Setting Boundaries, Time Management, and Essentialism  ## Metadata - Author: [[Adobo & Avocados]] - Full Title: Setting Boundaries, Time Management, and Essentialism - Category: #articles - Document Note: --- tags: [#boundaries, #timemanagement, #essentialism] - #boundaries - #timemanagement - #essentialism Author: Adobo & Avocados (Podcast with Nicole and Marie) Source: YouTube – *Setting boundaries, time management, and essentialism (A&A #12)* Reference: [Transcript Link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8-33cFfPeY) date created: 2025-08-23 21:50 --- # Title: Balancing Boundaries, Time, and Essentialism ## Table of Contents: - [📝 Summary](#-summary) - [📖 Main Content](#-main-content) - [🗒️ Notes](#️-notes) - [📖 References](#-references) - [🗣️ Paraphrase](#-paraphrase) - [📰 Newsletter](#-newsletter) - [✅ Action Items](#-action-items) - [🧪 Hypotheses](#-hypotheses) - [📊 Methodology](#-methodology) - [❓ Questions](#-questions) - [🔮 Future Research](#-future-research) - [💡 Implications](#-implications) - [🧠 Learning Styles Assessment](#-learning-styles-assessment) - [📊 Accessibility Assessment](#-accessibility-assessment) - [🌍 DEIB Assessment](#-deib-assessment) - [✅ Logical Validity](#-logical-validity) - [🔍 DARVO Analysis](#-darvo-analysis) - [🔍 SEO Evaluation](#-seo-evaluation) - [🎯 Conclusion](#-conclusion) --- ## 📝 Summary: The episode explores **essentialism**—choosing what’s truly important—while contrasting it with minimalism. The hosts emphasize how too many choices, hustle culture, and social pressures complicate decision-making and well-being. They argue for setting **boundaries**, defining **core principles**, and leveraging **time management techniques** (calendar blocking, day theming, Pomodoro). They also touch on **financial essentialism**, advocating tools like spreadsheets and YNAB to focus on spending aligned with values. Ultimately, essentialism means saying no to the trivial many and yes to the vital few. --- ## 📖 Main Content: The conversation blends personal anecdotes (burnout, parenting, speaking engagements) with practical strategies to reclaim focus. Key themes include: - Essentialism vs minimalism (focus on what to keep, not what to cut). - The paradox of choice leading to analysis paralysis. - Recognizing trade-offs and opportunity cost in every decision. - Societal pressures, especially on women, to “do it all.” - Practical tools for boundary-setting (e.g., scripted no-responses, company-wide rules). - Calendar blocking, day theming, and reclaiming peak creative hours. - Extending essentialist principles into financial management. ### 🗒️ Notes - [00:07](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8-33cFfPeY&t=7) Hosts discuss burnout and family obligations. - [03:05](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8-33cFfPeY&t=185) Essentialism framed as focusing on what to keep, not just reducing. - [07:55](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8-33cFfPeY&t=475) Productivity ≠ busyness; only the right things matter. - [10:31](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8-33cFfPeY&t=631) Too many choices → paralysis. - [15:34](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8-33cFfPeY&t=934) Trade-offs and opportunity cost in time management. - [17:59](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8-33cFfPeY&t=1079) Women face dual professional/domestic pressures. - [24:46](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8-33cFfPeY&t=1486) Writing down personal core principles aids focus. - [29:20](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8-33cFfPeY&t=1760) “If it isn’t a clear yes, it’s a clear no.” - [31:28](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8-33cFfPeY&t=1888) Using espanzo app for automated polite “no” responses. - [35:55](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8-33cFfPeY&t=2155) Drop sunk-cost commitments to regain focus. - [44:53](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8-33cFfPeY&t=2693) Calendar blocking as superior to to-do lists. - [49:17](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8-33cFfPeY&t=2957) Tech stack: Google Calendar + Reclaim.ai + Calendly. - [55:39](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8-33cFfPeY&t=3339) Day theming and batching for productivity. - [57:45](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8-33cFfPeY&t=3465) Creativity peaks at different times for different people. - [1:01:56](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8-33cFfPeY&t=3716) Financial essentialism through budgeting apps/spreadsheets. --- ## 📖 References: - Greg McKeown, *Essentialism* - Derek Sivers, *Hell Yeah or No* - Oliver Burkeman, *4,000 Weeks* - YNAB (You Need a Budget) app --- ## 🗣️ Paraphrase: 1. Original: “Productivity is a trap. Automating tasks just leads me to fill time with more non-essential work.” **Paraphrase**: Efficiency doesn’t guarantee meaning; free time often gets consumed by low-value tasks. 2. Original: “If it isn’t a clear yes, it’s a clear no.” **Paraphrase**: Ambivalence shouldn’t become obligation; hesitation signals that the task isn’t truly essential. --- ## 📰 Newsletter: 🌱 **Boundaries, Burnout & the Beauty of Essentialism** Ever feel like your to-do list is running your life? Nicole and Marie from *Adobo & Avocados* remind us that **busyness isn’t the same as productivity**. Their latest episode tackles essentialism—choosing what really matters. Highlights: - Why too many choices cause paralysis. - How to politely (and efficiently) say no with tools like *espanzo*. - The magic of calendar blocking, day theming, and reclaiming peak creative hours. - Applying essentialism to finances with spreadsheets or YNAB. 🎧 Watch here → [YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8-33cFfPeY) --- ## ✅ Action Items: - Apply **essentialist principles** to WordPress contributor onboarding: focus on meaningful contributions, not volume. - Leverage **automation** (e.g., templated responses, calendars) to protect contributor well-being. - Advocate for **clear rules/agreements** in OSS communities (e.g., enforced rest days, contribution boundaries). - Align essentialist frameworks with **OSPO goals**: prioritize core governance over scattered side projects. - Promote **financial essentialism** in OSS: sustainable funding models should prioritize essentials, not vanity projects. --- ## 🧪 Hypotheses: - Automated boundary-setting (templates, policies) reduces burnout. - Calendar blocking increases alignment between time spent and values. - Essentialist OSS governance improves project sustainability. ### 📊 Methodology: - Survey contributors on burnout vs. boundary practices. - Time-tracking studies before/after calendar blocking adoption. - Case studies of OSS projects adopting essentialist governance. ### ❓ Questions: - How can essentialism counteract OSS hustle culture? - Could day theming apply to contributor days in WordPress? - What trade-offs exist when enforcing strict contribution limits? ### 🔮 Future Research: - Essentialism in distributed teams. - Neurodiverse approaches to time-blocking. - Financial essentialism applied to open source sustainability. ### 💡 Implications: - Moves OSS culture away from “do everything” volunteerism. - Encourages healthier, more equitable contributor engagement. --- ## 🧠 Learning Styles Assessment: - **Visual**: Present (calendar demos, metaphors); could add infographics. - **Aural**: Podcast format supports auditory learners. - **Verbal**: Strong narrative & analogies. - **Kinesthetic**: Present (try Pomodoro, day theming); could add worksheets. - **Logical**: Strong—opportunity cost, trade-offs. - **Social**: Medium—discussion-based, could invite community reflection. - **Solitary**: Strong—core principles journaling. - **Naturalistic**: Absent—no nature-based analogies. --- ## 📊 Accessibility Assessment: - Screen reader: transcript present, but timestamps lack descriptive alt-text. - Keyboard nav: N/A (YouTube transcript). - Contrast: Good. - Text resizing: Transcript scales fine. **Improvements**: Add structured alt-text for timestamps, provide audio summaries. --- ## 🌍 DEIB Assessment: - **Cultural Relevance**: Global (Philippines, Canada, Europe). - **Inclusive Language**: Neutral, accessible. - **Neurodiversity Support**: Structured tips (Pomodoro, blocking) useful. - **Representation**: Women’s pressures discussed explicitly. - **Psych Safety**: Supportive tone. - Summary: The text discusses the importance of setting boundaries and managing time effectively. It emphasizes focusing on what is essential and prioritizing tasks to increase productivity. The author shares strategies for making meaningful choices and maintaining personal boundaries. - URL: https://youtube.com/live/R8-33cFfPeY?si=EJPRbLHq_GPcbJf7 hey everyone welcome back to another episode of adobo and avocados um we haven't done an episode for such a long time oops we were both busy yeah so I think the last time was yeah the one with Lavina about you know like being a new parent and that was three weeks ago so it's been a long time but we're back we're back yeah I'm doing a towel first Nicole like anything that you've been up to anything you want to share um I think what have I been doing I've been traveling a bit and I've also taken some leave which is appropriate for what we're talking about and also I started grafana office hours which is a new live stream for work so that's also been taking up some time um yeah I think there's nothing really big for for me to report um just honestly try since this is the venue for it I've been burned out recently and I'm trying to find I'm trying to claw my way back out of that yeah how about you um so like similar thing I was on leave as well um I think it was quite common like for August because it's like you know the summer holidays um with kids you know like breaking up from school as well uh we visited family um in uh Toronto so we stayed there for two weeks I had a lot of Filipino food uh my cousin she baked pandesal from scratch oh I missed that it was so good yeah like and then she even made the breadcrumbs um you know from scratch so it was really good um so yeah August was really just about you know spending time with family as well because my nephews they haven't you know met my daughter so that was their first time uh meeting them and it was great for you know Gabby as well um to see some of my family uh but other than that there was a conference um as well so I was speaking at Lambda test uh Sesame conference um and yeah mainly it uh that's that's you know mainly mainly it and I think it's good that you know we don't um really put the pressure on us to always you know do an episode of adobe and avocado sweetly because you know we acknowledge that we also have other things going on and that's okay there's this is a theme for this whole episode right but there's always something like I've never had a moment where I thought I'm not doing enough or I don't have enough choices of things to take up my time there's always something yeah so um today's episode so um it's sort of you know broken down into I guess like three different themes so we've got setting boundaries time management and essentialism um so I was thinking like maybe we could start you know talking about what essentialism is because I know this was something new that you know I recently discovered you recommended me uh the book and I actually finished reading the book of essentialism last week so you know this would be a great opportunity for us to talk about you know the book what is it about like what's you know who is an essentialist and what are the principles I guess behind it um so do you want to start do you want to maybe talk about what you know essentialism is sure I I came to essentialism from minimalism and minimalism is about doing it basically it's less is more and I always had some issues with it because I felt that sometimes and not every time right like some people do it in a healthy way but some other times I felt like it was almost an obsession with reducing itself like with having less and you know as a person I don't want to have less I want to have more I want I want Max the maximum enjoyment that I can possibly have out of life the maximum meaning out of any activity and there was something about minimalism that really rubbed me the wrong way because its focus is on having less and I know as opposed to It's supposed to say that you know having less meat let's gives you room and space for for more in your life but I just never got I never became okay with that idea so I thought essentialism when I found it was much more my style because essentialism is kind of similar to minimalism in that it does prompt you to examine what what you want in your life and what you don't but the focus and maybe it's semantic or maybe it's just a Nuance but for me it's an important Nuance that the focus is on the things that you choose to keep not on the things that you're reducing so essentialism is about identifying what are the things that are essential that are actually important in your life what are the things that you cannot do without and getting clear on those and getting clear on what are all the other things that you actually don't need and getting rid of those yeah um what really struck me about essentialism is you know this focus on um it's not really about you know getting more things done but it's about getting the right things done because I think um you know people they have this tendency to um view being busy is similar to being productive like um if if for example we uh we you know recap you know today's um events and you're like oh my gosh I was so busy I did this I did this I did this but then how many of those things are actually essential to you know what you want like some of those things could just be you know noises or it could just be um you know things that like really distract you from you know what is the most essential oh I think Nicole is Frozen oops sorry about that I'm back yeah yeah sorry I missed you I missed you for a couple seconds um no I was just basically saying that um you know people we used to mix up being busy yes you know it's similar with being productive and if you I don't know recap your day and you reflect the things that you've done for that day how many of those things are actually essential to you know what you want or to you know what is important to you because a lot of things are you know probably like noises or you know distractions and when I read this book that's when I'm like really realizing that there are many things that you know I do as well that aren't really essential to you know where I want to go so I need to start focusing on you know reducing those and focusing on the things that you know really matter yeah and I think um the next book that I'm going to recommend to you is called 4 000 weeks I might have already mentioned and it was very similar to along the same lines as this that productivity is a trap yeah and I think I really fall into this because I you know I have a YouTube channel about productivity and I always fall into this automation mindset of like you know I need to get things automated so that I don't have to think about it and I don't have to do as much manually and that's true it does get me to that point the problem is I don't stop there I'm like oh now I have this free time because I'm not doing things manually let me take on more things that's the problem because that more isn't actually essential and this essentialism book is something that I reread you know regularly since I started since I first read it because I need that reminder not to not to always seek more yeah so I wonder if now is the perfect time to discuss like um what is it about you know I guess the notion that the more things we do the more you know productive the more better it is um because I guess there's you know like a few issues that you know essentialism is trying to you know tackle um so like from reading the book um like the first issue is like in today's life and I guess like even before but I guess it's much more um like prevalent now is there's too much choices so Greg was talking about you know these Paradox of choice um and do you remember like when we were young like we only really have a few channels and like back in the Philippines we only have channel two channel five channel seven uh but now like you know there's so many like streaming softwares like you know subscriptions as well like it's not just enough to have Netflix but you also need to have you know Disney Plus or prime or you know something else and there's just so much choices um so any sort of I don't know thoughts around that like why having too much choices is actually harmful I feel very strongly that this is one of my core issues that I am very I'm averse to shutting down choices and shutting down options when it comes down to it I will always choose naturally instinctively I will always choose the way that preserves the most number of choices and part of that is like a like a self-defense mechanism because if one if you choose one choice and then it doesn't work out or something you can always pivot to the other and that's what I'm thinking the problem is that now I mean we're we're privileged anyone who's watching this is privileged we have Internet you know we we are we are we have a a good enough lifestyle that we can afford to be here watching YouTube you know um and many people are working in Tech where we have higher than average salaries and all that is great great for some things but on the choice front it means that there's never been a time ever where we didn't have as where we had more choices than we do now and it's not just what shirt am I gonna wear it's like do I want to live in this country because as a remote worker I could move anywhere in Europe but we're both in Europe you know some of us are not in the EU but we're both in Europe and we could just go to I don't know the Czech Republic we could live there that is a choice you know or we could move to another continent or we could change jobs or like there's so much and the internet has really shown us that the borders are coming down and that's not all positive because you can go into analysis paralysis where you just go through all of the options and are unable to fully commit to any of them in addition yeah and I think this is where Greg you know is really um like sharing with us that you know because of this abundance of choices like I think you you know like yourself you need to you know focus on um like I guess weeding out um things that are you know not really important because I think there was a quote that he said that um you know essentialism is about distinguishing like the many um is it the many trivial with the vital view something like that um so you know with all these choices like you have to like really actively you know read out the things that okay I think this is you know distraction or I think this isn't you know aligned to like my core value so yeah I think it's an it's an active you know like activity that I guess you have to always um you know do so that you don't get you don't end up in this analysis paralysis that um you just shared um the next issue that um Greg pointed out was um there seems to be this um idea that you know we can have it all like you know the I guess there's a lot of emphasis on things like the hustle culture like that you get rewarded if you work harder if you stay up late if you work you know seven days a week things like that um and you know there's like entrepreneurs out there that you know are actively you know vocal about you know this hustle culture um garyvee you know he's um he's one of them and um maybe you know for some it's a good thing but I think like in the long run um the hustle culture is you know gonna I guess end up you know um giving you more negatives rather than you know the positive um because it's it's like if if you think about it it's like you know you're allowing yourself to work as much as hard but for what reason like there's other trade-offs that you know like there there are always trade-offs so if you I guess like focus on you know doing a lot of things in like certain areas like how is that gonna impact your health how is that gonna impact your personal relationships you know your family relationships so every choice that you make it has like a trade-off um so that's that's also one I guess one issue that essentialism is like trying to to tackle yeah in economics we have this idea of the opportunity cost so in economics when you talk about the cost of something you don't just think about the cost the price to buy that thing you also talk about what else you can't buy instead of it and that to me is is really powerful and something that we can I think we should think about more because every time we say yes to something we are saying no to something else because otherwise I think the problem is that sometimes we have a list of tasks or projects that are endless like we never run out of things to do and we're comparing that to something we're trying to fit that into something that is limited that is finite which is you know things like time or effort or mental energy and it's not fair to draw that comparison because one is Limitless and so at some point you're going to have to acknowledge that you do need to set some sort of limits otherwise it's you're just never going to get through it and it's not a realistic way to live yeah I think Greg also mentioned something along the lines of if you don't control your life someone else will and that's a really powerful statement because you know if you're not I don't know like doing something or like you know making decisions um and you know you're just letting someone else make those decisions for you then you know they're controlling your life they're controlling how your day-to-day looks like how your weekly schedule is like and back to the 4 000 weeks book on average we only have 4 000 weeks so you like we really have to I guess be careful of like like you said like saying yes to everything because every time we say yes that's you know a no to something else and that something else can be much more important you just don't know it um and then the other one I think it's it's it's it's related to this idea that you can have it all it's just you know this social pressure um and I can totally relate to this because I was listening to um this podcast and like I guess you know being a woman there's this maybe the the um the social pressure nowadays that okay we're you know working uh but then there's the social pressure that you know we also need to be like a good you know Homemaker we have the social pressure that yeah you need to learn how to cook you need to do this you need to be good at you know doing stuff and this just boils down to you know a lot of like societal like expectations you know that people might have and not being careful with that again it can lead to you know not knowing what is essential um because I think this is where you also need to understand that if you spent a lot of you know energy in like one part like we can't really have it also you know there's no point in trying to juggle like everything at once because at the end like we're not gonna be able to do a you know a um like a great job so you need to you know focus on what is and what is essential so for example um with me my Essential is you know I need to be like uh stimulated I need to be learning you know a lot of things at work and then at the same time from you know like like family or you know like my relationship with my daughter that is also important so I make sure to you know set a clear boundary as to when work finished so I can you know spend that you know time with uh with my daughter and you know with like family and friends as well so um yeah I think that's that's also maybe one one issue um that I think is is very you know like um what's that word like it's very um like push into us that you know there's this expectation that you need to be good at this that you need to you know uh be excellent in like a different area while you're also juggling like other things yeah I I think that that's really difficult because it's it's it's easy to say oh you should only focus on things that are important but figuring out what actually is important or essential to you that's that's not always a very straightforward process because everything is important in the right context everything can be important in the right context yeah and it's like for example if I if I say I want to learn German is it important well I do believe strongly in the value of learning a language yeah but is it essential now it so it's like it's not just is it essential but it's also is it essential for me right now right here it's like it's there's a presence to it because it might be essential in the future if I move to Germany then it's going to be essential you know but but for now in in within this context it's not yeah and I think an example that I want to share is um back then like when I was starting out you know my public speaking um Journey like my personal brand I remember saying yes to everything um and like it was so hard for me to you know say no to some events and obviously that had you know some some negative like ramifications so now obviously like we still you know do a lot of like conference speaking but I've actually turned down um a few of them I've turned down one event um this month even though it is important but again you know asking that question is it actually essential for me at this moment because I already have you know a few conferences that I have to plan you know we're doing a talk together like something like um like a um a topic that we haven't like obviously we've talked about in this um in this like live stream but we haven't done it in a conference so um I need to you know Focus um on that so um whereas I guess me like a couple of years ago would just say yeah yeah that's fine I'll just you know um I'll just try and fit that you know to my busy working schedule already um so yeah it's it's it's good because at least now I'm aware that yep I can't be present at all times and you know that's perfectly fine um I'd rather you know give 100 to something rather than you know not really great amount of efforts and and I'm already spread out um too thin yeah um something that I maybe I'll I'll just share it is one way that I start to think about what is actually essential for me I mean I don't always I'm not saying that I'm great at this but this is one way that I've found is helpful and it is to list to have a list of my core principles in life as a person what do I value the most and and here is my note on this this is actually public because it's just um it's it's just a bunch of of principles that I've identified are important to me that I'm not saying are important to everyone for example learning in public is one of them and then I also say like what it looks like when I'm practicing this and what it doesn't what it looks like when I'm not practicing this um so essentialism is is one of them and it talks about routinely assessing people and basically everything in my life honesty and authenticity and so this list it's just a handful of things that I really prize in myself that the this is what I'm working towards and they're not like oh I want a nice house or a a kind husband or kind partner it they're they're more basic than that I'm trying to get at something that is more about me more abstract and what I do is when I create my yearly objectives so I have like okrs so I have yearly and then at work we do quarterly and then I also do monthly weekly daily and and in all of those I have this note embedded in them because every at every point I want to be assessing like is this project something that's going to make me compromise on the things that I've identified are important to me because if that's the case then maybe I shouldn't be doing it yeah oh this is perfect um you've inspired me like to also this is like core principles written down because um I think I know what is essential but again having it written down and you know if you're being pulled into you know this project then you just have to refer to it and say okay this isn't you know essential or this isn't part of you know my core principles I'll say no to this opportunity so having this constant reminder and what's great about this is you know you can always um like update it like if you have yeah or if there's something else that I guess doesn't work anymore then you can just remove it from uh from that note so yeah that's that's a really good one yeah I just think it's it's like um requirements traceability you know how you start with the requirement before you start to write the test cases and everything needs to be linked like if there's a user story or an epic or and then you you create different um things different tasks like day-to-day nitty-gritty tasks from that they should all be linked somehow because you need to you need to be able to pull back at any point and think why am I doing this again like what what was I going for yeah so um maybe now we can expand on like some of the principles that um that Greg explored because I've I've written a few as part of my notes so um I think we've already talked about you know the first principle which is like The Power of Choice um again when you know we don't um you know try to have this power then um other people will just um determine like what is important or what should be part of our day-to-day so um this is a really important you know principle uh because you know if you have the power of you know making choice you know for yourself that um basically removes you know other people like doing it for you so um I guess yeah that's uh that's a really important one and then the other principle and this is what I need to practice more is this value of extreme criteria so um one quote that he said is if it isn't a clear yes then it's a clear no but then like sometimes you still you know think okay well it's not it's it's a maybe so it could be a yes um and then some people will have certain expectations and then next thing you know you're being pulled into something because you've said maybe or you've said or like you haven't you know said yes but you also haven't said no another book oh there's another book that I wonder if if he was referencing it's by someone named Derek sivers it's called hell yeah or no and the premise is that if it's not a hell yeah then it should be a no and he says refuse almost everything do almost nothing but the things that you do do them all the way yeah that's I really like that as well yeah because like imagine if someone said to you maybe like instantly like our brain just interprets that as yes and in your head you're probably thinking oh I should have just said no because then this you know expectation has you know suddenly come up and maybe we could do that from the other side too like when we're approaching someone and saying hey do you want to do this with me here's a new project I'd really like your help on I think at least for me when when I sense hesitation my initial my tendency is to try to convince them you know and there might be cases where maybe they just didn't have the information or you didn't express it right but I think sometimes we have to take that maybe as a no and this has to do with consent as well like it used to be no means no but these days it's more about affirmative consent and that's a much more that's a much Kinder way to do it where it's not no means no it's Yes means yes so until you get that yes treat it as a no mm-hmm so that's one way where we can be respectful of other people's boundaries yeah that is yeah that is true um the other principle is again this reality of you know trade-off so we've already um covered this because um if we're doing you know one thing this means that we're letting go of you know something else so we have to always you know I guess measure um every opportunity or like every um you know time that we say yes against like the trade-offs that you know can occur um so that we're making sure that we're you know I guess like choosing the right things um to focus on um and this other principle is about you know the power of saying no so again we've already um touched on about this like I think I think I'm I think I'm getting better with this like obviously there's still some situations where it's difficult for me to say no but I'm much better now compared to like a few years back I have a practical suggestion and this is a bit like Show and Tell I didn't expect to show this um I have this I have this free open source app that I use called espanzo and it is basically a keyboard shortcut manager um but what I like about it is I I can I can Define all of these Replacements so I have things that I say a lot you know hi there let me know or thanks yeah but what has been really important is the no because I've been I have some things for no that I like I think about questions that I'm often asked yeah and then I craft the note so one is like do you offer consulting services but specifically for obsidian and I and sometimes people ask really nicely of course I'm flattered that they're not to hire me but I just can't and so I have this replacement so I I say no in a nice way and why and then I recommend other people or there's like this no sorry one so the way it works is I just do that and it's like a nice line single line that I don't have to think about because for me seeing no is harder mentally if I have to say no it's going to take me longer to reply to you because I don't want to hurt you I don't want to say no it's not pleasant you know or like another thing is for um for sponsorships like sometimes I get approached for people who want to sponsor a video on my YouTube channel and I you know almost 100 of the time say no I do it a lot but it sucks to have to craft a new reply every time so now I just have this so I would say no spawns product name let's say and then it automatically you know it it has a nicer um little note so I'm not just saying no you know and it says I don't believe it's a good fit and things like that so this has helped me because I no longer have to think about the no yeah oh my God you have to you have to show this to you how how you set it out yeah because um it's very common like you know especially with like conference like it's like conferences and every time I you know want to reply no I have to you know craft this message as to why and then I have to recommend a few people but doing that like it really sucks because I'm like turning down an opportunity whereas if I just you know type the shortcut it's not going to be as difficult because like mentally um you know you're just I guess like you're already using like an existing um template so it's you know much easier and it you know it makes saying no um much easier so you need to show this to me how it works yeah sure I actually just um posted in the comments a video that I've made about this app it's so cool it's open source so it's really great who's the single developer that's doing it and you can set all of these templates in in plain text yeah oh that's really nice um yeah anyway let's move on yeah there's so many things that I want to do after after this um but yeah the the other principle is around this momentum of uh Focus um and Greg recommends that if you already feel that you know you're spread out um you know too thin then it's time to let go of you know some commitments because I guess like you know we have this tendency to um um like if if we already know that we're not getting much out of it it's like this song um course like fallacy but we've already [Music] um you know like um given a lot of effort to give given a lot of resources then we feel obligated to continue doing it uh but it's actually not giving us any value um so Greg recommends to yep it's time to let those go um it is hard and you know like even like even with me like if I if I'm doing something that I've already done like routinely but then if I feel that what's what's the point of me doing this like do people actually care that I do this it's just in my head that yep I have to let this thing go because it's not really giving you know any value at all yeah it's the the regular reviews it's like the retrospective in the agile world that's so important because if you set the like for example that's why I have my core principles embedded into every every check-in point you know every day you know week month quarter year those are front of mind because if I created them but I never looked back at them then it's really of limited use yeah gosh this this episode is so useful um and then principle is about the importance of clarity so um Greg said that um essentialists they say no to 90 of the opportunities that that you know come their way I think he gave an example about um about Warren um you know Buffet about his wealth comes from um like 90 of his wealth comes from like 10 of investment so he's really careful on you know saying yes to every investment opportunity that you know comes along and the um you know the good thing that obviously has come out of that is you know Warren obviously is very you know successful you know very rich so he's focus on you know those 10 of his Investments and he's you know giving like all of his energy rather than like I guess looking at other smaller Investments that have been offered to him so yeah yeah I think that is an important thing on on this front on Clarity is the is that I can't oversell how important therapy is and introspection and just really thinking about what you want and who you are and you know what you think you want might be different from from how you've been behaving and then when there's that dissonance it's important to dig into that and I really think that you know it might sound a bit woo-woo to like to have this journey of discovering yourself but it is essential to being a good worker and a productive person too and having a meaningful life because there's no point not being realistic about who you are yeah yeah and again um that it all comes down to you know this idea not this idea but you know this realism that we only have one life so you know we might as well make it like meaningful and you know close to um like our you know like core values and principles rather than what people are expecting of us and I know in you know again this is easier said than done especially in you know different cultures or like different expectations but yeah it's it's one of those things that yeah this is this is the only chance that you get in live so you should really you know make the most out of it and focus on the essentials yeah and I guess the next step once you are clear on on what you want and what is essential the next step is putting that into action which is I I don't know if you maybe this is where we can talk a bit about boundaries yeah yep I think yeah um again like we've we've talked a healthy amount of you know setting boundaries on like previous episodes as well because um again with all these things like it's always easier you know said than done so you really need to come up with you know some action planner you need to come up with you know some like strategy on you know how you you know say no to like other stuff um do you want to start first like what are some um things that you've done on you know how you have set um boundaries and not just work but like you know personal boundaries as well yeah so I I also want to bring up I want to expand it a little bit and talk about the difference between boundaries agreements and rules because I think on all three of those levels we are going to have to set limits if we want to stick to what's essential so with a boundary to me a boundary is something that you set for yourself so boundary is you communicating what you are going to be willing to do or to not do so that doesn't affect anyone else unless they want to deal with you you're just saying hey if you want this from me then this is what I need or these are the circumstances that I would give it to you in and that could be like my time on a project and you need to be able to have those conversations with people and communicate them so you can say for example in your case you you said to us hey I I have a young daughter there maybe times when I have to I have to not be on video or not be able to attend a call or something because she's running in the background and has an emergency or whatever that's a boundary for you that we respect it's not really restricting what we do it's just we have to know that that is part of working with you and then there's agreements and Agreements are more like their limits that all everybody involved has agreed to things like how we've decided as a team but also as a company that if someone is on leave that that we should all try to encourage them not to work you know sometimes things happen where we forget someone's on leave that's different but we all agree that we that everyone deserves to have time off and we're not going to be nagging someone unless it's really really urgent which is I don't think it has ever actually happened that's an agreement and you have to make those agreements with the people that you're working with in order to be able to defend what is essential to you and then there's rules and rules are one-sided they're things that are just kind of take it or leave it and it might sound drastic but an example of this are company policies for example we have a company policy that we have uh on a global shutdown day once every quarter which is actually next Friday and um that's a rule that the company has said and it's arbitrary it's not our arbitrary it is one-sided it's unilateral in that they have said it and everyone just has to follow sometimes those are necessary so that people don't say like oh well you know I I know it was supposed to be my time off but this other person is working so I feel like I need to work no it's a rule that you need to follow and to be able to defend what is essential for everybody on an individual level we have to have these three layers working in tandem yeah I haven't thought of it like that because but yeah like what you mentioned about you know the key differences between boundaries agreements and rules like it all makes sense um because I guess like you setting a boundary um some people you know might not respect that and this is where you know maybe having like clear agreements can you know enforce um that specific boundary um and you know like similar with the rules as well so these are yeah these are really great and I think part of that is time management um yeah and for me I I get asked a lot like what what do what does my to-do list look like because I talk a lot about productivity and the thing is I don't use to-do lists because they don't work for me and I think that's because of what I said earlier that they're never ending and my time is not never ending and lists also treat all tasks the same as if they had the same priority and the same duration and the same amount of mental energy required you know or emotional energy and so I the way that I do it that I enforce my boundaries is through a form of time boxing I do calendar blocking everything gets put into my calendar whether it's a meeting or just like a date with myself for self-care or like if I I have I have a calendar meeting for meditate education for example every day and I find that if I don't put it on my calendar then one it doesn't get done but two also I kind of forget all the other things like how much things take up because you know when you accept a project like I'm okay I I agree to speak at your conference well yeah I actually the speaking part is like what an hour at most that's not the part that takes up a lot of time you have to like for research and then block time for working on the slides and then block time for rehearsing block time for travel to the conference block time for the rest of the conference it's a lot and if you're not blocking out every bit of that I just think it's really hard to hold that in your head that like oh I said yes to this thing that's one hour but really it's a month you know it could be yeah I I preach also about you know this like calendar blocking and this is something that I have been doing um you know a lot like most recently um and even things like going to the gym I now add it to my calendar and you know this is for a really great reason so an example that I can think of is like today like after our episode I've got a few minutes break and then I'm going to attend a gym class because to me prioritizing my health um is also an essential you know part of who I am um someone tried to um book um reschedule a meeting and I just you know kindly said um icon because I already have you know some um activity and I know the activity is not work related but like I can always you know like catch up like async with them and ask hey what did I miss is there anything important you know for me to to do one because um if I you know end up not going to you know this gym class then again that's one thing that I haven't really um like stayed good to myself because to me like being active like trying to be healthy and keeping fit is one of the essential that I try to live by so yeah time blocking um really works um I am doing like a book writing as well so now I put a um time in my calendar even if it's like outside my working hours like after you know Gabby's gone to sleep I'll block like an hour or like two hours of you know my time just to focus on book writing and so this way I don't have to panic like at the end of the month to still know to say that oh my gosh I have to write like 20 pages so at least if I'm doing tiny bits a day and you know it's all Block in my calendar then you know that's that's one way of like managing you know my time because we all get the same 24 hours a day like you know no one's getting extra hours so it's really just about how you manage and like prioritize your time I think maybe we should mention some specifics as well because it really helped me and it took me a while to come up with this like calendar scheduling stack for me it's Google Calendar because I've tried many other calendars but Google Calendar unfortunately I would like to get out of Google but it's still the best it's easy to share like you know we both have Partners I share it with mine and that way he also knows what I'm doing and when I'm busy and when I'm free and um and also Google Calendar is great for the synchronization between work and personal through the next app which is reclaim.ai which I know you use as well reclaim is like an AI assisted uh scheduling tool where you can it kind of moves around things that can be moved around so you tell it what needs to be done by what point but some sometimes like I think if I if I have a meeting that has to occur at a specific time I'll book it on my calendar as a meeting but if it's like a task where I need to get this done this week but whether I do it at 9am today or at 2 p.m tomorrow it's not that important um I give reclaim that those that criteria and then reclaim just kind of moves things around depending on what I actually got done and then the third part that I think you also use says calendly so calendly links into replay well through Google Calendar and also um please reclaim kind of indirectly and lets people let you send a link to people and have them book a time with you taking into account not just meetings but also the tasks yeah um yeah these are these are all great tools um calendly again something that I've used a lot because I find it easier like just to share that link to people because rather than me saying to them hey you know what's your availability like I'll just tell them okay we can catch up feel free to book it and I always keep my calendar up to date so at least I know that if they try to book something with me it's you know like a a time that I'm not you know that busy or a time that's free so yep I recommend calendly and they have the free version it's just you know the one that I'm using is the free version they obviously have like the paid version where you can try to add like multiple like calendar integration but like for the most part it yeah it really does the job um apart from time blocking because I know like some people they also talk about the Pomodoro Technique have you tried using that um not using but have you tried doing that where you work for 25 minutes on interrupted and then five minutes to take a break and then you do the same thing yeah I I have tried that as well sometimes it works especially if there's something that I'm like resisting I find that starting just helps um but once I get started I like a longer Pomodoro like maybe 45 minutes and then 15 minutes break or or even an hour and a half and then a half an hour or something like that um yeah it depends it depends what I'm getting into so I I do do that but I also do like day theming sometimes um have you have you done that no but I've read that from the um essentialism book I think he gave um an example of it was Jack Dorsey the ex CEO um of Twitter where he have like the he has like different themes of you know what he wants to focus on on a daily basis I haven't done it um so yeah what what are your thoughts around yeah day theming so it's been helpful for me to to have some themes like Friday for me is is a day where for like for social media and also live streams because because I often have two live streams on that day so I already know that that day I'm I'm a little like I can't start on a coding project or something I just feel like I'm always thinking later I'm checking my watch like is it time to get ready you know do I look presentable so I only like get presentable on that day and then I do other things so I'll record my my you my personal YouTube videos on that day as well and then I'll also schedule some even social meetings on that day so it's like all in the one thing so I'm in the frame of mind of like talking to people and connecting to people and not so much coming up with new ideas but like drawing it out of people and having a conversation and then for example Mondays and Thursdays are are no meeting days for me so those are the days where I plan like I on Mondays I I plan what I'm going to do in the videos I plan what I'm gonna do in the live streams I plan the rest of the week you know I I do a lot of like what did I say I wanted to do like reviews for objectives you know and then Thursdays are usually deep work days where I'm starting something new and I just have the entire day to not be on video yeah so that's helpful for me as well do you do yeah um or something like that um I have tried Pomodoro um and I like I think similar with you I would like a much longer um time so I haven't really stopped with the 25 minutes um like 45 minutes yeah an hour um so I've I've tried that and it does work so I guess yeah as long as it works for you it doesn't matter how long um it is um but yeah it's important to always you know take that break um after you've done a sauce it's it's quite similar with the exploratory testing you know like time boxing sessions yeah so make sure that you know you've stopped after um this set of time and then you know you don't continue or you try to explore something else so I um I have um I have tried that approach but the day teaming yeah that's probably something that I might explore because um I know with work there are like you know couple of certain areas that I want to you know focus on so it could be writing and that could you know be religious a day focus on like writing and then a day focus on like the uh videos so even with the Adobe and avocados like maybe we can move it to a different day or something like that yeah that's that's something that have piqued my interest definitely even even if it's not a full day like social media as well um I I have like Saturday nights for me is when I do social media like I go through comments and I look at you know Discord and like I catch up on all those things the the little LinkedIn messages that throughout the week is just you know it's Non-Stop and it Peppers your entire day so I just kind of time box it to a few hours on a Saturday night for me like I have personal um messages as well that I I have to go through um and I find it more useful to be in that mindset where it's just like okay for the next two hours I'm just answering comments and that's fine and it's not like high intensity or anything but it's also not stopping me from doing other things yeah hmm yeah I'm definitely gonna try day teaming and see how it works for me I'll report back to you yeah I think I think those things are important ways to set boundaries for for yourself like a lot of these productivity things are really based on you right so they're also based on how you work so for me when I write I always schedule it for between 10 to midnight 10 pm to midnight and I know that wouldn't work for a lot of people but that's when I'm the most creative and that's when like you know most people are asleep or not working and they find that it's just quieter you know if I but for some somebody else it might be better to schedule something at like I don't know 6 a.m or something I'm not one of those people no I can I can relate to that because with this book writing and I was saying to you know my partner about this like I have to do it at night because that's when I can write like I just can't like I can't have the creative you know juices the creative thinking like in the morning even like in the afternoon like I'd rather do other stuff but it's weird and I don't know if it's because this is the book but with work stuff then yeah I feel like I can write during you know like the morning so for example yesterday um I mean I meant afternoon so yesterday afternoon I was you know drafting um a blog post that I want to write about grafana Faro and that was fine but then when it comes to my book writing it always has to be at night because I can't yeah I can't do it in the morning or yeah whenever I have some like free time as well so it has to be at night yeah that's important to know about yourself like this is when we get to introspection and sometimes therapy to figure out what actually works for you like for me for some people they like the consistency of a daily routine every day at this time I always go to the gym and then I meditate and then I do this or whatever I'm more like I still need some consistency but having everyday look the same is like I really chafe at that and so that's why I found day theming so it's like every Tuesday looks the same but Tuesdays and Wednesdays don't look the same for me and and I like that yeah it's really good yeah but yeah I'm gonna try day theming and see how it works for me um maybe the last example um not related to time management but um even with I guess like you know financials because one of the things that I have been doing and it's you know working really well because I can you know weed out the non-essentials in terms of how I'm spending is I now keep track of a financial like spreadsheet um I've been doing this for a few months now and it's really working because at least I can see um oh my God can you still see me my monitor just like randomly froze anyway um so yeah in terms of this like spreadsheet it's been really useful for me to weed out the non-essentials so things that I have subscribed that I'm not really using I've gotten rid of that um and you know activities that I you know want to focus on so for example um you know I want to um like introduce you know Gabby to some sort of music lessons then I put it there now and at least I can sort of like budget as well like Financial wise like okay I'm doing well in this area but I'm not doing well in some other area so we can relate that back to this essential dislike thinking as well because like you're actively you know like removing you know expenses or like you know like subscriptions that doesn't really give you value and you just focus on things that you know maybe are you know really essential like obviously we have all our like monthly expenses but then things like you know is this um experience going to you know give me something in terms of you know like life Improvement or like skill Improvement things like that so yep I've I've I I I just want to share that that yeah having a financial uh spreadsheet um is is reusable and it could be one of the tools as well that you can use if you want to you know be more like essentialist in like other areas in your life I've been using for the last maybe 10 years 12 years an app called you need a budget it's a web app but also a mobile app that works well with multiple people like my husband and I we share we have joint finances and um it's really it's basically the same thing that you're suggest that you're talking about it is a way to have like buckets for for diff for your money because one of the main things that you have to learn is you shouldn't look at the account balance because again it's kind of like looking at the conference and just seeing the one hour talking slot you know yeah this way you actually see the buckets of the categories of what what that what each what the money is doing like you might have let's say you have a hundred dollars or something um you might see that hundred dollars and think well I want to buy you know something frivolous for ninety dollars I have the money but what you don't realize is that that hundred dollars is already committed to something else yeah 20 for this and 30 for that and and so on um and that does that for it's not for everyone but tracking all of my expenses really helps me Identify some really silly purchases or recurring expenses that I've agreed to that I've set up that I really need to stop like the number of switch consoles yes oh no now you're calling me out I said Marie and and some of our other co-workers a photo of my the number of Nintendo switches I have which is six seven if you count the one in Portugal it's kind of embarrassing that I've collected that much it's just for me by the way it's one person yeah about financial budgets or yeah something like that yeah let's do it I have a lot to say on the topic nice cool well we've reached the full hour we've yeah exceeded a tiny bit but yeah I I really enjoyed this episode because um and this is a disclaimer like I'm not saying I'm a full essentialist I've just finished the book but you know we just wanted to share you know things that we've learned things that are working for us and yeah things that like I specifically want to try in terms of like how can I improve my you know time management better so yeah I hope this episode was useful um next week so I think we're back with another guest and we're gonna talk about a topic that most of us have felt so um yeah better stay tuned for uh for the next episode okay thank you very much for watching thank you and yeah have a great day bye-bye see you, Setting Boundaries, Time Management, and Essentialism, Adobo & Avocados, 01hb42z1p6yg6bn5habk6zpahw.