Adversaries Into Allies  ## Metadata - Author: [[Bob Burg]] | [[3. Resources/Authors/Bob Burg|Bob Burg]] - Full Title: Adversaries Into Allies - Category: #books - Kindle: [Open in Kindle](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00C5R83FU) - Document Tags: [[Leadership]] ## Document Notes ## Highlights - Who is Mighty? Those who can control their own emotions and make of an enemy a friend. ([Location 162](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00C5R83FU&location=162)) - understanding that the other person will do what they are going to do for their reasons, not yours. ([Location 253](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00C5R83FU&location=253)) - you must give the other individual a personal benefit for taking action. ([Location 255](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00C5R83FU&location=255)) - Feeling good about oneself is often the most powerful motivator of all! ([Location 264](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00C5R83FU&location=264)) - “Your influence is determined by how abundantly you place other people’s interests first.” ([Location 270](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00C5R83FU&location=270)) - People who let other people take advantage of them are acting out of weakness, not out of strength, and can never be truly influential. ([Location 274](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00C5R83FU&location=274)) - All things being equal, people will do business with, and refer business to, those people they know, like, and trust. ([Location 278](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00C5R83FU&location=278)) - All things being equal, people will do business with, refer business to, and allow themselves to be influenced by those people they know, like, and trust. ([Location 281](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00C5R83FU&location=281)) - Persuasion or manipulation, commitment or compliance, power or force. Each one is an either/or. It’s a choice; it’s a mindset. It’s also a skill set. ([Location 291](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00C5R83FU&location=291)) - Control your own emotions 2. Understand the clash of belief systems 3. Acknowledge their ego 4. Set the proper frame 5. Communicate with tact and empathy ([Location 300](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00C5R83FU&location=300)) - it is so hard to reason with someone who is emotionally upset: no matter the soundness of your argument from a logical point of view, it carries no weight if it is out of keeping with the emotional conviction of the moment.” Goleman adds, and I believe ([Location 322](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00C5R83FU&location=322)) - “Feelings are self-justifying, with a set of perceptions and ‘proofs’ all their own.” ([Location 324](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00C5R83FU&location=324)) - When you can both master your emotions and help others to work effectively within theirs, your level of influence will be sky high. In section two we will explore ([Location 332](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00C5R83FU&location=332)) - That’s why the second principle of Ultimate Influence is determining how to get out of your own head and into the mind of the person you’re trying to influence. ([Location 343](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00C5R83FU&location=343)) - Your potential adversary doesn’t realize that he sees the world based on his belief system, but believes that everyone else sees the world about the same way he does. ([Location 348](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00C5R83FU&location=348)) - But the ego is nothing more than one’s sense of self. ([Location 371](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00C5R83FU&location=371)) - Yes, awareness of the ego is important. But it’s your awareness that is key. More than likely, the other person is not aware. The onus is on you. ([Location 383](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00C5R83FU&location=383)) - Set the Proper Frame ([Location 386](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B00C5R83FU&location=386)) ## Related by Author - [[3. Resources/Readwise/Books/Endless Referrals|Endless Referrals]] - [[3. Resources/Readwise/Books/The Go-Giver Influencer|The Go-Giver Influencer]]