome and Bessey's communal theology overlap | --- > [!question] > Bessey's book assumes deconstruction is primarily a personal/spiritual journey. Does this individualize what is often also a communal/structural crisis? How does her frame handle those deconstructing not just theology but ecclesial power structures (NAR, high-control groups)? --- ## Ingest Notes - **Highlights volume:** Moderate — 18 highlights captured in Readwise; all theologically substantive - **Priority:** Medium-high; useful source page for Deconstruction concept page when that is drafted - **Gaps:** Bessey does not engage NAR directly; more relevant to personal reconstruction than structural critique - **Stub opened:** [[Deconstruction]] concept page — this source supports it