I Refuse to Deconstruct - CourtneyR.dev's 2nd Brain

I Refuse to Deconstruct ![rw-book-cover](https://img.youtube.com/vi/phUozLoL2DI/maxresdefault.jpg) 🔗 **Source:** [I Refuse to Deconstruct](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phUozLoL2DI) > [!note]+ Document Notes > tags: #deconstruction #bethel #charismatic #faith #church-reform > author: Donald Shrode > source: YouTube > reference: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phUozLoL2DI > date created: 2024-12-19 16:30 > > # 🏷️ Title: I Refuse to Deconstruct (After the Bethel Fallout) >  ## 🧰 Action Inbox - [H1] Create resource bank for hurting believers — build community support network #faith - [H2] Audit personal beliefs regularly — maintain healthy faith practices #deconstruction - [H3] Practice ministry of reconciliation — restore wounded believers with love #pastoral-care ## 🧭 Table of Contents - [[#📝 Summary]] - [[#📖 Main Content]] - [[#🗒️ Notes]] - [[#📚 References]] - [[#🗣️ Paraphrase]] - [[#📰 Newsletter]] - [[#✅ Action Items]] - [[#🧪 Hypotheses]] - [[#📊 Methodology]] - [[#❓ Questions]] - [[#🔮 Future Research]] - [[#💡 Implications]] - [[#🧠 Learning Styles Assessment]] - [[#📊 Accessibility Assessment]] - [[#🌍 DEIB Assessment]] - [[#✅ Logical Validity]] - [[#🛡️ DARVO Analysis]] - [[#🎯 Conclusion]] ### 🔗 References - [Donald Shrode YouTube Channel](https://www.youtube.com/@donaldshrode) - [Bethel Church Redding](https://bethel.com) ## 📝 Summary - Pastor Donald Shrode addresses the wave of deconstruction following Bethel Church controversies - Distinguishes between healthy auditing of beliefs versus abandoning faith entirely - Advocates for reformation within charismatic movement rather than wholesale rejection - Calls for unity and restoration of wounded believers across denominational lines - Emphasizes personal relationship with Jesus as anchor, not church movements or leaders ## 📖 Main Content Donald Shrode, a pastor in the charismatic movement and former Bethel student, responds to widespread deconstruction following recent Bethel Church controversies. He acknowledges the legitimate pain caused by stories of abuse and fraud while making a case for reformation rather than abandonment of charismatic faith. Shrode argues that deconstruction exists on a spectrum - from healthy auditing of specific beliefs to complete abandonment of Christianity. He advocates for regular faith audits while maintaining Jesus as the foundation. His critique focuses on systems and interpretations rather than core spiritual experiences. The video addresses harsh online criticism from both cessationists attacking charismatics and those celebrating the movement's struggles. Shrode calls for a ministry of reconciliation, emphasizing that wounded believers deserve restoration, not mockery. ## 🗒️ Notes #### ⏱️ [00:00](https://youtu.be/phUozLoL2DI?t=0) — [H1] Bethel fallout causing widespread deconstruction - Key idea: Many believers deconstructing faith due to Bethel controversies and charismatic church issues - Evidence: "Stories of abuse, stories of fraud" combined with attacks from non-charismatics #### ⏱️ [02:30](https://youtu.be/phUozLoL2DI?t=150) — [H2] Bethel's formative role in his ministry - Key idea: Despite current stance, Bethel significantly shaped his pastoral development - Evidence: "Bethel was my home for years and I learned so much from them" #### ⏱️ [04:15](https://youtu.be/phUozLoL2DI?t=255) — [H1] Healthy deconstruction versus destructive abandonment - Key idea: Deconstructing systems is healthy as long as Christ remains the foundation - Evidence: "Clear the rubble of doctrinal beliefs, but not tear down the foundation who is Christ" #### ⏱️ [06:00](https://youtu.be/phUozLoL2DI?t=360) — [H2] Democratization of information enabling faith audits - Key idea: Internet access allows believers to scrutinize church systems like never before - Evidence: "Like the new printing press" making church analysis available to everyone #### ⏱️ [08:45](https://youtu.be/phUozLoL2DI?t=525) — [H1] Personal anchor in relationship, not movement - Key idea: His faith remains stable because Jesus, not Bethel, serves as his foundation - Evidence: "Bethel was never my anchor...my anchor isn't a movement, it's a relationship with the Lord" #### ⏱️ [11:20](https://youtu.be/phUozLoL2DI?t=680) — [H2] Spiritual disciplines as stability source - Key idea: Regular Bible reading and prayer provide foundational strength beyond church movements - Evidence: "Having a relationship with the Lord in prayer...that has become the anchor of my faith" #### ⏱️ [13:30](https://youtu.be/phUozLoL2DI?t=810) — [H1] Witnessed Holy Spirit power validates charismatic beliefs - Key idea: Personal experiences of spiritual gifts prevent rejection of charismatic theology - Evidence: "I've seen too much of the power of God in my life to doubt the spiritual gifts" #### ⏱️ [16:00](https://youtu.be/phUozLoL2DI?t=960) — [H2] Criticism from those lacking Holy Spirit encounters - Key idea: Many critics haven't experienced genuine spiritual manifestations they critique - Evidence: "A lot of the individuals that critique...haven't been there when they've seen somebody...break down on their face weeping" #### ⏱️ [18:15](https://youtu.be/phUozLoL2DI?t=1095) — [H3] Harsh treatment of deconstructing believers - Key idea: Hurting believers face cyberbullying instead of restoration from religious critics - Evidence: "Instead of being brought home in open arms...they are being kicked while they are down" #### ⏱️ [20:30](https://youtu.be/phUozLoL2DI?t=1230) — [H2] Comment moderation as pastoral care - Key idea: Maintaining safe discussion space by removing hateful comments - Evidence: "I look at my comment section as a home and I'm hosting" #### ⏱️ [22:45](https://youtu.be/phUozLoL2DI?t=1365) — [H1] Call for restoration ministry over mockery - Key idea: Wounded believers deserve healing, not ridicule from theological opponents - Evidence: "Wounded believers are still believers and they deserve restoration" #### ⏱️ [25:00](https://youtu.be/phUozLoL2DI?t=1500) — [H2] Testimonies validate spiritual gifts - Key idea: Consistent experiences of healing and transformation confirm charismatic theology - Evidence: "The cessationist argument stops entirely the minute someone's broken arm gets healed" #### ⏱️ [27:30](https://youtu.be/phUozLoL2DI?t=1650) — [H3] Worldwide Christianity is charismatic - Key idea: Global church naturally operates in spiritual gifts regardless of theological restrictions - Evidence: "Worldwide Christianity is charismatic Christianity" #### ⏱️ [30:00](https://youtu.be/phUozLoL2DI?t=1800) — [H1] Unity call across denominational lines - Key idea: Believers should collaborate to help hurting people regardless of theological differences - Evidence: "Brothers and sisters need each other regardless of your denominational divides" ## 📚 References - [Bethel Church Redding](https://bethel.com) - [Donald Shrode YouTube Channel](https://www.youtube.com/@donaldshrode) - Spurgeon/Chesterton quote on Word of God needing no defense ## 🗣️ Paraphrase - A pastor acknowledges the pain caused by Bethel controversies while arguing for reformation rather than abandonment of charismatic faith - Personal relationship with Jesus, not church movements, should serve as the foundation that withstands institutional failures - Believers experiencing deconstruction deserve restoration and support, not mockery from theological opponents across denominational lines ## 📰 Newsletter **Faith Through the Storm: A Pastor's Response to Church Controversy** When institutional church failures make headlines, believers face difficult choices about their faith journey. Pastor Donald Shrode offers a thoughtful perspective on maintaining spiritual foundation while acknowledging systemic problems. His key insight: distinguish between healthy questioning of church systems and abandoning core relationship with Jesus. Regular "faith audits" can strengthen belief rather than undermine it when anchored in personal spiritual experience rather than human institutions. **Practical Application:** Consider implementing regular spiritual check-ins to examine beliefs, while maintaining connection to supportive faith community during times of institutional turbulence. **Resources:** - [Learn WordPress](https://learn.wordpress.org/) - [Developer Docs](https://developer.wordpress.org/) - [WP-CLI](https://wp-cli.org/) ## ✅ Action Items #### Community - Create resource banks for believers navigating faith crises - Establish cross-denominational support networks for church refugees - Develop restoration ministries for those hurt by institutional failures #### WordPress - Design community forums for healthy theological discussion - Build moderation tools for maintaining constructive dialogue - Create resource databases for faith-based content creators ## 🧪 Hypotheses - Regular faith auditing strengthens rather than weakens genuine belief systems - Personal spiritual experiences provide more stability than institutional affiliations during church controversies - Cross-denominational collaboration increases during times of crisis within specific movements - Online harassment of deconstructing believers drives further faith abandonment ### 📊 Methodology - Survey believers about faith stability factors during institutional crises - Interview former church members about deconstruction triggers and restoration paths - Analyze comment patterns on religious content during controversy periods ### ❓ Questions - How can church leaders build resilience against institutional scandals in their communities? - What role should personal spiritual experience play versus institutional teaching in faith formation? - How might online platforms better support believers navigating faith transitions? ### 🔮 Future Research - Long-term outcomes for believers who deconstruct during church scandals - Effectiveness of different restoration approaches for wounded church members - Cross-denominational collaboration patterns during religious controversies ### 💡 Implications - Practice: Emphasize personal spiritual disciplines alongside institutional participation - Policy: Develop protocols for supporting members during denominational crises - Education: Train clergy in trauma-informed ministry for scandal-affected believers - Community: Foster inter-church relationships before crisis necessitates them ### 🧠 Learning Styles Assessment Reading level estimate: 12th Grade #### 👀 Visual learners - Present: Video format with speaker - Improve: Infographics showing deconstruction spectrum, denominational collaboration diagrams #### 🔊 Aural learners - Present: Full audio presentation available - Improve: Companion podcast episodes, discussion guides #### 🗣️ Verbal learners - Present: Clear definitions of deconstruction types, theological terminology - Improve: Glossary of charismatic terms, comparison frameworks #### 🧩 Kinesthetic learners - Present: Comment engagement opportunities - Improve: Faith audit worksheets, community connection exercises #### 🧠 Logical learners - Present: Systematic argument structure, cause-effect relationships - Improve: Decision trees for faith navigation, theological comparison charts #### 🧑‍🤝‍🧑 Social learners - Present: Community comment section, denominational bridge-building - Improve: Small group discussion guides, interfaith dialogue frameworks #### 🧘‍♀️ Solitary learners - Present: Personal reflection prompts throughout - Improve: Individual spiritual audit tools, private journaling guides #### 🌿 Naturalistic learners - Present: Organic faith development analogies - Improve: Growth metaphors, seasonal spiritual cycles ### 📊 Accessibility Assessment #### Screen reader semantics - Present: Clear video structure with spoken content - Improve: Transcript with proper heading markup, speaker identification #### Keyboard navigation - Present: Standard YouTube video controls - Improve: Timestamped navigation, chapter markers #### Contrast and readability - Present: High contrast video thumbnail - Improve: Closed captions with appropriate contrast ratios #### Text resizing and reflow - Present: YouTube's responsive design - Improve: Dedicated transcript page with resizable text #### Media and captions - Present: Auto-generated captions available - Improve: Professional captions, audio descriptions for visual elements #### Forms and interactions - Present: Comment section with standard accessibility - Improve: Structured resource submission forms, moderated discussion spaces ### 🌍 DEIB Assessment #### Cultural breadth - Present: References to global charismatic Christianity - Improve: International church examples, multi-cultural healing testimonies #### Inclusive language - Present: "Brothers and sisters" inclusive terminology - Improve: Non-binary inclusive language, culturally diverse examples #### Neurodiversity support - Present: Clear speaking pace, structured argument - Improve: Content warnings for trauma discussion, multiple processing speeds #### Representation - Present: Male pastoral perspective - Improve: Diverse voices from different backgrounds, varied leadership examples #### Psychological safety - Present: Validation of pain, call for restoration - Improve: Specific trauma resources, mental health support acknowledgment ### ✅ Logical Validity #### Strong reasoning - Deductive strength: Personal experience validates broader theological claims - Inductive strength: Multiple healing testimonies support spiritual gifts argument - Causal reasoning: Institutional failures cause faith crises, but personal relationship provides stability - Analogical strength: Internet as printing press analogy for information democratization #### Fallacies - Appeal to personal experience: Validates charismatic gifts based on individual encounters - No true Scotsman: Suggests critics lack "genuine" Holy Spirit encounters - Ad hominem: Dismisses critics as lacking spiritual experience rather than addressing arguments #### Tone of voice - Overall tone: Pastoral, protective, occasionally defensive with underlying frustration toward critics ### 🛡️ DARVO Analysis - Deny: No significant denial patterns observed - Attack: Some criticism of cessationists as lacking spiritual experience - Reverse victim/offender: No clear reversals identified - Emotional cues: Protective pastoral stance, frustration with online harassment, emphasis on restoration over retribution ## 🎯 Conclusion Shrode's response to the Bethel controversy advocates for reformation rather than abandonment of charismatic faith. His emphasis on personal relationship with Jesus as an anchor point during institutional failures offers a framework for believers navigating church scandals. The call for cross-denominational unity in supporting wounded believers represents a mature approach to crisis ministry that prioritizes restoration over theological point-scoring. ## 🧱 Refactor Appendix ### 📚 Literature Split Pad ### [H1] Personal relationship anchors faith during institutional failure > [!quote] I Refuse to Deconstruct (After the Bethel Fallout) by Donald Shrode via YouTube. Published 2024. Accessed 2024-12-19. > "Bethel was never my anchor, my anchor isn't a movement, it's a relationship with the Lord." Distinguishes between institutional dependency and personal spiritual foundation during church controversies. [view highlight](https://youtu.be/phUozLoL2DI?t=525) #xref #articleseed ID:rw_001 ### [H2] Deconstruction spectrum ranges from healthy to destructive > [!quote] I Refuse to Deconstruct (After the Bethel Fallout) > "It's okay to deconstruct your belief in your systems as long as it doesn't take you away from Jesus." Framework for understanding different levels of faith questioning and examination. [view highlight](https://youtu.be/phUozLoL2DI?t=255) #xref ID:rw_002 ### [H1] Wounded believers deserve restoration not mockery > [!quote] I Refuse to Deconstruct (After the Bethel Fallout) > "Wounded believers are still believers and they deserve restoration and restoration doesn't look like mocking." Ministry approach for believers hurt by church scandals emphasizes healing over theological victory. [view highlight](https://youtu.be/phUozLoL2DI?t=1365) #xref #articleseed ID:rw_003 --- ### 🔖 Atomic Split Pad (Zettel Candidates) #### [Z1] Spiritual disciplines provide institutional independence - Regular Bible reading and prayer create stability beyond church movements - Reference to 11:20 timestamp - Links: [[Faith-Formation]] [[Spiritual-Practices]] [[Institutional-Resilience]] #### [Z2 --- ## Full Transcript [00:00] For the last couple months, I have been [00:02] waist-deep in all the controversies [00:04] surrounding Bethel, everything that's [00:06] been going on with the news cycle in the [00:08] charismatic church. [00:10] And it has been tiring. It has been [00:12] difficult. [00:13] And it's been even harder to see that so [00:15] many have been deconstructing in the [00:17] midst of it, my brothers and sisters in [00:19] the faith, individuals that I know, [00:21] individuals that I don't know. It's been [00:23] difficult hearing the stories, stories [00:25] of abuse, stories of fraud. It's been [00:28] even more difficult seeing those who [00:29] aren't part of the charismatic church go [00:32] for the jugular, that now is the time to [00:34] strike, kick them while they're down. [00:37] In the midst of all of this, the [00:38] deconstruction is real and I can't blame [00:41] individuals for going that route. But [00:44] regardless of everything that's been [00:45] happening, I refuse to deconstruct. [00:49] Hey everybody, welcome back to the show. [00:50] My name is Donald Shrode. [00:53] And again, I just want to touch base. [00:55] I'll be honest with you guys, I am a [00:56] little tired. It's been a long last [00:59] couple months going through everything. [01:01] But the fight goes on and regardless, [01:03] there are things to talk about, things [01:04] to navigate and I am here just for that. [01:08] When I heard everything that was coming [01:10] out about Bethel, it was both [01:12] heartbreaking, but I also understood [01:13] that it was necessary for me to use my [01:15] voice. [01:17] Bethel was my home for years and I [01:20] learned so much from them and I really [01:21] grew into the man who I am today, the [01:23] pastor who I am today, the husband, the [01:25] father who I am today because [01:29] my life. And so, I've been accused [01:32] online of using Bethel as a way to just [01:35] stand on like stand on top of Bill [01:37] Johnson to get accolade, to make money, [01:41] uh to just make a name for myself. But [01:44] that is not true. My heart in going into [01:46] this is to stand up for so many that I [01:48] have seen hurting, to stand up for so [01:50] many that I see don't know what to do. [01:52] They're lost at sea when it comes to [01:54] navigating everything that's been [01:55] happening because the charismatic church [01:57] is large, it's massive. [01:59] And Bethel has been such a point of [02:01] reference for so many within the church. [02:04] So, I wanted to make sure that when I [02:06] shared what I've gone through, it was [02:08] used to help and used to interpret. [02:11] So, I think I want to say first of all [02:13] that it's okay to deconstruct your [02:14] belief in your systems as long as it [02:17] doesn't take you away from Jesus. [02:20] It's important for us to clear the [02:21] rubble of doctrinal beliefs, [02:23] but not to tear down the foundation who [02:25] is Christ. [02:26] I I see so many again that that that are [02:28] deconstructing and I get it. There's [02:30] real pain, there's real hurt, there's [02:31] real doubt and I myself am am a fan of [02:33] every 6 months auditing your faith. And [02:36] I think sometimes the Holy Spirit just [02:37] leads you into that direction anyways, [02:39] where it's like, okay, [02:40] we've been walking this out now for a [02:42] number of months or number of years. [02:44] Let's sit down and just reanalyze what [02:46] we really think. There's a [02:48] democratization of of information now [02:50] with the internet. Someone described it [02:52] online as the the new the new printing [02:55] press, so to speak, where suddenly [02:57] you know, the printing press came out [02:58] and all of a sudden the Bible was [02:59] available in a language that people [03:01] could understand. [03:03] So, [03:04] uh the understandings of the church and [03:05] the different facets of the facets of [03:07] the church are now available for [03:08] everyone to analyze and look for [03:10] themselves to see what they really [03:11] believe and I think that is healthy and [03:12] that will bring the church into a new [03:14] era. [03:15] That being said, because the information [03:17] is so readily available, people can [03:19] analyze systems for themselves to be [03:20] like, wait, does this actually match up [03:22] to what scriptures say? [03:24] And one of those structures that's being [03:25] heavily scrutinized right now is the [03:27] charismatic church. And like I said, it [03:29] breaks my heart because it was the [03:31] church that I was raised in. And as [03:33] people analyze it and realize that [03:34] there's all this fraud, there's been all [03:35] this cover-up, [03:37] and even worse, those who have called [03:39] themselves mothers and fathers in the [03:40] faith have have heavily enriched [03:43] themselves from this fraud and from this [03:45] cover-up. [03:47] I get why so many of my peers and so [03:48] many of my brothers and sisters are [03:50] analyzing whether or not this is [03:51] something they even want to be a part of [03:52] anymore. [03:54] And I get that, but deconstruction is is [03:56] a spectrum, right? There there are those [03:58] who are deconstructing whether or not [04:00] they even want to be a part of [04:01] Christianity altogether. [04:03] And that is absolutely heartbreaking to [04:05] hear, that it it's gotten to that point, [04:07] that that's even a question in their [04:08] mind. [04:09] On the other side, there are simply [04:11] deconstructing maybe what they believed [04:13] in the certain facet or the certain [04:14] denomination of the church. [04:16] And I think that is healthy. I'm an [04:18] advocate for that. I think you should. I [04:20] think you should, like I said, always [04:21] analyze and audit your faith. Does it [04:23] still stand up? [04:24] Does the faith in the things that you [04:26] believed at 25 stand still when you're [04:28] 30? [04:29] The ways that your church has taught [04:30] certain doctrines when you were 15, does [04:33] it still fit now that you're [04:34] middle-aged? [04:35] Like, are you just blindly following it [04:37] because the pastor at the pulpit said [04:38] this is the way to do it? [04:40] Or do you see it taught in scripture and [04:42] can you with a good conscience adhere to [04:44] it still? [04:46] I think that as long as you keep asking [04:48] questions and keep prodding the things [04:51] that you believe, [04:52] it's the best way to stress test it. [04:54] It's the it's the best way to see the [04:55] integrity of of what you believe. [04:58] Uh that being said, there are so many [05:00] individuals who have been so hurt from [05:03] what Bethel has done [05:05] that it seems as though they are falling [05:07] away from the faith completely or their [05:09] only [05:11] maybe outlet of pain or therapy that [05:13] they have is to go online in hopes that [05:16] they see Bethel burn. [05:18] And it [05:20] it breaks my heart that a a faith that I [05:23] imagined started out as pure has turned [05:25] into something where they're in such [05:26] pain that they want to see everything [05:28] else hurt as well. [05:30] Now, again, I'm obviously a part of the [05:33] charismatic church. I'm a pastor in a [05:34] charismatic church. I bring that up a [05:36] lot because I think there's been a trend [05:39] of people in the comment section [05:40] accusing me of just trying to get fame [05:42] for this, not really realizing that this [05:44] is the place I call home. [05:47] And um and I'm a loyal individual. [05:50] But it it is completely I think in my [05:52] right [05:54] and I believe calling to ask or advocate [05:59] for [06:00] a a reformation of the of the church [06:02] movement I believe in and I love. [06:05] And we can go all into the weeds and and [06:08] I would just be like in the middle of a [06:10] digression to to to be like, well, why [06:13] do you believe it in the first place? [06:14] Well, what makes you think that? What [06:15] makes you think this? [06:17] And the truth of it is is that [06:20] my deconstruction is only as far as [06:22] auditing what I believe and what I [06:24] believe stands still to this the this [06:26] day and age, right? [06:29] When it comes to the charismatic faith, [06:31] cuz there has been interpretations of [06:33] the Bible that I think are not right. [06:35] There's been interpretations of [06:38] of church doctrines that I think um [06:41] they don't stand the stress test. [06:43] There's been an elevation of the [06:45] prophetic over a basic understanding and [06:48] education in Paul's epistles. I think [06:52] that there's things that all day long I [06:53] can point to, [06:55] but my heart isn't to just simply point [06:58] out what's wrong, cause an echo chamber [06:59] where everyone else in the comment [07:01] section is like, yeah, get them. But [07:03] there's no path forward. [07:06] And so, [07:07] I am refusing to deconstruct because [07:11] well, Bethel was never my anchor, right? [07:13] My anchor isn't a movement, it's a [07:14] relationship with the Lord that exists [07:16] entirely apart from Bethel. [07:19] Systems and leaders fall. We see that, [07:21] we know that, we're witnessing it right [07:22] now. But the word is what carries me [07:25] through all of the disappointment. It [07:27] always has and it and it always will. [07:28] The word and a relationship with the [07:30] Lord. [07:31] I think even when I went to first year, [07:34] as formative as as Bethel has been for [07:36] me, [07:37] it wasn't the only stream that I was [07:38] drinking from, so to speak. There was [07:40] other aspects of the faith that I was [07:42] learning from and growing from. [07:44] Uh and after Bethel, you know, I didn't [07:46] think about Bethel too much. There was [07:48] different avenues again that I was [07:49] reading from, [07:51] different men and women in the faith [07:52] that I was learning from. [07:54] There was uh you know, a structured [07:56] discipline that I have always advocating [07:59] for, that we need to be about the [08:00] spiritual disciplines. Prayer, when was [08:01] the last time you opened up your Bible [08:03] and read it for yourself? When was the [08:04] last time you read your Bible just to [08:06] meet with the Lord and learn, not to [08:07] just try to get a hot point that you can [08:09] debate online? [08:11] And sitting down and and getting into [08:13] those disciplines of reading the word [08:14] and meeting with the Lord regularly, [08:16] letting the word shape me. Um I always [08:19] pray, Holy Spirit, refine me by your [08:20] word. Having a relationship with the [08:23] Lord in prayer where I receive his [08:25] goodness, where I receive his love, I [08:26] receive his direction, the directing of [08:29] the Holy Spirit. [08:30] That has become the anchor of my faith. [08:32] And so, when church movements falter, as [08:34] as hard and as hurtful as it is, [08:37] it didn't shake me. [08:39] I I've seen too much of the power of God [08:41] in my life to doubt the spiritual gifts. [08:44] I've seen so many videos online trying [08:46] to disprove or reinterpret or or insult [08:50] the gifts or or the Holy Spirit. And [08:53] it's been such a difficult thing for me [08:55] to watch and honestly infuriating a lot [08:57] of the time [08:58] because a lot of the individuals [09:04] A lot of the individuals [09:06] that critique so much of the Holy [09:08] Spirit, critique the movements of the [09:10] gifts, haven't been there when they've [09:12] seen somebody who's been stuck in the [09:14] new age or a cult break down on their [09:17] face weeping, crying out for repentance. [09:20] When the power of the Holy Spirit moves [09:21] in the room and they break down crying [09:24] out for God to forgive them or they cry [09:26] out in love and awe and wonder of the [09:28] beauty of Jesus. [09:30] So, it is really hard for me to [09:34] side with [09:35] or or even listen to men who I doubt [09:39] have even met the Holy Spirit in any [09:41] sort of significant way. [09:44] The truth of it is is that the critique [09:45] that has come against so many [09:47] individuals who have been [09:48] deconstructing, [09:50] so many individuals who are hurting, [09:52] that so many individuals who are who are [09:54] looking for a a forward in the faith [09:57] because they love Jesus. They just don't [09:58] know where to go. And instead of being [10:00] met with love and open arms, they've [10:02] been met with harshness. They've been [10:04] met with bullying online. It's almost [10:07] like cyberbullying in the way of of [10:09] modern-day Pharisees online. Where [10:13] instead of being brought home in open [10:14] arms in love to be restored to a [10:16] beautiful faith, they are being kicked [10:18] while they are down. [10:20] And again, it it hurts my heart not just [10:23] as a pastor, but as a man of God. [10:27] Because again, when I look into the [10:29] individuals who are crying out for the [10:32] burning down of the charismatic system [10:34] or crying out for everybody who is [10:37] apparently been deceived and the people [10:39] that are hurting deserved it and the [10:41] individuals who are doing this deserve [10:42] to go to hell, it it really reminds me [10:45] that, you know, I'm not interested in [10:48] enforcing the Holy Spirit into a safe [10:50] theological box. [10:53] I'd rather be in the messy presence of [10:55] the Spirit than in the sterile safety of [10:59] a religion that has no power. [11:03] And so many individuals [11:05] who are trying to tear apart the [11:07] charismatics who are hurting and [11:08] deconstructing right now are men and [11:10] women that I doubt have ever actually [11:12] met the Holy Spirit. [11:15] And the anger and the bitterness and the [11:16] rejection that they carry in their own [11:18] heart, they've spiritualized and [11:20] justified as a way to try to shoot the [11:23] wounded. [11:26] And and I think for me, [11:30] I have no patience for that and I have [11:32] no room for that. [11:35] And so, [11:36] there's been a lot of comments in my [11:38] sections, lots of hate, lots of vitriol, [11:40] lots of um anger. [11:42] Lots of seemingly gleeful individuals [11:46] seeing the hurting that are going [11:48] through the deconstruction of the [11:49] fallout of the idiocy idiocy that has [11:52] been displayed in movements like Bethel [11:54] and the cover up culture. [11:57] And I want to say is [11:59] you've spent a long time writing those [12:01] paragraphs and paragraphs in your [12:03] comments. [12:04] Um I can tell they're articulated well. [12:07] There's enough m dashes to tell that [12:09] you've had chat GPT write it for you to [12:11] be as scathing as possible. [12:13] But I want to I want you to know that [12:14] when you put those comments in my [12:15] comment section, the reason they're [12:17] getting no likes is because you've been [12:18] banned. You've been shadowbanned and no [12:20] one's reading your stuff. [12:22] So, the hate and the vitriol that you're [12:24] spilling out [12:26] is not being received by anyone. It's [12:28] certainly not hurting or received being [12:29] received by me and it won't be hurt [12:32] won't be used to hurt anyone else one [12:34] else or be received by anyone else. [12:36] It'll just be left between you and uh [12:39] and your comment [12:41] because no one's seeing it. [12:43] So, I think sometimes people cry out [12:46] that there needs to be a [12:48] open square in the comment section of [12:50] individuals who are going through these [12:51] kinds of processes and I reject that. [12:54] I look at my comment section as a home [12:56] and I'm hosting. [12:58] And if you're polite and you're kind, [12:59] you're welcome. If you have thoughtful [13:01] disagreement and we want conversations, [13:03] you're welcome to it. [13:05] But if you're just there to try to hurt [13:08] individuals or to uh [13:12] discredit [13:14] people who are hurting or even attack my [13:16] credibility [13:18] um on [13:20] zero basis, [13:22] uh you're not welcome and I will ask you [13:24] to leave. [13:26] Uh and you'll be shadowbanned. So, [13:28] uh but I see a lot of individuals, like [13:31] I said, who don't appear to have much of [13:32] a relationship with the Holy Spirit [13:33] using this as an opportunity to attack [13:35] charismatics and I think my fathering [13:37] heart won't have that cuz wounded [13:40] believers are still believers and they [13:42] deserve restoration and restoration [13:45] doesn't look like mocking. Restoration [13:47] looks like bringing them home. [13:49] So, the point of this channel, [13:51] I know the thumbnails might look spicy [13:52] or whatever trying to get attention. [13:55] Um but it is a way for me to reach out [13:58] with the heart of trying to be a [13:59] mediator in the midst of so much [14:01] fallout. [14:03] But also a way for me to share my heart [14:06] that God is good in the midst of the [14:07] storm. [14:09] And I still believe in a savior who [14:11] calms storms. [14:13] So many people only want a savior that [14:15] that creates storms [14:18] um in favor of their certain theological [14:20] camp. [14:22] But I'm I'm a in favor of a savior who [14:25] calms the storms and restores the [14:27] wounded, who draws near to the [14:28] brokenhearted. [14:30] So, uh [14:33] I guess this is a bit of a shorter [14:34] video. I'm tired. [14:37] >> [laughter] [14:38] >> Tired for a lot of things, partly being [14:40] that some of this material that we're [14:41] working on. [14:42] Um but there's just been a lot going on [14:44] and but it's good stuff. [14:46] But the truth of it is is that I have [14:48] seen the power of the Holy Spirit too [14:51] much in my life to ever reject him that [14:53] if it came down to it, I could never not [14:55] be a charismatic because I've [14:56] encountered the Holy Spirit and his [14:58] goodness and his love and his [15:00] his redeeming [15:02] I don't know, personality, his redeeming [15:04] aspects too often, too regularly to ever [15:07] say that it wasn't true because I [15:09] disagree with Bill Johnson. [15:12] Um I have seen too many individuals who [15:14] weren't even looking to know the Lord, [15:16] who were loving their sin, surrender, [15:19] repent, [15:20] and under the presence of the Holy [15:22] Spirit in the room and cry out for mercy [15:24] and forgiveness. I've seen the power of [15:26] God heal too many individuals. [15:29] Heal over and over and over again. The [15:31] cessationist argument stops entirely the [15:33] minute someone's broken arm gets healed. [15:36] Uh I I've seen too many individuals been [15:38] verified by the medical community that [15:40] it was a miracle. [15:42] I've seen too many times and been [15:45] I'm subject to words of knowledge and [15:47] words of prophecy that absolutely read [15:48] my mail, that absolutely clarified [15:51] different aspects of my life. And that's [15:53] not to say that the Bible isn't enough [15:54] that I need a prophetic word, but the [15:55] Bible is the basis for strong prophetic [15:57] words to lead the way. We need the logos [15:59] and the rhema. [16:00] You know, this video wasn't meant for me [16:02] just to be advocating for the gifts of [16:03] the Spirit. The gifts of the Spirit [16:05] advocate for themselves. I believe that [16:08] worldwide Christianity is charismatic [16:10] Christianity. And when I say [16:11] charismatic, I don't mean the NAR [16:13] boogeyman that everybody seems to cry [16:15] out for and want to hunt like it's [16:17] Bigfoot. [16:18] Uh I I mean that the charismata, the [16:21] gifts of the Holy Spirit are active and [16:23] well regardless of your theological [16:26] boxes that you want to shut it down. [16:28] And [16:29] I think it was Spurgeon that said that [16:31] the word of God doesn't mean doesn't [16:33] need to be defended or maybe it was [16:34] Chesterton, I forget which, but the word [16:36] of God doesn't need to be defended any [16:37] more than a roaring lion needs to be [16:38] defended. The Holy Spirit does not to be [16:41] need to be defended and the gifts of the [16:42] Spirit will keep flowing regardless if [16:44] you want them to stop. [16:46] The aspect of of Christ and the ministry [16:48] of reconciliation marches on regardless [16:51] of offense. Marches on regardless of [16:53] religious attitudes that would hate any [16:56] emotional expression of love towards the [16:57] Lord. [16:59] Sometimes I think individuals are more [17:00] akin to Michael hating David dancing [17:03] than they are to King David dancing in [17:05] worship to the Lord. I think so many [17:07] individuals in the comment section are [17:08] coming after those who are [17:10] deconstructing are more akin to the [17:12] crowd that was crying out for Barabbas [17:14] instead of crying out for Christ. That [17:16] you still would rather have Barabbas [17:18] than you would have the risen king. [17:21] Um that being said, there is always room [17:24] for you to repent. There is always room [17:26] for you to turn to the things of the [17:28] kingdom. Turn to the things of love. [17:29] Turn to the things of the Holy Spirit [17:32] and his beauty and his wonder [17:35] and his power to change. His power to [17:38] change culture, his power to change [17:40] failed charismatic church movements, his [17:42] power to change lives on an individual [17:44] basis. There's been too many marriages [17:46] that I've seen restored, too many people [17:48] coming out of homosexuality, too many [17:49] people being freed of pornography, too [17:51] many people who have given up the bottle [17:53] instead of instead to have the drink of [17:55] the Holy Spirit. There's been too many [17:57] people that have been absolutely [17:59] transformed and are never again the same [18:01] because of the Holy Spirit, because of [18:04] Christ Jesus, because of a father who [18:05] loves them. And I will not reject a [18:08] third of the Trinity because it fits a [18:10] theological box. I will not reject who [18:12] the person of the Holy Spirit is because [18:15] people don't like how it looks. I will [18:17] not accuse the power of the Holy Spirit [18:19] changing families' lives because I think [18:22] it's trendy to call it some kind of [18:24] Hindu spirit, like the Kundalini spirit. [18:26] Ah, yes. The Kundalini spirit, the one [18:29] that hits people and makes them repent [18:31] and cry out for forgiveness and love. [18:34] That is not who I am. That is not what [18:35] this channel is about. This channel is [18:37] about reformation of the charismatic [18:39] movement. It's about the message of the [18:40] gospel, the good news. The power of God [18:42] unto salvation for all men. [18:46] It's no longer I who live, but Christ [18:47] who lives in me. I believe that to be [18:50] true. And in doing so, I am partnering [18:52] with that same ministry of [18:54] reconciliation he did, he started, he [18:56] initiated 2,000 years ago and is being [18:58] carried carried through in his bride [19:01] today. And if there is an aspect of the [19:03] bride of Christ that is hurting, I will [19:06] not stand before the judgment throne and [19:08] be accused of kicking her while she is [19:10] down. I will be [19:12] hopefully commended that I was a part of [19:15] the solution to serve the bride unto [19:18] health, unto holiness, for if not for [19:20] the sake of this generation, but for the [19:22] sake of my children's generation. [19:25] So, that being said, this is a call to [19:28] love as well. [19:29] This comment section hereby today in [19:32] this video, uh [19:34] I want to be for encouragement and [19:36] resources. I'm sure there'll be people [19:37] who are crying out in anger. I'm sure [19:39] there'll be more DMs by individuals who [19:41] hate that I didn't exactly quote the [19:43] Nicene Creed to the point. Um but let's [19:47] stop the ego. [19:49] All right? Before you before you comment [19:50] down below in in your uh [19:54] your well-meditated vitriol, [19:56] let's stop the ego and let's turn the [19:58] comments into a resource bank for the [20:00] hurting. [20:02] Uh if a healthy church or a specific [20:04] book helped you heal, [20:06] I want you to share it below so we can [20:08] actually help each other. There's [20:09] individuals who are deconstructing, they [20:11] don't know where to go. [20:13] Um [20:13] put books down there that help, put [20:15] podcasts down there that help, link [20:17] videos that helped. Um if there's [20:19] individuals who have come out of an [20:21] unsafe church, [20:23] uh the the solution isn't isolation, [20:26] it's to go to a healthy church. [20:28] And so if there's individuals out there [20:30] who are looking for a church in an area, [20:32] comment down below, I'm in such and such [20:34] area, I'm looking for a new church. And [20:35] I'm calling on the bride of Christ to [20:38] comment back, to respond. Like, hey, I [20:40] love this church, it's in the area. I'm [20:41] calling on the reformed to do it, I'm [20:43] calling on the charismatic to do it. [20:45] This isn't a time to draw theological [20:47] like lines in the sand thinking that you [20:49] alone are the gatekeepers of the faith. [20:51] This is a time for us to come together [20:53] as believers to help each other in love. [20:56] Um and your anger has no voice here. [21:00] If there's orthodoxy brother brothers [21:02] and sisters who want to help, amen. If [21:03] there's Catholic brothers and sisters [21:05] who want to help, hallelujah. [21:07] Uh put your resources down there. It's [21:09] time for us to to look at the the [21:12] the mosaic of the faith like a potluck. [21:15] Uh there's two examples there, too. Two [21:16] imageries there that we can pull from. [21:19] It doesn't have to be just one dish, it [21:20] doesn't have to be just Lutheran, just [21:22] Baptist, just Episcopalian. [21:25] Brothers and sisters need each other [21:26] regardless of your denominational [21:27] divides. [21:29] So, if you need a church, [21:31] say so below, say the area you're in. [21:34] And if there's individuals that see that [21:35] they're in that area, put your church [21:36] there. Connect. Use this as an [21:38] opportunity to connect as brothers and [21:40] sisters in Christ. [21:42] I have a lot of brothers and sisters in [21:43] Christ that aren't charismatic and I [21:44] love them dearly. You don't have to just [21:47] be friends with your theological [21:48] agreement. It's the unity of the spirit, [21:51] right? It's not not unity of the [21:53] doctrine. [21:55] Um if you again, yeah, put your [21:57] resources down down below if you think [21:59] it'll help, books, podcasts, videos. [22:02] Um prayers. [22:03] Put them down below and make this [22:06] comment section, I don't want to say a [22:08] safe safe space, I hate that woke [22:09] language, but [22:11] create the comment make the comment [22:13] section an encouraging space for those [22:15] who are hurting and those who need [22:17] restoration. [22:19] And together, we will move forward in [22:21] health, in love, and in friendship as [22:23] brothers and sisters of Christ should, [22:25] cuz the day that we have to answer to [22:27] our Father, we want to say that we are [22:28] those who loved our siblings well. [22:32] Um [22:33] amen. [22:35] All right, guys, if you like this video, [22:37] go ahead and think about subscribing, [22:39] commenting down below. [22:41] Um we're looking at different ways to [22:42] take this channel. I don't want this [22:44] channel to be only exclusively what [22:46] Bethel did wrong. [22:47] >> [laughter] [22:48] >> We are looking to do commentary of the [22:49] church church as a whole. Um but [22:51] regardless, it's the message of Christ [22:53] that we want to push out there. Um to [22:55] him be all the glory. So, Father, [22:57] every single person that's watching [22:59] this, I pray for peace, [23:01] direction, encouragement, and love over [23:03] them. I pray, Father God, that uh this [23:05] would be a beautiful season as we enter [23:07] spring right now. This will be a [23:09] beautiful season of knowing you deeper, [23:11] just a closer walk with you, and a [23:12] closer understanding, and and deep [23:14] diving into your word. And thank you, [23:17] Holy Spirit. May we be a people who [23:19] eagerly seek the gifts of the Holy [23:21] Spirit um as we've been commanded to, [23:23] and that we would seek them for the [23:25] betterment of the church, [23:26] and seek them [23:28] uh yeah, to affirm, confirm, validate. [23:32] >> [laughter] [23:33] >> Um but also just to walk into the [23:34] freedom that you have for us. May we [23:36] pray, amen. All right, guys, think about [23:38] comment, liking, and subscribing, helps [23:40] the channel a ton. Love you guys, we [23:42] will see you next time.  📄 **Full text:** ![[Full Document Contents/Articles/I Refuse to Deconstruct|I Refuse to Deconstruct, YouTube]] ## Highlights - For the last couple months, I have been waist-deep in all the controversies surrounding Bethel, everything that's been going on with the news cycle in the charismatic church. And it has been tiring. It has been difficult. And it's been even harder to see that so many have been deconstructing in the midst of it, my brothers and sisters in the faith, individuals that I know, individuals that I don't know. It's been difficult hearing the stories, stories of abuse, stories of fraud. It's been even more difficult seeing those who aren't part of the charismatic church go ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01knw7pmqqbh8fa7gtrm7nrqzm)) - Tags: 👻 ai highlighted - Now, again, I'm obviously a part of the charismatic church. I'm a pastor in a charismatic church. I bring that up a lot because I think there's been a trend of people in the comment section accusing me of just trying to get fame for this, not really realizing that this is the place I call home. And um and I'm a loyal individual. But it it is completely I think in my right and I believe calling to ask or advocate for ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01knw7pmr7jeha5d3xcag01e7t)) - Tags: 👻 ai highlighted - That has become the anchor of my faith. And so, when church movements falter, as as hard and as hurtful as it is, it didn't shake me. I I've seen too much of the power of God in my life to doubt the spiritual gifts. I've seen so many videos online trying to disprove or reinterpret or or insult the gifts or or the Holy Spirit. And it's been such a difficult thing for me to watch and honestly infuriating a lot of the time because a lot of the individuals ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01knw7pmrxshgy2j59g68apgxb)) - Tags: 👻 ai highlighted