AI Therapy, “Mankeeping,” and Screen Addiction  ## Metadata - Author: [[Pivot]] - Full Title: AI Therapy, “Mankeeping,” and Screen Addiction - Category: #podcasts - URL: https://share.snipd.com/episode/ee74ff1b-e91e-4d47-bcd9-45942bb3e86a ## Document Notes ## Highlights - **Mel Robbins' Five-Second Rule** - Mel Robbins shares her personal creation of the five-second rule as a motivational hack. - It helps people act before overthinking and overcome hesitation that hinders productivity. Transcript: Mel Robbins What do you attribute that to? Because this is a shift. Public Defender, CNN legal analyst to this. Well, when I got involved in podcasting, I had been wanting to do something that was a longer form conversation. I had been after, you know, after CNN, what ended up happening is I had created this motivational hack called the five second rule, not the one where you drop food on the floor. Right. Pick it up in five seconds. Which I do all the time. Yeah, blow the dog hair off. We're good to go. This is this concept that there's a big difference between thinking and doing. And there's this five-second window of hesitation that defines your whole life. The moment you stop and consider how you feel about doing something, within five seconds, if you don't do it, your kind of automatic thinking loops will take over. So, for example, when the alarm goes off in the morning, you know that you're supposed to get out. You're the one who set the alarm. And yet, of just rolling out of bed, what do we do? We stop and we think, how do I feel about getting out of bed? And if you're stressed or anxious or depressed, which I was when I created this little hack, if you stop and think it's cold, it's dark, I don't feel like it, my life's a nightmare, I hate My spouse, like I'm just going to go back to sleep, you will go back to sleep. If you move within five seconds, everything changes. See, there's this huge mistake that people make, I made this forever, thinking that at some point I'll feel like doing what I need to do. Right. And the fact is, motivation is complete garbage. You will never feel like doing the things that you need to do. You need to develop this skill, everybody does, to force yourself to take action before you feel ready. I see. And so the five-second rule is a simple concept. You just count backwards the moment you feel hesitation kick in. Five, four, three, two, one, and then you move. And you can use this to shortcut this default that a lot of us have, which is a bias toward overthinking the smallest things that we need to do. ([Time 0:04:10](https://share.snipd.com/snip/334eea48-8c7a-44cc-92d7-74699fbdda18)) - **Control Yourself, Let Them Be** - The Let Them Theory teaches acceptance of what you can't control, mostly other people. - It shifts focus to self-control over thoughts, actions, and emotional responses for peace of mind. Transcript: Mel Robbins Them theory is all about. Sure. And how you came up with them. Sure. So the let them theory is a very simple concept, two simple words. That's how you begin, let them, will help you live your life completely differently. It is a philosophy that's all about control and power. What is in your control? What is not in your control? And the fact is that most of us spend way too much of our time and energy burning through things that are beyond your control. And the number one thing that is outside of your control at all times is other people. What they think, what they do, what they say, how they feel, what they believe. And I never realized the extent to which I was living my life navigating my day-to decisions based on other people's moods, their expectations, trying to get them to think. Everybody does. Everybody does because we have a fundamental need to feel in control. It's a survival mechanism. That's not going away. But we make a mistake of thinking that the way to feel safer or more in control in your own life is to micromanage change and control other people. So if you were doing something that worried me or frustrated me or made me feel nervous about something or hurt, instead of crossing the line and trying to force you to change, which is What I did forever with my kids, with my husband, with the world around me, with my boss, there's a simpler way to live your life. Just say, let them. Let them think what they're going to think. Let them do what they're going to do. Let them be who they're going to be. Let them feel what they're going to feel. Because I know that I can't control another human being. And then you go to step two of the theory, which is you say, let me. Let me is where you take your power back. And instead of giving it to other people and outside forces, which only is going to stress you out, by the way, let me remind myself at any moment, there's only three things I can control. I can control what I think. I can control what I do or don't do. And I can control how I respond to the feelings that are going to automatically rise up. That's all you've got. And one of the reasons why this is spread around the world, and it's more than... It really has. It's crazy. Oh, no, it's six million copies in six and a half months. ([Time 0:07:10](https://share.snipd.com/snip/3d31f4c8-e289-47b8-9812-5e0df26a4bdf)) - **Support Struggling People Effectively** - Apologize for pressuring struggling people and ask how they feel rather than giving unsolicited advice. - Back off to give them space and model healthy behaviors to quietly influence change. Transcript: Kara Swisher You just discussed your son how you use it in your day-to life. Is there a surprising case? And is there one where you should not use let them? Mel Robbins Well, again, I don't know of a single case where you shouldn't use let them because there's always the let me part. Like, for example, if you're in a situation where you have a friend that's wasted and they're grabbing their keys, you're not going to just let them walk out the door. Right. But they're already grabbing their keys. You got to go to the let me part. Let me step in. Right. Take the keys. Let me do the thing that is going to prevent them from doing something destructive right now. But here's the problem. Most people don't do that in front of you. Most people that are struggling are really good at hiding it because they already feel a deep sense of shame about it. And so the approach that I think is the use case that's incredible comes from Dr. Stuart Ablon. And it's taking the let them, which is let somebody just be where they are. Let them be who they are. Let them struggle and let me take a different approach. And that approach is with them, not at them. And so the approach is simple. You literally take the stance, I break it down into something I call the ABC loop. And the ABC loop is just a three-part conversation. The first thing you're going to do with anybody that's struggling in your life, and this is the most surprising use case, it works like a charm, is you apologize. You apologize to the person for assuming you know what's going on and for badgering them and pressuring them. And so with, you know, instance with my son, hey, buddy, I'm really sorry. Must be completely annoying to have me constantly nagging you. I'm really sorry about that. And first of all, if it's a kid, they're really like, ooh, what? They're waiting for that. And by the way, the best place to have this conversation is a car because they're trapped. You don't have to look at each other. There's something about the forward ambulation of being in a moving vehicle. I have a lot of good discussions with my kids. Yes, yes. And so you apologize. And then what you're going to do is you're going to ask, this is the A, open-ended question. I've never even asked you, how do you feel about how school's going? How do you feel about how you're doing? And even if they're like, the experts say, it doesn't matter what they say. Right. Because the internal friction you're creating. Kara Swisher It's not you telling them what you think about how they're doing. Mel Robbins They know how they're doing. Right. Human beings aren't idiots. Right. They know when they're not thriving. Mm-hmm. But we don't stop and ask them how they feel about it. Right. And so even being asked to consider, how do I feel about my health right now? Mm-hmm. How do I feel about the fact that my mother's dying? How do I feel about the fact that I might lose my job to AI? It's stirring up the friction that most of us repress. And then what do you do? That's all you have to do. We have C. We just have B. Back off. Well, B is back off. B is back off, yeah. Back off. You've got to back off and you've got to wait. And then C is the hard part. You've got to model the change. So is, but let me as a version of don't let them in a way, it's a different version. See, I want you to be sneaky. I don't want you to, I don't want you to, I don't want you to try to change people because it's going to backfire. ([Time 0:22:31](https://share.snipd.com/snip/b8c733ed-b44c-46cf-8048-a5858756207c)) - **AI Therapy Use Soars** - Therapy and companionship will be the leading use of generative AI by 2025. - This surge shows massive unmet mental health needs and stresses the importance of regulation. Transcript: Mel Robbins Actually a recent report from Harvard Business. Yeah. That since 2024 to 2025, this is a, literally, it just came out a couple months ago, that the single top use case for generative AI in 2025 is therapy and companionship. Right. And I just want everybody to sit with that right now. Well, there's 700 million people that are using generative AI every week. Yep. The top use case, Harvard Business School report, and this is a major change from 2024, is for... Which was usually just, I want to get airline tickets. Generating ideas. Generating ideas. So 2024 was generating ideas, specific search. It was therapy and companionship, but now it's therapy and companionship number one. And so it is happening. And the first thing I want to say is I really want to applaud what's happening in Illinois, because one of the things that is terrifying about what's happening with AI, and there's lots Of wonderful things that are happening, but let's just talk about the terrifying thing that's happening. There's zero regulation. Zero. And if we have a situation where people are turning to AI in order to get advice, it's already happening. And the problem, because there is good stuff here, I brought a bunch of studies to talk about here, and I want to zoom out and talk about, well, why is this happening? The reason why people are turning toward AI is because we are, first of all, as we've already discussed, living in an unprecedented moment of change and overwhelm and insecurity. Kara Swisher Right. Information flood versus information desert, which existed before. Mel Robbins And what we have is also combine that with a medical fact. Dr. Aditi Nurikar, Harvard Medical School, 80% of people in the United States are living in a state of chronic stress, meaning you're in fight or flight. Right. Constantly. Constantly. And so if you're finding, as you're listening right now, that you're constantly overthinking, you're procrastinating more, you feel a little bit more anxious, you're having trouble Thinking. And you have the tools to help you do that doom scrolling or constant news. Yes. Yes. We'll talk about that in a second. Body won't reset without you resetting your stress response. And so you have this backdrop where you've got people in a state where they need support. And in the United States alone, for every 1600 people that have depression or anxiety, there's only one mental health professional. And that's in the the United States. There are some places in the world where for every 300,000 people that have depression, there's one. And so there is a huge need. But let's talk about... Also, people aren't connecting with their own close people, too. They don't have that at work or wherever. Yes. And so I think it's important to just say that we need to look at the fact that people are searching for answers. And I personally believe that the fact that somebody is searching for answers is a good thing. Now, let's talk about where AI can support and where AI is very, very problematic. Because I think the single biggest issue that we're facing when it comes to generative AI is there's zero regulation. And we're living in a world, especially in the United States, where we now have a government that's more focused on profit than people. We have business regulation getting gutted. In fact, you know, you've got the backdrop of Illinois passing this law, which I think it's a fabulous thing, but here's my concern. It seems like the law is focused primarily on AI products that are marketed as therapy. My concern is the average person is just going right there and doing a prompt. Right. Kara Swisher And it's also open AI is still the largest. Yes. And now they are trying to do things like sending out reminders to people to take a break when they've been chatting with a bot, but they also benefit from people just as any other, just As Facebook does and others. Well, ([Time 0:34:00](https://share.snipd.com/snip/90a0796f-ae70-4628-b963-edc861008d0e)) - **Set Boundaries to Control Screen Use** - Set firm boundaries: don't reflexively reach for your phone during idle moments. - Create phone-free zones like family dinners to improve presence and connection. Transcript: Kara Swisher But you want to stay informed without feeling overwhelmed. Mel Robbins Yeah, of course. So, you know, this is a very simple thing. Like think about input versus output. And what are you allowing into your mind? It's that simple. Do you trust the voices? Kara Swisher Like food you're talking about. Mel Robbins It's just, well, I'm talking about information. Right, but it's like food, like twinkie, twinkie, twinkie. Yes. So are you, if garbage in, garbage out. Which is a computer term. Yes. And so if you are serious about your stress and your peace and your success in life and your health, you will get very serious about what you allow in to your mind. You have control, a lot more control than you believe. Though some might argue some of it's addictive, but go ahead. Go ahead. Yeah, it is. It is. Absolutely. So, you know, cocaine's addictive. I don't sleep next to an eight ball. You don't? Not in your Lamborghini? No. No. And I'm kind of, you know, I'm being like punchy about this, but like stop blaming the phone and actually recognize that the phone is a tool. What's on it is addictive. But if you know it's addictive, then adjust your behavior so that you don't become the tool. Kara Swisher Right. So how do you stay informed, though, and not check out? Mel Robbins Because one of the things is just being completely passive, especially and the fact that doom scrolling is rather enjoyable in some fashion. Well, that's why we do it. Yeah. You know, what's interesting about doom scrolling is it actually, you know, the research is very interesting around this, is that it is a lot like pulling a slot machine. There's a very like kind of seductive trance-like thing of just pulling that slot machine. And that's also why we do it. Another reason why we do it is because all day long, we feel like our time and energy has been hijacked by work, by other people's drama, by the stress of life, by the headlines that when You get home and you plop on the couch, there's almost like this fuck you experience that you have. And you're like, I'm just going to take back my life by spending three hours doing nothing. We all do it. And so understanding that and that you're going to fall into that trap every once in a while, which, by the way, when you're also stressed. You tend to do. Oh, way more. The research is very clear that when you're very stressed out or even remotely stressed out, that you are way more susceptible to these cheap dopamine hits. And yes, the phone, not the phone itself, but the stuff on the phone is designed to keep you on it because the longer that you give your attention to it, the more money people make. Kara Swisher And the more it gives you things. You had Tristan Harris just talked about this. Mel Robbins But so the thing I want to just say, though, is you have more power than you think. Kara Swisher So give people practices because they don't think they do. Because the element of addiction is massive here. Absolutely. Much more. And one of the things I always say is, one, it's addictive. Two, you need it for work. Mel Robbins Yeah. And stop blaming work for the reason why it's always in your hand. Kara Swisher I get it, but it's hard not to be digital. It's impossible. Well, I'm not saying don't be a monk and live in the mountains. Mel Robbins What I'm saying is, develop some fucking boundaries. So talk about that. Here Yeah. Don't reach for your phone. Three lousy minutes. Don't reach for your phone. Feel the tension. Don't reach for your phone. Kara Swisher Did you see that? There was an article in Atlantic saying what things we did before the internet. And someone was, I read it and then a lot of people were commenting and said, what did you do? I said, everything. We did everything. Like, I don't know, but we did. Like, it was fine. But it starts with you. Mel Robbins Like, literally stand in line. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Don't reach for your phone. And as people start pissing you off, let them. And let me just stand here and take a deep breath and just be in this moment boredom and that's what you're talking about or presence like presence and just create a pocket between you And this lie you're telling yourself that you need to be constantly to everything. No music? No. Why? Like, if you look fine, if you want to listen to music, but I just, fine if you're listening to a podcast, but if you're reflexively, mindlessly reaching for your phone, train yourself Not to. Here's another one. Another one to do is when I am done working, this has changed my life. Because I used to be guilty of, you know, I'd come to us, you have four kids, I have three kids. I would literally be on my phone for work or on my life, and then I would shut it down and now I'm ready. And then everybody else is on their phones and I'm yelling at everybody else to get off their phones. It starts with you. This is the dumbest thing. And again, this is the one criticism, one of the criticisms that I get for my work is, well, it's so simple. I'm like, it's not simple to most of us, okay? Yes, right. Kara Swisher And so. Is that how they say it? Just like. Yeah, kind of like. Can you do that again? Mel Robbins It's so simple. Oh, well, Robin shit is so simple. I'm like, well, only to the intellectuals does it seem simple. To the rest of us idiots, like this stuff is pretty difficult. But I set up a charging station in the kitchen. This is the dumbest thing. I started to realize that in moments I want to be in person, I have to have my phone off my person. And I started to train myself to put my phone off my body when I was coming downstairs and it's time for dinner or whatever. And it has changed my life because I reflexively reach for it without realizing it when it's on me. Right. And when it's off you and you start to train yourself again, it goes back to that line in the grocery store where you literally just build this little pocket of peace and presence. Now you're building, you're taking that pocket and you're putting that pocket of peace and presence into your life in your home. ([Time 0:45:37](https://share.snipd.com/snip/e8da08bf-5229-43e8-850a-2f8308668527)) - **Friendship Dynamics by Gender** - Men's friendship styles rely on groups and proximity, unlike women's closer one-on-one relationships. - Friendship conditions like proximity, timing, and energy explain adult social challenges and perceived loneliness. Transcript: Kara Swisher And talk about the boundaries around that, because I think dating has definitely, for some reason, become harder. And what advice do you have for men? Well, I thought that this was a very interesting article because it was very polarizing. All the women were like, finally! Mel Robbins Like, somebody's saying something! And all the guys were like, uh, me, this is a very broad voice. Yes. You know, like broad brush. This is reductive. Yeah. Give me a break. So again, I'm one of these people that likes to zoom out and look at the bigger picture. Sure. And there is a major issue going on when it comes to men and their ability to express and understand their emotions and their ability to connect and their Yeah. Mm-hmm. And Jason Wilson's analogy is women tend to have a emotional depth or at least awareness that is broader than most men. And there's a bazillion factors, whether it is the socialization of boys, whether it is gender stereotypes, whether it is the framework of a lot of male friendships, which I'm going To get into because I think this tracks back to the nature of friendship for young boys versus girls. And then what changes when you become an adult. But he basically says women like have that like 64 crayon box that they're dealing with and dudes have like the eight. Right. And that's an issue because if you don't know the deeper issue that you're dealing with, you're going to always reach for anger or sadness. And typically if somebody is expressing anger or sadness, there's a lot of other deeper emotions going on that people don't know how to talk about. Kara Swisher So often shame, but go ahead. Mel Robbins Yeah, often shame. And, you know, if you don't know the difference between the two, you know, guilt is when I did something bad and shame is when you say I'm bad because of what I did. And so blaming men for this doesn't actually solve the bigger problem. And I think the bigger problem starts a lot earlier. Like if you look at all the research around friendship, boys tend to create friendships in groups. Girls tend to have closer relationships one-on A lot of men tend to make their friends based on teams and based on groups that are organized for them. And when they graduate from high school or for college, they end up going to the next team, which is work. And now we're in a situation where we have hybrid work. We're in a situation where people are very disconnected. And you have a situation where guys have defaulted to needing groups to be organized in order to feel like you have relationships with other people. Kara Swisher Yep. It's so interesting. My daughter has individual friends and my sons have the boys. Yes. Which is really interesting. Here's the boys. Mel Robbins Yes, exactly. And so when you get into a heterosexual relationship, you are now in a relationship with somebody who is used to connecting one-on And so you are probably, in a lot of cases, training This person for the first time in some of the deeper nuances of your emotional or inner life. And so I don't think it's a bad thing that you might be in a relationship with somebody that leans on you and that needs your support. But I do think it is a bad thing if you are not effective in getting your person to be more proactive with friendship and to be more proactive. Outside of the relationship. Oh, hell yes. Hell yes. And, you know, I write about this in the let them theory, and it's a really helpful framework that makes you really think about friendship differently. Most of us don't understand friendship. And friendship, once I explain this to you, you'll be like, oh my God. So simple now. Yeah, it's so simple. Like, what the fuck? I will. So for your whole life, the conditions for friendship from zero to 20 were there. Because you were with people your age all the time. Right. And you were doing the same things all the time. And you had the same milestones. Celebrated birthdays, graduations, same vacation schedules, all of it. Right. When you hit 20, all of a sudden, the great scattering, as I call it, And everybody scatters in different directions. And then the only thing that's holding your old friends together is a group text chain that gets kind of dwindles to less and less and less as people start to jump into their lives. And then we start to say, I have no friends, which is not true. And so let me tell you the three pillars based on research that need to be present to create friendship. And I want people to understand this because when you see the pillars, you can support people in your life, whether it's young boys or young men or your partner, in understanding what It's going to take to create these relationships that matter. So number one, you have to have proximity. Proximity is the single most important condition for friendship. There was research at the University of Kansas that was done about friendship. And I'm going to probably get the facts or the actual digits wrong, but I'm going to be in the right range. In order to have a casual friend, you need to spend almost 80 hours with somebody. In order to have a super close friend, over 200 hours. And the proximity creates the condition. School, school, whatever. Other school parents. Other school parents, seeing them on the sidelines. In class, sitting next to people. At work, you used to have a lot of friends at work, right? Because you spent so much time with them. So that brings me to the second condition that needs to be present for good friendship to happen. And that is timing. So timing means are we in the same time of our lives? Are we both raising kids? Are we around the same age? Are we interested in the same things? This explains why you can spend 50 to 60 hours a week with people at work and really love them and they're awesome, but you're not best friends. Because you may be in your 20s and so you'll go out and get wasted and then you're puking in a garbage can on Sunday night and then Monday morning, it's like, hey, what'd you do? Oh, I went to a soccer game with my kids. You're in different timing of life, so there's only so much depth. Third condition for friendship, energy. Energy is just about whether or not there's a fit or not, and I've come to believe it has a lot more to do about what your priorities are. This is why you can be super close friends with people, but if you decide to stop drinking, all of a sudden you're not that close because the energy shifts. Now, here's the most important thing. The reason why it's important to understand that it's about proximity, it's about timing, and it's about energy is that when friendships naturally come and go, it doesn't mean anything's Wrong. It's actually good. I agree. You got to let them. Let them come and go. And the mistake that people make is they start to say, I have no friends. That's not true. People come and go in your life, and it's a beautiful thing. ([Time 1:01:07](https://share.snipd.com/snip/9cdf99e2-cb76-49af-8941-04ee467fd31b)) - **Build Community Through Small Steps** - When new to a place, say yes to social opportunities and initiate conversations to build community. - Small acts like complimenting strangers help break social isolation and foster new bonds. Transcript: Kara Swisher A thing. When I moved to California from D.C., I had a wonderful social life in D.C., friends, everything else. And I moved to California to cover the nascent internet industry. I didn't know anyone. And I just broke up with someone, too. So it was just like, and I spent a couple months like crying in a rainy San Francisco house. And I remember when spring came, you know, I'm going to say yes to everything. Mel Robbins Everything, even this smallest little thing. And it was changing everything. Yeah, it does. Like, I started honest to God by just going to the coffee shop. And then instead of sitting there alone, I forced myself to start turning and talking to people in a line instead of looking at my phone. I, you know, come here. Oh, I like your socks. Like just complimenting somebody is a great way. Love bombing. Yeah, to just strike up a cut, turn and talk to the people next to you. Just it's a way to start to come out of your shell. Actually, longevity depends on talking to strangers. It's really interesting. Yes. Are you going to talk about the warm, like, connection? Yeah. Like, so here's the thing. We undervalue the foundational importance of what they call. They call them something like cold relationships, but I like to call them warm relationships. These are the barista at the coffee shop. This is the person that you see at the dog park. Stopping and talking to folks, learning their names. And here's a great hack. So for your favorite coffee shop or the place that you go a lot, your restaurants, whatever, the gym, create a contact listing. Put in the coffee shop name. In the notes section. Put their names. With a description. Beard and glasses makes a great cup of coffee. His name is Kevin. And then you're going to learn that his dog is Ollie. And then before you go into the coffee shop. You look at it. Yes. And then you can walk in and you're like, hey, Kevin, how you doing? It's Mel. And you start to build this framework that actually matters because you start to feel seen and you start to feel like there is a small community. And from there, you loosen up and start to... And they don't have to be your ([Time 1:09:30](https://share.snipd.com/snip/277d02ed-0fd8-4ad9-8ae5-be7aac4c2eac)) - **Let Others Speak First** - You first must let others express their views fully before responding for effective influence. - Reacting immediately blocks communication; patience creates space for understanding and dialogue. Transcript: Mel Robbins What we do in life when somebody starts to go off or act in a way that we don't like is instead of like when they start to go off and act in a way, imagine that red glass is tipping over and they're Pouring all of it out of their brain. The second you react, respond, like disagree, bitch, ba-da like what that is actually is it's as if you've taken your glass of blue water and tried to pour it on top of the red. There's no room in the brain to hear it. They have to first feel as though you have listened and heard what they've had to say. And so I think a lot about the fact that the saying let them forces me to stop just getting so pissed off. Or getting your digs in. Or getting my digs in and just let them pour it out. It's sort of like somebody puking. Like if somebody's puking, you don't stand in front of them. You stand to the side. You stand far away. Yeah, you hold their hair. You're like if they've got long hair, right? You rub their back. Is there anything else? Maybe. Anything else? Yeah, yeah. You don't let it come out. Yeah. And then somebody is able to hear you. Right. But we have to build this tolerance of being able to let people be who they are and have their opinions and then let me be more effective at understanding what I think I hear and then saying Something. ([Time 1:13:53](https://share.snipd.com/snip/ff44591d-6412-4f74-957e-760bf74a368e)) - **Ask Before Advising or Challenging** - Before offering advice, ask if the person wants you to listen or provide solutions. - Use pauses and questions to prompt people to reconsider potentially offensive remarks. Transcript: Mel Robbins They just want acknowledgement. And I think often listening to you guys, Scott is having an emotional or social conversation and you're trying to have a practical one. And one of the things that have changed my parenting is I've literally adopted this phrase that is, do you want me to listen? Or would you like my advice? And nine times out of ten, people just want you to listen. Another thing that you could say to Scott that I love, because when he does things that are just like, oh, my God. Like when you opened up the show where he was in his apartment and he made that joke about how the last time a woman was here. $60. Yes, exactly. You could just say, dude, that is below a standard for my response. Or you can also say, could you repeat that? Yeah. Oh, I like that. Kara Swisher The first one I think is priggy. The first one is priggy. Mel Robbins But in the pause, could you repeat that? Yeah. He's going to be like, I didn't mean that. Yeah. But the pause and asking somebody to repeat it forces them to reflect on what just happened. Yeah. You can also say, did you actually mean to be offensive? No, no, that sounds priggy. Let's be in San Francisco. See, there you go. You can do, but it depends on the person and how you want to solve it. But I love that pause and just be like, could you repeat that? What? ([Time 1:15:44](https://share.snipd.com/snip/f280869f-0232-44a4-8985-0de6a7a9c06e)) - **AI Intellectual Property Threats** - Mel Robbins recounts how AI companies illegally uploaded her work creating fake versions. - Without regulation, such unauthorized AI use threatens creators' intellectual property and identity rights. Transcript: Mel Robbins Oh, the lawyer's coming back. Well, no, this really pisses me off, honestly. Okay, all right. Where they ruled in favor of AI companies having the legal right to upload copyrighted material into large language modeled things. And let me just explain what this means. If you write a book, somebody can go and buy your book for $25 and upload the entire transcript into AI and use it with unfettered access or any citation to you or any link out to you or anything To you. And this is the single biggest raid, I think, of intellectual property. And there are lots of authors that are bringing lawsuits. They brought one. Tony Robbins is. Yep, Tony Robbins is. And, you know, what is a huge fail, and again, we're kind of touching on something we already talked about, is the lack of regulation. To put this in perspective, every single day there are hundreds if thousands, of AI-generated fake shit of me online. I had the same half of my book come out at Amazon. Yes, and here's the problem. I'm not whining. This is an occupational hazard. I am concerned as a lawyer and a citizen because I have 38 million followers and one of the largest podcasts in the world. You do. I cannot get the platforms to take this shit down. Right. And if I can't do it, how the hell is the average— They're stealing your stuff. It's not even stealing my stuff. They're stealing my face and my voice and putting a could create mal-AI? Oh, they already do. There are things with me out there saying all kinds of inflammatory stuff about Pakistan, and I can't get it taken down. And if I can't do that, what's going to happen to the average person who is having their identity stolen, who is having this happen to them? What is happening to the independent artists that can't afford a lawyer who's having their work ripped off? Our podcast, my audio book got uploaded to an AI bot and they generated a fake version of it with two AI bots reading the audio book. And under this case law, the fair use doctrine and derivative works, they have a claim that it generated by AI with fake AI robot voices, that that is now protected because it's derivative Of what I did. Now, here's the problem that I have. You can upload it to Spotify, which they did. It started ranking in the top 10 podcasts in the world marketed as my audio book. It took me three months to get them to remove it. Three months. And I have the means to get it removed. Why? Well, because there's no regulation. And there's no requirement. And this is why we're failing. There needs to be a requirement that something that is either generated by or spoken by AI is labeled as such. Because I will compete against a robot, but I'd like to know that it's a robot. As a consumer, I would like to know if I'm listening to your voice or if I'm listening to something that somewhere in some room overseas created in some den, an AI version. Kara Swisher They also get money. Of course. Savannah Guthrie wrote a book about her religion, and some AI made a workbook, and her mother bought it, thinking it was her workbook on how to do this. Mel Robbins And so the lack of the requirement of labeling, I think a lot of consumers would go, well, I don't want to listen. I don't want to read that news if AI wrote it. I'd rather read the news by this journalist that I trust. This is why so many people are going to Substack. So I think it's a huge fail, this litigation. ([Time 1:22:31](https://share.snipd.com/snip/615b401c-186e-4321-93ed-31183907fe45)) - **Accept Compliments Confidently** - When you receive a compliment, accept it graciously by saying, 'I agree. Thank you.' - This practice empowers and affirms confidence in others. Transcript: Mel Robbins On a global level. I'm 62. Yeah, I know you are. So you look incredible. Thank you. Once again. Thank you. You're welcome. I agree. That's the best response I have ever heard. Everybody, did you hear that? I want you to send this, that section right there. Send this to every woman and girl you have. Yeah. When you compliment them, teach the women and girls in your life to say, I agree. Thank you. I agree. Thank you. You're right. You're ([Time 1:27:10](https://share.snipd.com/snip/4fbabfcd-3f54-4ec9-9dc5-6da2f47c07b2))