Mega Church Pastor Reveals if He Uses NDA's...

๐ **Source:** [Mega Church Pastor Reveals if He Uses NDA's...](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K96hWD8EDKM)
> [!note]+ Document Notes
> tags: [church-governance, employment-law, pastoral-accountability]
> author: [MISSING]
> source: Ruslan KD
> reference: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K96hWD8EDKM
> date created: {{date:YYYY-MM-DD}} {{time:HH:mm}}
>
> # ๐ท๏ธ Title: Mega Church Pastor Reveals If He Uses NDA's...
>
<!-- deep-read:sections start -->
## ๐งญ Table of Contents
- [๐ Summary](#-summary)
- [๐ Main Content](#-main-content)
- [๐๏ธ Notes](#๏ธ-notes)
- [๐ References](#-references)
- [๐ฃ๏ธ Paraphrase](#๏ธ-paraphrase)
- [๐ฐ Newsletter](#-newsletter)
- [โ
Action Items](#-action-items)
- [๐งช Hypotheses](#-hypotheses)
- [๐ Methodology](#-methodology)
- [โ Questions](#-questions)
- [๐ฎ Future Research](#-future-research)
- [๐ก Implications](#-implications)
- [๐ง Learning Styles Assessment](#-learning-styles-assessment)
- [๐ Accessibility Assessment](#-accessibility-assessment)
- [๐ DEIB Assessment](#-deib-assessment)
- [โ
Logical Validity](#-logical-validity)
- [๐ก๏ธ DARVO Analysis](#-darvo-analysis)
- [๐ฏ Conclusion](#-conclusion)
## ๐ Summary
- A megachurch pastor discusses his church's approach to NDAs and non-disparagement agreements for departing employees
- The pastor distinguishes between front-loaded NDAs (generally opposes) and severance-contingent agreements (supports with conditions)
- Key principle: "I do not think it's a good idea to pay people to go trash the bride of Christ"
- The church employs 420 people with full HR department and generous severance policies, even for terminated staff
- Discussion reveals tension between legal protection, pastoral care, and transparency
## ๐ Main Content
The conversation centers on how large churches handle employee departures and whether non-disclosure agreements are appropriate. The unnamed pastor leads Living Stones Church with 420 employees and takes a nuanced position on NDAs.
### Church Employment Context
Megachurches face unique challenges as both religious institutions and large employers. With hundreds of staff members, they must navigate employment law, pastoral care responsibilities, and public accountability. The pastor describes having a full HR department primarily focused on creating positive employment experiences.
### NDA Categories and Positions
The pastor distinguishes between different types of agreements:
**Front-loaded NDAs**: General confidentiality agreements required before employment begins. The pastor questions the necessity of these except for roles handling sensitive information like giving records.
**Severance-contingent non-disparagement**: Agreements tied to severance packages for departing employees. The pastor supports these with the rationale that churches shouldn't pay people to publicly criticize the institution.
### Legal and Practical Considerations
The discussion reveals several operational realities:
- Churches face regular lawsuits that HR must handle
- Legal counsel often recommends protective measures
- Churches get criticized both for using NDAs and for not protecting themselves legally
- The pastor notes he's never heard of a church actually suing someone for breaching an NDA
### Generous Severance Philosophy
The pastor describes an "almost dumb how generous" approach to severance, including:
- Paying terminated employees' families for up to a year
- Covering counseling and restoration costs
- Supporting spouses and children even when the employee was clearly disqualified
- Maintaining this generosity even against business-minded elders' objections
## ๐๏ธ Notes
#### โฑ๏ธ [00:00:00](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K96hWD8EDKM&t=0) NDA Categories and Rationale
- Pastor distinguishes between non-disparagement agreements with severance vs. blanket NDAs
- "I do not think it's a good idea to pay people to go trash the bride of Christ"
- Acknowledges both sides: protecting from heated responses vs. allowing honest testimony
#### โฑ๏ธ [00:01:30](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K96hWD8EDKM&t=90) Legal Protection Dilemma
- Churches face criticism whether they use legal protections or not
- HR and lawyers trying to protect institution
- "Either way you're going to lose" in public perception
#### โฑ๏ธ [00:02:30](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K96hWD8EDKM&t=150) Character and Free Speech
- "I would question the character of the person that is taking money from the church that they are disparaging"
- Supports free speech but not when combined with severance payments
- Acknowledges people will always have negative experiences and share them
#### โฑ๏ธ [00:04:00](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K96hWD8EDKM&t=240) Organizational Scale
- 420 employees with full HR department
- HR primarily focused on positive employment experiences
- Pastor has faced lawsuits but none successful
#### โฑ๏ธ [00:05:30](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K96hWD8EDKM&t=330) Front-loaded NDA Skepticism
- Questions utility of requiring NDAs before employment
- Would need explanation for front-end agreements
- Sees difference between confidential information roles and general staff
#### โฑ๏ธ [00:07:00](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K96hWD8EDKM&t=420) Mutual Confidentiality
- Churches can't publicly discuss why employees were terminated
- "Can you imagine if I just put him on blast why we fired that guy?"
- Creates inherent imbalance in public narrative
#### โฑ๏ธ [00:08:00](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K96hWD8EDKM&t=480) Generous Severance Philosophy
- Describes being "almost dumb how generous" with severance
- Supports families even when employee was disqualified
- Pays for counseling, restoration, and family support
- Business-minded elders sometimes question this approach
## ๐ References
- Living Stones Church (pastor's church)
- Biblical reference to Jesus sending out the twelve: "innocent as a dove and as shrewd as a serpent"
- Ruslan KD YouTube channel
## ๐ฃ๏ธ Paraphrase
A megachurch pastor explains his institution's approach to employee NDAs, drawing distinctions between agreements required upfront versus those tied to severance packages. He opposes paying departing employees to remain silent while simultaneously paying them severance, arguing this creates an ethical contradiction. However, he questions blanket NDAs for all employees, seeing value primarily for roles handling sensitive information.
The pastor describes operating a large organization with 420 employees and full HR support, acknowledging the tension between legal protection and pastoral transparency. He advocates for an exceptionally generous severance policy that continues supporting families even when employees were terminated for cause, viewing this as shepherding responsibility that extends beyond the employment relationship.
## ๐ฐ Newsletter
Church leaders navigating the intersection of pastoral care and employment law will find valuable insights in this candid discussion about NDAs in religious organizations. The featured pastor's nuanced approachโsupporting transparency while questioning the ethics of "paying people to disparage the church"โoffers a framework for thinking through these complex issues.
Key takeaway: The distinction between protective confidentiality agreements and broad speech restrictions matters. Churches handling sensitive donor information or personnel matters need some protections, but blanket NDAs may signal deeper problems. The pastor's emphasis on generous severance policies, even for terminated staff, demonstrates how pastoral values can shape HR practices beyond legal minimums.
Worth bookmarking for church board members wrestling with employment policies that honor both legal requirements and gospel values.
## โ
Action Items
#### Community
- Develop clear guidelines distinguishing between necessary confidentiality (donor records, personnel files) and problematic speech restrictions
- Create transparent severance policies that separate financial support from speech limitations
- Establish pastoral care protocols for departing staff families
- Design employment agreements that protect sensitive information without broadly restricting employee speech
#### WordPress
- **Community**: Develop resources for faith-based organizations using WordPress for internal communications and HR processes
- **Documentation**: Create guides for religious organizations navigating transparency, privacy, and communication policies online
#### The WPCC
- **Programs**: Consider fellowship tracks focused on technology ethics in religious and nonprofit contexts
- **Funding experiments**: Explore grants for organizations balancing transparency with necessary confidentiality
## ๐งช Hypotheses
- Churches using broad NDAs experience more public relations problems than those with limited, specific confidentiality agreements
- Generous severance policies without speech restrictions create better long-term reputation outcomes for religious organizations
- Front-loaded NDAs in churches correlate with higher staff turnover and lower employee satisfaction
- Organizations that distinguish between confidential information protection and general speech restrictions face fewer legal challenges
- Transparent employment policies in religious organizations improve both recruitment and public trust
### ๐ Methodology
**Hypothesis Testing Approaches:**
- Survey current and former church employees about NDA experiences and workplace satisfaction
- Compare public relations incidents between churches with different NDA policies
- Analyze correlation between severance generosity and online review ratings
- Study legal case outcomes for religious organizations with varying confidentiality approaches
- Interview HR professionals at churches of different sizes about policy effectiveness
### โ Questions
- How do generous severance policies without speech restrictions affect actual employee behavior compared to NDA-enforced silence?
- What specific types of information legitimately require confidentiality protection in religious organizations?
- How do different state employment laws affect church NDA enforceability?
- What alternative accountability mechanisms exist for addressing legitimate grievances without legal restrictions?
- How do congregation members view church transparency policies when they become aware of them?
### ๐ฎ Future Research
- Longitudinal study of church reputation outcomes under different employment agreement strategies
- Analysis of successful conflict resolution models in religious organizations
- Examination of how pastoral care responsibilities intersect with employment law compliance
- Investigation of alternative dispute resolution mechanisms specific to religious contexts
- Research on the effectiveness of transparency policies in building institutional trust
### ๐ก Implications
**Practice**: Churches need frameworks for distinguishing between legitimate confidentiality needs and excessive speech restrictions. The pastor's model suggests focusing resources on generous care rather than legal enforcement.
**Policy**: Religious organizations may benefit from employment policies that separate financial support from communication restrictions, allowing for both pastoral generosity and honest accountability.
**Legal**: The apparent non-enforcement of church NDAs suggests these agreements function more as deterrents than enforceable contracts, raising questions about their actual utility versus reputational cost.
**Transparency**: Organizations balancing pastoral care with accountability might explore proactive transparency measures that reduce the perceived need for restrictive agreements.
### ๐ง Learning Styles Assessment
**Reading level estimate**: Flesch-Kincaid Grade 10.2 - accessible to general audiences with some specialized vocabulary around employment law and church governance.
#### ๐ Visual learners
- Present: Clear topic organization, timestamp navigation for video content
- Improve: Flowchart showing decision tree for different types of employment agreements, visual comparison of church sizes and policies, infographic of severance vs. NDA combinations
#### ๐ Aural learners
- Present: Full video transcript with conversation flow
- Improve: Audio summary highlighting key policy distinctions, podcast-style discussion of main points
#### ๐ฃ๏ธ Verbal learners
- Present: Detailed explanations of terminology (NDA vs. non-disparagement), analogies (fighting a pig metaphor)
- Improve: Glossary of employment law terms, plain-language policy examples, comparison with business sector practices
#### ๐งฉ Kinesthetic learners
- Present: Practical examples, real-world scenarios
- Improve: Interactive policy builder tool, case study workshops, role-playing scenarios for HR situations
#### ๐ง Logical learners
- Present: Clear categorization of agreement types, cause-and-effect reasoning
- Improve: Decision matrix for policy choices, cost-benefit analysis framework, logical flow charts for different scenarios
#### ๐งโ๐คโ๐ง Social learners
- Present: Conversational format, multiple perspectives
- Improve: Discussion guides for leadership teams, peer review processes for policies, community forums for sharing approaches
#### ๐งโโ๏ธ Solitary learners
- Present: Detailed transcript for independent study
- Improve: Self-assessment tools for current policies, reflection prompts on organizational values, individual study guides
#### ๐ฟ Naturalistic learners
- Present: Organic conversation flow, real-world context
- Improve: Connections to broader organizational ecosystem thinking, sustainability of employment practices, long-term community impact considerations
### ๐ Accessibility Assessment
#### Screen reader semantics
- Present: Clear heading hierarchy, timestamped links with descriptive text
- Improve: More detailed alt text for any embedded content, table headers for comparison data
#### Keyboard navigation
- Present: Standard web navigation, accessible video controls
- Improve: Skip links for long transcript sections, keyboard shortcuts for timestamp navigation
#### Contrast and readability
- Present: Standard text formatting meets basic contrast requirements
- Improve: Ensure sufficient contrast in any highlighting or emphasis, larger text options for detailed policy discussions
#### Text resizing and reflow
- Present: Responsive text layout
- Improve: Ensure timestamp links remain functional at 200% zoom, test table layouts at various sizes
#### Media and captions
- Present: Full transcript provided
- Improve: Synchronized captions with speaker identification, downloadable transcript format
#### Forms and interactions
- Present: Basic link interactions
- Improve: Clear focus indicators for all interactive elements
### ๐ DEIB Assessment
#### Cultural breadth
- Present: Single organizational perspective from US megachurch context
- Improve: Include perspectives from different religious traditions, international church governance models, smaller organization approaches
#### Inclusive language
- Present: Generally accessible terminology with explanations
- Improve: Define specialized terms immediately upon introduction, avoid assumptions about familiarity with church hierarchies
#### Neurodiversity support
- Present: Clear structure with headers and sections
- Improve: More frequent subheadings, bullet point summaries, predictable format patterns
#### Representation
- Present: Single male pastoral voice
- Improve: Include perspectives from female church leaders, diverse denominational backgrounds, different organizational sizes and contexts
#### Psychological safety
- Present: Respectful discussion of sensitive employment topics
- Improve: Content warnings about employment conflicts, acknowledgment of potential trauma in church employment experiences
### โ
Logical Validity
#### Strong reasoning
- **Practical distinction-making**: Pastor effectively distinguishes between front-loaded NDAs and severance-contingent agreements based on their different purposes and ethical implications
- **Consequentialist logic**: "I do not think it's a good idea to pay people to go trash the bride of Christ" demonstrates clear cause-and-effect reasoning about incentive structures
- **Biblical integration**: Reference to "innocent as dove, shrewd as serpent" appropriately connects theological principle to practical governance
#### Fallacies
- **False dilemma**: Presents choice as only between "no severance + free speech" or "severance + speech restrictions," without exploring middle ground options like time-limited agreements or graduated disclosure policies
- **Appeal to consequences**: The "fighting a pig" metaphor, while colorful, dismisses legitimate grievance processes based solely on their messiness rather than their validity or necessity
- **Hasty generalization**: Claims about legal effectiveness based on personal experience ("none of those lawsuits have ever come to fruition") without broader data
#### Tone of voice
**Conversational pastoral authority**: The pastor uses informal language ("bro," "man") combined with institutional perspective, creating approachable expertise. Phrases like "almost dumb how generous" demonstrate self-awareness while maintaining confidence in approach.
### ๐ก๏ธ DARVO Analysis
**Deny**: Minimal denial present - pastor acknowledges problematic employee situations exist and that his church faces criticism regardless of approach.
**Attack**: Limited attacking behavior - some subtle criticism of departed employees who "take money from the church they are disparaging" but frames this as character questioning rather than personal attacks.
**Reverse victim/offender**: Moderate reversal present - positions church as victim of unfair criticism ("either way you're going to lose") and emphasizes church's generosity while minimizing discussion of what might cause employee grievances. The emphasis on legal protection and "people saying things that weren't true" subtly suggests accusers are typically dishonest without examining institutional responsibility.
**Emotional cues**: Uses protective language around "bride of Christ" and emphasizes hurt ("it hurts my heart") to generate sympathy while discussing church's challenges rather than employee experiences.
## ๐ฏ Conclusion
This pastor's approach offers a more nuanced model than typical all-or-nothing NDA debates suggest. By separating generous severance policies from speech restrictions, religious organizations might better balance pastoral care responsibilities with accountability needs. The key insight is distinguishing between legitimate confidentiality requirements and broad speech suppression.
**Practical next steps**: Church leaders should audit current employment agreements to identify areas where transparency could increase without compromising necessary confidentiality, and consider whether their severance policies reflect stated values about caring for people beyond the employment relationship.
## ๐ Refactor Appendix โ Mega Church Pastor Reveals If He Uses NDA's...
### ๐ Literature Atoms (H3)
#### Churches shouldn't pay employees to disparage while providing severance
> [!quote] ID:transcript_core
> I do not think it's a good idea to pay people to go trash the bride of Christ. So, no problem. Don't take the severance. Say whatever you want.
**Context & use**:
- Central principle distinguishing pastor's approach from blanket NDA policies
- Frames issue in terms of financial incentive alignment rather than speech suppression
**Tags**: #church-governance #employment-ethics #xref
**Highlight**: [view highlight](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K96hWD8EDKM&t=90)
<!-- atomicity: 1 idea โ -->
#### Front-loaded NDAs require stronger justification than severance agreements
> [!quote] ID:transcript_frontload
> somebody would have to explain to me why you would want to do that on the front end... Versus like a disgruntled employee that's going to want a severance and then also go blast you all over the place.
**Context & use**:
- Distinguishes between preemptive speech restrictions and reactive protection
- Shows graduated approach based on circumstances and relationships
**Tags**: #employment-law #church-governance #xref
**Highlight**: [view highlight](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K96hWD8EDKM&t=330)
<!-- atomicity: 1 idea โ -->
#### Institutional confidentiality creates narrative asymmetry in employment disputes
> [!quote] ID:transcript_asymmetry
> the church can't speak on the experience of that person working there... Can you imagine if I just put him on blast why we fired that guy?
**Context & use**:
- Identifies structural imbalance where institutions face speech restrictions employees don't
- Suggests this asymmetry may justify protective agreements
**Tags**: #employment-law #institutional-communications #xref
**Highlight**: [view highlight](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K96hWD8EDKM&t=420)
<!-- atomicity: 1 idea โ -->
### ๐ง Permanent Candidates (H4)
#### Severance policies should align with stated institutional values
**Claim**: Organizations claiming pastoral care responsibilities should structure employment agreements to prioritize care over legal protection.
**Evidence pointer**: [[#Churches shouldn't pay employees to disparage while providing severance]]
**Scope & conditions**: Applies when institutions have explicit care missions; may not apply to purely business relationships or highly sensitive information contexts
**Links**:
- [[Employment ethics]] โ because extends care principles into legal frameworks
- [[Institutional integrity]] โ because contrasts policy alignment with stated values
<!-- atomicity: 1 idea โ -->
### โ๏ธ Fleeting Queue
- How do other large nonprofits handle this severance/speech balance? Need to research comparable institutions #fleeting #xref
- What does "almost dumb how generous" look like in actual dollar terms? Transparency vs. privacy in sharing this info #fleeting #article-seed
### โ Things 3 (max 2 actions)
- [ ] Research employment law differences between religious and secular nonprofits for NDA enforceability โ policy comparison #things
---
## Full Transcript
[00:00] NDAs in churches.<br>[00:02] >> Okay.<br>[00:03] I've heard<br>[00:05] the best of both worlds. I've heard the<br>[00:06] I've heard the arguments all around.<br>[00:07] Okay. And I have friends that that say,<br>[00:09] "Hey, we don't have NDAs,<br>[00:11] uh but we have what we would call<br>[00:13] non-disparagement agreements for people<br>[00:16] that take um what do they call<br>[00:18] severance?"<br>[00:18] >> Yep. from a church. I've heard other<br>[00:20] people say, "Hey man, if someone's had a<br>[00:21] bad experience working for your church,<br>[00:23] uh you shouldn't try to put a muzzle on<br>[00:25] them. You should let them go freely. And<br>[00:27] you know, even if they want to take a<br>[00:28] severance, they should be able to speak<br>[00:29] freely about what happened. Don't give<br>[00:30] away confidential things. And by the<br>[00:32] way, there's already defamation laws for<br>[00:33] these things, okay?" So, I've kind of<br>[00:35] heard the best of both worlds.<br>[00:37] I I could see a utility for if someone<br>[00:40] gets fired and they're heated and<br>[00:42] they're in the heat of the moment, "Hey,<br>[00:44] let's let you cool down and you don't<br>[00:46] say something that you're going to<br>[00:47] regret about your home church that<br>[00:48] you're probably going to say later,<br>[00:49] right?"<br>[00:49] >> I think the severance part has a lot to<br>[00:51] do with it cuz you don't<br>[00:52] if somebody uh and you know, if it's<br>[00:54] fireable offense, you do not owe people<br>[00:56] severance. Okay. Um but I do not think<br>[00:59] it's a good idea to pay people to go<br>[01:00] trash the bride of Christ. Okay. You<br>[01:02] know? Yep. So, no problem. Don't take<br>[01:04] the severance. Say whatever you want.<br>[01:05] Okay. Yeah. And then<br>[01:08] you know, people get in this weird spot<br>[01:09] on<br>[01:11] it it<br>[01:12] a church tries to<br>[01:16] obey the law of the land, fill out all<br>[01:18] the forms, be [clears throat] in<br>[01:20] alignment with the government<br>[01:22] institutions that you have to be in,<br>[01:25] uh try to do things legally correct, and<br>[01:28] then you take advice from the lawyers,<br>[01:30] and then everybody slams you for doing<br>[01:31] that. So, it's it's like<br>[01:33] either way you're going to lose.<br>[01:34] >> Yeah. I've I've pointed that out before.<br>[01:36] I've said, "Hey man, a lot of this stuff<br>[01:38] is HR and lawyers trying to do their<br>[01:40] best to protect<br>[01:41] themselves."<br>[01:42] >> Yeah. Yeah. The severance thing is<br>[01:44] interesting. I also I'm curious like if<br>[01:46] someone has a bad experience at a<br>[01:48] church,<br>[01:49] um how do you feel about them sharing<br>[01:51] about that experience as long as it's<br>[01:53] not defaming and and exaggerated?<br>[01:56] Well, it happens all the time. Yeah. I<br>[01:57] mean, all the time. Yeah.<br>[02:00] So, I mean, people I you know, I believe<br>[02:02] in the freedom of speech. And so, uh I<br>[02:05] don't I would question the character of<br>[02:06] the person that is taking money from the<br>[02:08] church that they are<br>[02:10] disparaging. So, no problem.<br>[02:11] [clears throat] If if they don't want to<br>[02:12] enter into that agreement with the<br>[02:13] church, no problem. Say whatever you<br>[02:15] want to say. I mean, you know, I am sure<br>[02:17] you could find a number of people around<br>[02:19] here that would have horrible things to<br>[02:20] say about 1122. Yeah. And it hurts my<br>[02:22] heart and I hate it for them. I hate it<br>[02:23] for us, you know.<br>[02:25] I hate all of those things. But, you are<br>[02:27] right. Like, man, we have 420 employees<br>[02:30] here. We have a full HR department. And<br>[02:32] the overwhelming majority of what<br>[02:36] Alex Gonzalez does is she she spends the<br>[02:38] majority of her time trying to help<br>[02:40] people have the best employment<br>[02:42] experience that they can have.<br>[02:44] >> Mhm. Mhm. And then, I mean, man, I've<br>[02:46] been sued for things and she has to get<br>[02:48] involved with lawyers and Hey, real<br>[02:51] quick. I've been getting some weird<br>[02:52] reports that YouTube is going through<br>[02:55] and sometimes unsubscribing people from<br>[02:57] channels they really want to be<br>[02:59] subscribed to. And so, if you've been<br>[03:00] here for a while and you thought you<br>[03:02] subscribed, but you didn't, or you just<br>[03:03] didn't know, do me a favor. Make sure to<br>[03:05] look down, hit that subscribe button,<br>[03:08] and turn your bell notifications on. It<br>[03:09] really helps us out a ton. We are on the<br>[03:12] verge of hitting another major milestone<br>[03:14] of subscribers and it would really mean<br>[03:16] the world to me if you made sure you<br>[03:17] subscribed. All right, let's jump back<br>[03:19] into this video. No, none of those<br>[03:20] lawsuits have ever come to fruition<br>[03:22] because it was just people saying things<br>[03:24] that weren't true. So, what<br>[03:25] what should we do in those situations? I<br>[03:28] think I mean, you know, when Jesus sends<br>[03:29] out the 12 first time, he's like, I need<br>[03:31] you to be as innocent as a dove and as<br>[03:33] shrewd as a serpent. And so, I think<br>[03:35] that's true for us, too, as a church.<br>[03:37] >> Yeah. You know? Yeah. [snorts] How do<br>[03:38] you feel about s- going to go silencing<br>[03:40] NDAs where someone is told that they<br>[03:42] can't ever speak on anything even if<br>[03:44] they didn't take. Like, there's I'm<br>[03:46] hearing of like front-loaded NDAs to<br>[03:48] even work at a church.<br>[03:50] Uh I think<br>[03:52] the- there are there there is some<br>[03:54] uh<br>[03:54] information<br>[03:56] confidential information.<br>[03:57] >> Yeah, yeah.<br>[03:58] >> giving records and stuff like that. I<br>[04:00] think it would apply to those people,<br>[04:02] but in general on the front end<br>[04:04] >> Yeah. you somebody would have to explain<br>[04:06] to me why you would want to do that on<br>[04:07] the front end. Yeah. Does that make<br>[04:09] sense?<br>[04:09] >> No, absolutely. Versus like a<br>[04:10] disgruntled employee that's going to<br>[04:12] Yeah. want a severance and then also go<br>[04:15] blast you all over the place. Because<br>[04:17] the the reality is is that even if you<br>[04:19] tried to defend those things, it<br>[04:21] typically just gets worse, man. Yeah.<br>[04:22] You know what I mean? Cuz all the time<br>[04:24] the person wants to fight like that,<br>[04:25] especially online, man. My dad used to<br>[04:27] always say<br>[04:28] it's like fighting a pig. Everybody gets<br>[04:29] dirty and the pig likes it. Yeah. So,<br>[04:31] that's what they want. I've never heard<br>[04:33] of a church<br>[04:35] legally suing someone for breaching an<br>[04:37] NDA. Me either. Yeah, I think that's one<br>[04:40] of those things where it's a lot of<br>[04:41] legal stuff to try and protect the<br>[04:43] church. It optically I don't think it<br>[04:46] looks great. Like if I'm going to be<br>[04:47] honest. Like I was like, "Ooh, that<br>[04:48] doesn't look good." Um<br>[04:51] the non-disparagement, non-defamation. I<br>[04:53] understand defamation. Like don't don't<br>[04:55] defame. Disparagement, someone if<br>[04:57] someone had a bad experience, they want<br>[04:58] to talk about it. I'm not mad at that.<br>[05:00] But I do think and I've heard it from<br>[05:02] folks like, "Hey, you get fired um<br>[05:05] you're upset, you're angry, you want to<br>[05:07] go vent about it. One of the worst<br>[05:08] things you can do is hop online and<br>[05:09] start talking about something while<br>[05:10] you're still upset about something<br>[05:13] panned out." So, it's a it's a tricky<br>[05:15] thing. At the same time, I'm also like,<br>[05:16] "Man, it's not a great look to say,<br>[05:18] 'Hey, you can't speak on your experience<br>[05:20] working here.'" Yeah, but the the other<br>[05:22] thing is the church can't speak on the<br>[05:23] experience of that person working there.<br>[05:25] Mhm.<br>[05:27] Can you imagine?<br>[05:27] >> Yeah, that's true. Imagine if I just put<br>[05:29] him on blast why we fired that guy.<br>[05:30] >> [laughter]<br>[05:31] >> You know what I mean? Like, "Do you know<br>[05:32] what he said to her?"<br>[05:35] So, it sounds like you take a more<br>[05:36] nuanced nuanced take on it.<br>[05:37] >> This is this is a little This is why<br>[05:39] Listen, man, I am not the end-all be-all<br>[05:41] here to Living Stones Church. I'm the<br>[05:41] lead pastor. I'm responsible for<br>[05:43] everything. One day I'll stand before<br>[05:44] the Lord give an account. Yeah. This is<br>[05:46] why I have really smart people that work<br>[05:47] in HR and places like that to help me in<br>[05:49] areas that I am not experienced in.<br>[05:52] What I want to make sure we do is we<br>[05:54] shepherd all the folks, especially our<br>[05:56] staff.<br>[05:57] And you know, sometimes when people's<br>[06:00] season here ends, then we want to<br>[06:01] shepherd them through that. I will tell<br>[06:02] you this.<br>[06:04] We are It's almost dumb how generous we<br>[06:07] are. Even even bro, some dude does<br>[06:10] something that is clearly scripturally<br>[06:12] disqualifying and we fire him.<br>[06:17] But his wife didn't do that, man.<br>[06:19] Yeah. You know how many people we're<br>[06:20] paying right now for<br>[06:22] a year?<br>[06:23] Yeah. And their husband completely<br>[06:25] disqualified himself. I mean, he's got<br>[06:27] kids.<br>[06:29] And he sinned. Ain't no doubt about it.<br>[06:31] Or even It might not even be sin. It<br>[06:32] might just be stupid. He started down a<br>[06:33] road<br>[06:35] that was not above reproach and we don't<br>[06:37] put up with it.<br>[06:38] But man, his precious wife bro, she's<br>[06:40] hurting doubly. So, we just<br>[06:43] You rather air on the side of caution.<br>[06:45] You should Some of our more<br>[06:47] business-minded elders, you know, they<br>[06:49] kind of look at it they're like, "We're<br>[06:50] doing what? This guy did that?" I'm<br>[06:52] like, "I understand." But his wife<br>[06:55] >> Yeah. I think these are the stories that<br>[06:56] people don't hear about is is<br>[06:57] >> And you can't tell them. There's no<br>[06:58] place to tell them. Like, where do we<br>[06:59] tell them? Because we don't want to I<br>[07:01] mean, that's fine. We just take care of<br>[07:03] them. Pay for counseling, pay for<br>[07:05] restoration, pay all these kind of<br>[07:07] things, man. So, we just air on that<br>[07:09] side.<br>[07:09] >> Hopefully you enjoyed that little clip.<br>[07:11] We talked about all sorts of amazing<br>[07:13] things. And this conversation is on<br>[07:15] Patreon right now. You could support<br>[07:17] what we do here for the cost of a cup of<br>[07:19] coffee a month. And so, the link is<br>[07:21] pinned up. So, here's the trailer of our<br>[07:23] conversation. Check it out. Pastor Joby<br>[07:26] Martin. And you want some fire, I got<br>[07:28] some fire coming because fire is going<br>[07:30] to descend from heaven like tongues of<br>[07:32] fire and it's going to land on every<br>[07:34] single believer. Honestly, sometimes I<br>[07:36] can get it because the amount of pastors<br>[07:38] that just get slammed for just trying to<br>[07:40] have like normal relationships with<br>[07:41] people and then they're called abusive<br>[07:43] later, you know, I can get why somebody<br>[07:44] would incubate themselves [music] that<br>[07:46] way. NDAs in churches. I do not think<br>[07:48] it's a good idea to pay people to go<br>[07:50] trash the bride of Christ. So, no<br>[07:51] problem. Don't take the sacrament. Say<br>[07:52] whatever you want. Like if you were<br>[07:54] praying on people, you don't get to be a<br>[07:56] shepherd anymore. Period.<br>[07:57] >> Tell me more about your guys' It sounds<br>[07:59] like you guys have a code of conduct<br>[08:00] systems in place to prevent some of this<br>[08:02] stuff. What does that practically look<br>[08:03] like here?<br>[08:04] >> He's like, "Hey man, don't devote<br>[08:05] yourself to silly myths and<br>[08:06] controversies." Like, "Bro, if you're<br>[08:08] spending more time on aliens than you<br>[08:10] are in the word right now, what are you<br>[08:11] doing there?"<br>[08:12] Ruslan
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## Highlights
- trash the bride of Christ. Okay. You know? Yep. So, no problem. Don't take the severance. Say whatever you want. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01kt2m7c6jqzs5rthhpcnnyp4y))
- Note: Don't pay people to disparage the church โ if you object, decline severance and speak freely.
- Tags: atom/literature/h1
- but in general on the front end >> Yeah. you somebody would have to explain to me why you would want to do that on the front end. Yeah. Does that make sense? ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01kt2m7d6rnes4qdvakk06m0be))
- Note: Front-loaded NDAs need stronger justification than a severance-tied one.
- Tags: atom/literature/h2
- >> Yeah, that's true. Imagine if I just put him on blast why we fired that guy. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01kt2m7fqfp381wc5c250fada3))
- Note: Confidentiality creates narrative asymmetry โ the institution can't tell its side publicly.
- Tags: atom/literature/h3