I Refuse to Deconstruct ![rw-book-cover](https://img.youtube.com/vi/phUozLoL2DI/maxresdefault.jpg) For the last couple months, I have been waist-deep in all the controversies surrounding Bethel, everything that's been going on with the news cycle in the charismatic church. And it has been tiring. It has been difficult. And it's been even harder to see that so many have been deconstructing in the midst of it, my brothers and sisters in the faith, individuals that I know, individuals that I don't know. It's been difficult hearing the stories, stories of abuse, stories of fraud. It's been even more difficult seeing those who aren't part of the charismatic church go for the jugular, that now is the time to strike, kick them while they're down. In the midst of all of this, the deconstruction is real and I can't blame individuals for going that route. But regardless of everything that's been happening, I refuse to deconstruct. Hey everybody, welcome back to the show. My name is Donald Shrode. And again, I just want to touch base. I'll be honest with you guys, I am a little tired. It's been a long last couple months going through everything. But the fight goes on and regardless, there are things to talk about, things to navigate and I am here just for that. When I heard everything that was coming out about Bethel, it was both heartbreaking, but I also understood that it was necessary for me to use my voice. Bethel was my home for years and I learned so much from them and I really grew into the man who I am today, the pastor who I am today, the husband, the father who I am today because my life. And so, I've been accused online of using Bethel as a way to just stand on like stand on top of Bill Johnson to get accolade, to make money, uh to just make a name for myself. But that is not true. My heart in going into this is to stand up for so many that I have seen hurting, to stand up for so many that I see don't know what to do. They're lost at sea when it comes to navigating everything that's been happening because the charismatic church is large, it's massive. And Bethel has been such a point of reference for so many within the church. So, I wanted to make sure that when I shared what I've gone through, it was used to help and used to interpret. So, I think I want to say first of all that it's okay to deconstruct your belief in your systems as long as it doesn't take you away from Jesus. It's important for us to clear the rubble of doctrinal beliefs, but not to tear down the foundation who is Christ. I I see so many again that that that are deconstructing and I get it. There's real pain, there's real hurt, there's real doubt and I myself am am a fan of every 6 months auditing your faith. And I think sometimes the Holy Spirit just leads you into that direction anyways, where it's like, okay, we've been walking this out now for a number of months or number of years. Let's sit down and just reanalyze what we really think. There's a democratization of of information now with the internet. Someone described it online as the the new the new printing press, so to speak, where suddenly you know, the printing press came out and all of a sudden the Bible was available in a language that people could understand. So, uh the understandings of the church and the different facets of the facets of the church are now available for everyone to analyze and look for themselves to see what they really believe and I think that is healthy and that will bring the church into a new era. That being said, because the information is so readily available, people can analyze systems for themselves to be like, wait, does this actually match up to what scriptures say? And one of those structures that's being heavily scrutinized right now is the charismatic church. And like I said, it breaks my heart because it was the church that I was raised in. And as people analyze it and realize that there's all this fraud, there's been all this cover-up, and even worse, those who have called themselves mothers and fathers in the faith have have heavily enriched themselves from this fraud and from this cover-up. I get why so many of my peers and so many of my brothers and sisters are analyzing whether or not this is something they even want to be a part of anymore. And I get that, but deconstruction is is a spectrum, right? There there are those who are deconstructing whether or not they even want to be a part of Christianity altogether. And that is absolutely heartbreaking to hear, that it it's gotten to that point, that that's even a question in their mind. On the other side, there are simply deconstructing maybe what they believed in the certain facet or the certain denomination of the church. And I think that is healthy. I'm an advocate for that. I think you should. I think you should, like I said, always analyze and audit your faith. Does it still stand up? Does the faith in the things that you believed at 25 stand still when you're 30? The ways that your church has taught certain doctrines when you were 15, does it still fit now that you're middle-aged? Like, are you just blindly following it because the pastor at the pulpit said this is the way to do it? Or do you see it taught in scripture and can you with a good conscience adhere to it still? I think that as long as you keep asking questions and keep prodding the things that you believe, it's the best way to stress test it. It's the it's the best way to see the integrity of of what you believe. Uh that being said, there are so many individuals who have been so hurt from what Bethel has done that it seems as though they are falling away from the faith completely or their only maybe outlet of pain or therapy that they have is to go online in hopes that they see Bethel burn. And it it breaks my heart that a a faith that I imagined started out as pure has turned into something where they're in such pain that they want to see everything else hurt as well. Now, again, I'm obviously a part of the charismatic church. I'm a pastor in a charismatic church. I bring that up a lot because I think there's been a trend of people in the comment section accusing me of just trying to get fame for this, not really realizing that this is the place I call home. And um and I'm a loyal individual. But it it is completely I think in my right and I believe calling to ask or advocate for a a reformation of the of the church movement I believe in and I love. And we can go all into the weeds and and I would just be like in the middle of a digression to to to be like, well, why do you believe it in the first place? Well, what makes you think that? What makes you think this? And the truth of it is is that my deconstruction is only as far as auditing what I believe and what I believe stands still to this the this day and age, right? When it comes to the charismatic faith, cuz there has been interpretations of the Bible that I think are not right. There's been interpretations of of church doctrines that I think um they don't stand the stress test. There's been an elevation of the prophetic over a basic understanding and education in Paul's epistles. I think that there's things that all day long I can point to, but my heart isn't to just simply point out what's wrong, cause an echo chamber where everyone else in the comment section is like, yeah, get them. But there's no path forward. And so, I am refusing to deconstruct because well, Bethel was never my anchor, right? My anchor isn't a movement, it's a relationship with the Lord that exists entirely apart from Bethel. Systems and leaders fall. We see that, we know that, we're witnessing it right now. But the word is what carries me through all of the disappointment. It always has and it and it always will. The word and a relationship with the Lord. I think even when I went to first year, as formative as as Bethel has been for me, it wasn't the only stream that I was drinking from, so to speak. There was other aspects of the faith that I was learning from and growing from. Uh and after Bethel, you know, I didn't think about Bethel too much. There was different avenues again that I was reading from, different men and women in the faith that I was learning from. There was uh you know, a structured discipline that I have always advocating for, that we need to be about the spiritual disciplines. Prayer, when was the last time you opened up your Bible and read it for yourself? When was the last time you read your Bible just to meet with the Lord and learn, not to just try to get a hot point that you can debate online? And sitting down and and getting into those disciplines of reading the word and meeting with the Lord regularly, letting the word shape me. Um I always pray, Holy Spirit, refine me by your word. Having a relationship with the Lord in prayer where I receive his goodness, where I receive his love, I receive his direction, the directing of the Holy Spirit. That has become the anchor of my faith. And so, when church movements falter, as as hard and as hurtful as it is, it didn't shake me. I I've seen too much of the power of God in my life to doubt the spiritual gifts. I've seen so many videos online trying to disprove or reinterpret or or insult the gifts or or the Holy Spirit. And it's been such a difficult thing for me to watch and honestly infuriating a lot of the time because a lot of the individuals A lot of the individuals that critique so much of the Holy Spirit, critique the movements of the gifts, haven't been there when they've seen somebody who's been stuck in the new age or a cult break down on their face weeping, crying out for repentance. When the power of the Holy Spirit moves in the room and they break down crying out for God to forgive them or they cry out in love and awe and wonder of the beauty of Jesus. So, it is really hard for me to side with or or even listen to men who I doubt have even met the Holy Spirit in any sort of significant way. The truth of it is is that the critique that has come against so many individuals who have been deconstructing, so many individuals who are hurting, that so many individuals who are who are looking for a a forward in the faith because they love Jesus. They just don't know where to go. And instead of being met with love and open arms, they've been met with harshness. They've been met with bullying online. It's almost like cyberbullying in the way of of modern-day Pharisees online. Where instead of being brought home in open arms in love to be restored to a beautiful faith, they are being kicked while they are down. And again, it it hurts my heart not just as a pastor, but as a man of God. Because again, when I look into the individuals who are crying out for the burning down of the charismatic system or crying out for everybody who is apparently been deceived and the people that are hurting deserved it and the individuals who are doing this deserve to go to hell, it it really reminds me that, you know, I'm not interested in enforcing the Holy Spirit into a safe theological box. I'd rather be in the messy presence of the Spirit than in the sterile safety of a religion that has no power. And so many individuals who are trying to tear apart the charismatics who are hurting and deconstructing right now are men and women that I doubt have ever actually met the Holy Spirit. And the anger and the bitterness and the rejection that they carry in their own heart, they've spiritualized and justified as a way to try to shoot the wounded. And and I think for me, I have no patience for that and I have no room for that. And so, there's been a lot of comments in my sections, lots of hate, lots of vitriol, lots of um anger. Lots of seemingly gleeful individuals seeing the hurting that are going through the deconstruction of the fallout of the idiocy idiocy that has been displayed in movements like Bethel and the cover up culture. And I want to say is you've spent a long time writing those paragraphs and paragraphs in your comments. Um I can tell they're articulated well. There's enough m dashes to tell that you've had chat GPT write it for you to be as scathing as possible. But I want to I want you to know that when you put those comments in my comment section, the reason they're getting no likes is because you've been banned. You've been shadowbanned and no one's reading your stuff. So, the hate and the vitriol that you're spilling out is not being received by anyone. It's certainly not hurting or received being received by me and it won't be hurt won't be used to hurt anyone else one else or be received by anyone else. It'll just be left between you and uh and your comment because no one's seeing it. So, I think sometimes people cry out that there needs to be a open square in the comment section of individuals who are going through these kinds of processes and I reject that. I look at my comment section as a home and I'm hosting. And if you're polite and you're kind, you're welcome. If you have thoughtful disagreement and we want conversations, you're welcome to it. But if you're just there to try to hurt individuals or to uh discredit people who are hurting or even attack my credibility um on zero basis, uh you're not welcome and I will ask you to leave. Uh and you'll be shadowbanned. So, uh but I see a lot of individuals, like I said, who don't appear to have much of a relationship with the Holy Spirit using this as an opportunity to attack charismatics and I think my fathering heart won't have that cuz wounded believers are still believers and they deserve restoration and restoration doesn't look like mocking. Restoration looks like bringing them home. So, the point of this channel, I know the thumbnails might look spicy or whatever trying to get attention. Um but it is a way for me to reach out with the heart of trying to be a mediator in the midst of so much fallout. But also a way for me to share my heart that God is good in the midst of the storm. And I still believe in a savior who calms storms. So many people only want a savior that that creates storms um in favor of their certain theological camp. But I'm I'm a in favor of a savior who calms the storms and restores the wounded, who draws near to the brokenhearted. So, uh I guess this is a bit of a shorter video. I'm tired. >> [laughter] >> Tired for a lot of things, partly being that some of this material that we're working on. Um but there's just been a lot going on and but it's good stuff. But the truth of it is is that I have seen the power of the Holy Spirit too much in my life to ever reject him that if it came down to it, I could never not be a charismatic because I've encountered the Holy Spirit and his goodness and his love and his his redeeming I don't know, personality, his redeeming aspects too often, too regularly to ever say that it wasn't true because I disagree with Bill Johnson. Um I have seen too many individuals who weren't even looking to know the Lord, who were loving their sin, surrender, repent, and under the presence of the Holy Spirit in the room and cry out for mercy and forgiveness. I've seen the power of God heal too many individuals. Heal over and over and over again. The cessationist argument stops entirely the minute someone's broken arm gets healed. Uh I I've seen too many individuals been verified by the medical community that it was a miracle. I've seen too many times and been I'm subject to words of knowledge and words of prophecy that absolutely read my mail, that absolutely clarified different aspects of my life. And that's not to say that the Bible isn't enough that I need a prophetic word, but the Bible is the basis for strong prophetic words to lead the way. We need the logos and the rhema. You know, this video wasn't meant for me just to be advocating for the gifts of the Spirit. The gifts of the Spirit advocate for themselves. I believe that worldwide Christianity is charismatic Christianity. And when I say charismatic, I don't mean the NAR boogeyman that everybody seems to cry out for and want to hunt like it's Bigfoot. Uh I I mean that the charismata, the gifts of the Holy Spirit are active and well regardless of your theological boxes that you want to shut it down. And I think it was Spurgeon that said that the word of God doesn't mean doesn't need to be defended or maybe it was Chesterton, I forget which, but the word of God doesn't need to be defended any more than a roaring lion needs to be defended. The Holy Spirit does not to be need to be defended and the gifts of the Spirit will keep flowing regardless if you want them to stop. The aspect of of Christ and the ministry of reconciliation marches on regardless of offense. Marches on regardless of religious attitudes that would hate any emotional expression of love towards the Lord. Sometimes I think individuals are more akin to Michael hating David dancing than they are to King David dancing in worship to the Lord. I think so many individuals in the comment section are coming after those who are deconstructing are more akin to the crowd that was crying out for Barabbas instead of crying out for Christ. That you still would rather have Barabbas than you would have the risen king. Um that being said, there is always room for you to repent. There is always room for you to turn to the things of the kingdom. Turn to the things of love. Turn to the things of the Holy Spirit and his beauty and his wonder and his power to change. His power to change culture, his power to change failed charismatic church movements, his power to change lives on an individual basis. There's been too many marriages that I've seen restored, too many people coming out of homosexuality, too many people being freed of pornography, too many people who have given up the bottle instead of instead to have the drink of the Holy Spirit. There's been too many people that have been absolutely transformed and are never again the same because of the Holy Spirit, because of Christ Jesus, because of a father who loves them. And I will not reject a third of the Trinity because it fits a theological box. I will not reject who the person of the Holy Spirit is because people don't like how it looks. I will not accuse the power of the Holy Spirit changing families' lives because I think it's trendy to call it some kind of Hindu spirit, like the Kundalini spirit. Ah, yes. The Kundalini spirit, the one that hits people and makes them repent and cry out for forgiveness and love. That is not who I am. That is not what this channel is about. This channel is about reformation of the charismatic movement. It's about the message of the gospel, the good news. The power of God unto salvation for all men. It's no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. I believe that to be true. And in doing so, I am partnering with that same ministry of reconciliation he did, he started, he initiated 2,000 years ago and is being carried carried through in his bride today. And if there is an aspect of the bride of Christ that is hurting, I will not stand before the judgment throne and be accused of kicking her while she is down. I will be hopefully commended that I was a part of the solution to serve the bride unto health, unto holiness, for if not for the sake of this generation, but for the sake of my children's generation. So, that being said, this is a call to love as well. This comment section hereby today in this video, uh I want to be for encouragement and resources. I'm sure there'll be people who are crying out in anger. I'm sure there'll be more DMs by individuals who hate that I didn't exactly quote the Nicene Creed to the point. Um but let's stop the ego. All right? Before you before you comment down below in in your uh your well-meditated vitriol, let's stop the ego and let's turn the comments into a resource bank for the hurting. Uh if a healthy church or a specific book helped you heal, I want you to share it below so we can actually help each other. There's individuals who are deconstructing, they don't know where to go. Um put books down there that help, put podcasts down there that help, link videos that helped. Um if there's individuals who have come out of an unsafe church, uh the the solution isn't isolation, it's to go to a healthy church. And so if there's individuals out there who are looking for a church in an area, comment down below, I'm in such and such area, I'm looking for a new church. And I'm calling on the bride of Christ to comment back, to respond. Like, hey, I love this church, it's in the area. I'm calling on the reformed to do it, I'm calling on the charismatic to do it. This isn't a time to draw theological like lines in the sand thinking that you alone are the gatekeepers of the faith. This is a time for us to come together as believers to help each other in love. Um and your anger has no voice here. If there's orthodoxy brother brothers and sisters who want to help, amen. If there's Catholic brothers and sisters who want to help, hallelujah. Uh put your resources down there. It's time for us to to look at the the the mosaic of the faith like a potluck. Uh there's two examples there, too. Two imageries there that we can pull from. It doesn't have to be just one dish, it doesn't have to be just Lutheran, just Baptist, just Episcopalian. Brothers and sisters need each other regardless of your denominational divides. So, if you need a church, say so below, say the area you're in. And if there's individuals that see that they're in that area, put your church there. Connect. Use this as an opportunity to connect as brothers and sisters in Christ. I have a lot of brothers and sisters in Christ that aren't charismatic and I love them dearly. You don't have to just be friends with your theological agreement. It's the unity of the spirit, right? It's not not unity of the doctrine. Um if you again, yeah, put your resources down down below if you think it'll help, books, podcasts, videos. Um prayers. Put them down below and make this comment section, I don't want to say a safe safe space, I hate that woke language, but create the comment make the comment section an encouraging space for those who are hurting and those who need restoration. And together, we will move forward in health, in love, and in friendship as brothers and sisters of Christ should, cuz the day that we have to answer to our Father, we want to say that we are those who loved our siblings well. Um amen. All right, guys, if you like this video, go ahead and think about subscribing, commenting down below. Um we're looking at different ways to take this channel. I don't want this channel to be only exclusively what Bethel did wrong. >> [laughter] >> We are looking to do commentary of the church church as a whole. Um but regardless, it's the message of Christ that we want to push out there. Um to him be all the glory. So, Father, every single person that's watching this, I pray for peace, direction, encouragement, and love over them. I pray, Father God, that uh this would be a beautiful season as we enter spring right now. This will be a beautiful season of knowing you deeper, just a closer walk with you, and a closer understanding, and and deep diving into your word. And thank you, Holy Spirit. May we be a people who eagerly seek the gifts of the Holy Spirit um as we've been commanded to, and that we would seek them for the betterment of the church, and seek them uh yeah, to affirm, confirm, validate. >> [laughter] >> Um but also just to walk into the freedom that you have for us. May we pray, amen. All right, guys, think about comment, liking, and subscribing, helps the channel a ton. Love you guys, we will see you next time., I Refuse to Deconstruct, YouTube, 01knvqvkm8rr8mjmts4aw4q93f.