Biblical Counseling That Actually Heals Lessons From Job

Biblical Counseling That Actually Heals: Lessons From Job 🔗 **Source:** [Biblical Counseling That Actually Heals: Lessons From Job](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FhnfuN5Z7hI) > [!note]+ Document Notes > tags: [biblical-counseling, trauma-informed-care, christian-counseling] > author: Remnant Radio > source: YouTube > reference: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FhnfuN5Z7hI > date created: 2024-12-19 14:30 > > # 🏷️ Title: Biblical Counseling That Actually Heals: Lessons From Job >  ## 🧰 Action Inbox - [H1] Avoid explaining suffering to traumatized people — retribution theology harmful #counseling - [H2] Practice ministry of presence instead of rushing to fix — sit with sufferers #ministry - [H3] Create safe space for lament without judgment — healing requires expression #trauma ## 🧭 Table of Contents - [📝 Summary](#-summary) - [📖 Main Content](#-main-content) - [🗒️ Notes](#️-notes) - [📚 References](#-references) - [🗣️ Paraphrase](#️-paraphrase) - [📰 Newsletter](#-newsletter) - [✅ Action Items](#-action-items) - [🧪 Hypotheses](#-hypotheses) - [📊 Methodology](#-methodology) - [❓ Questions](#-questions) - [🔮 Future Research](#-future-research) - [💡 Implications](#-implications) - [🧠 Learning Styles Assessment](#-learning-styles-assessment) - [📊 Accessibility Assessment](#-accessibility-assessment) - [🌍 DEIB Assessment](#-deib-assessment) - [✅ Logical Validity](#-logical-validity) - [🛡️ DARVO Analysis](#-darvo-analysis) - [🎯 Conclusion](#-conclusion) ### 🔗 References - [Biblical Counseling That Actually Heals: Lessons From Job](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FhnfuN5Z7hI) ## 📝 Summary - Michael Roundtree from Remnant Radio presents biblical principles for trauma-informed counseling using the Book of Job - Why it matters: Christians often respond poorly to suffering people, inadvertently increasing trauma rather than providing healing - Key audience: Pastors, counselors, and Christians who minister to traumatized individuals - Risk: Well-intentioned but harmful responses can re-traumatize victims and drive them away from faith - Bottom line: The Book of Job teaches us to offer presence over explanations, create space for lament, and honor the complexity of suffering ## 📖 Main Content The video argues that the Book of Job serves as a biblical guide for trauma-informed counseling, demonstrating both harmful and helpful responses to suffering. Roundtree explains that Job's friends represent common but damaging approaches: trying to explain suffering through "retribution theology" (linking all suffering directly to sin), blaming victims for their trauma, and rushing to give advice rather than providing compassionate presence. The presenter defines retribution theology as an oversimplistic worldview suggesting that righteous living guarantees good outcomes while sin inevitably leads to suffering. This theology fails when confronted with examples like Jesus, who lived perfectly yet suffered tremendously. Modern expressions include phrases like "everything happens for a reason" or "God needed another angel." The positive model centers on three biblical principles: offering the ministry of presence (sitting with sufferers without trying to fix them), making space for lament (allowing extreme emotional expressions without condemnation), and honoring the complexity of pain (accepting mystery rather than demanding tidy explanations). ## 🗒️ Notes #### ⏱️ [00:00](https://youtu.be/FhnfuN5Z7hI?t=0) — [H1] Introduction to trauma-informed biblical counseling - Key idea: Part two of series on whether trauma-informed care is biblical - Evidence: "The Bible very directly addresses this subject" #### ⏱️ [01:15](https://youtu.be/FhnfuN5Z7hI?t=75) — [H2] Job as a book about trauma response - Key idea: Job demonstrates how responses to suffering either intensify or diminish pain - Evidence: "How we respond to suffering people intensifies or diminishes their suffering" #### ⏱️ [02:30](https://youtu.be/FhnfuN5Z7hI?t=150) — [H2] Don't try to explain suffering - Key idea: Retribution theology oversimplifies the relationship between sin and suffering - Evidence: "God exacts of you less than your guilt deserves" - Zofar's harmful explanation #### ⏱️ [04:45](https://youtu.be/FhnfuN5Z7hI?t=285) — [H3] Modern examples of harmful explanations - Key idea: Common phrases like "everything happens for a reason" can damage traumatized people - Evidence: "This kind of well-intentioned explanation is actually damaging to suffering people" #### ⏱️ [06:00](https://youtu.be/FhnfuN5Z7hI?t=360) — [H2] Don't blame victims - Key idea: Job's friends blamed both Job and his deceased children for their suffering - Evidence: "Your children sinned against him, so he gave them over to their rebellion" #### ⏱️ [07:30](https://youtu.be/FhnfuN5Z7hI?t=450) — [H3] Victim-blaming in healing ministry and abuse - Key idea: Questions like "what were you wearing?" imply guilt in trauma victims - Evidence: Faith healers "end up blaming the victims for their own suffering" #### ⏱️ [09:15](https://youtu.be/FhnfuN5Z7hI?t=555) — [H2] Be slow to advise - Key idea: Rushing to give advice ("pray and read your Bible more") shuts down vulnerable people - Evidence: Therapist forbids "shoulding all over" someone who shares trauma #### ⏱️ [11:00](https://youtu.be/FhnfuN5Z7hI?t=660) — [H1] Offer the ministry of presence - Key idea: Simply being with someone in their suffering is the most important response - Evidence: "They sat with him on the ground for seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word" #### ⏱️ [13:00](https://youtu.be/FhnfuN5Z7hI?t=780) — [H2] Make space for lament - Key idea: Trauma healing requires freedom to express extreme emotions and thoughts - Evidence: "Trauma healing always requires tears, talking, and time" - Dr. Diane Langberg #### ⏱️ [14:30](https://youtu.be/FhnfuN5Z7hI?t=870) — [H3] Job's extreme lament expressions - Key idea: God didn't condemn Job for expressing intense pain and seemingly accusatory statements - Evidence: "Let the day perish on which I was born... I loathe my life" #### ⏱️ [16:45](https://youtu.be/FhnfuN5Z7hI?t=1005) — [H2] Honor the complexity of pain - Key idea: Suffering involves mysterious spiritual forces beyond simple cause-and-effect - Evidence: Satan's role in Job's suffering shows spiritual warfare complexity #### ⏱️ [18:30](https://youtu.be/FhnfuN5Z7hI?t=1110) — [H3] Accepting mystery in suffering - Key idea: Best response acknowledges we don't always understand why suffering occurs - Evidence: "I don't know why this happened, but I'm so sorry that it did" #### ⏱️ [19:45](https://youtu.be/FhnfuN5Z7hI?t=1185) — [H1] Jesus as model for responding to broken people - Key idea: Christ's gentleness with suffering people contrasts with Job's friends - Evidence: "A bruised reed he will not break and a smoldering wick he will not quench" ## 📚 References - [Remnant Radio](https://www.youtube.com/c/RemnantRadio) - Book of Job (Old Testament) - Matthew 12:20, Isaiah 42:3 - Dr. Diane Langberg's trauma research - John 9 (man born blind) - James 5 (prayer and healing) ## 🗣️ Paraphrase - The Book of Job teaches that our responses to traumatized people can either worsen their pain or begin healing, making our approach critically important - Three harmful responses to avoid: explaining away suffering with simple theology, blaming victims for their trauma, and rushing to give advice instead of listening - Three healing responses to embrace: offering caring presence without trying to fix, creating safe space for emotional expression, and accepting that suffering often remains mysterious ## 📰 Newsletter **Learning to Minister Like Jesus to Trauma Survivors** This week's insight comes from an unexpected source - the Book of Job as a guide for trauma-informed biblical counseling. The key learning: your response to someone's suffering has the power to either intensify their pain or begin their healing journey. **Practical Application:** Instead of rushing to explain, fix, or advise, try the "ministry of presence" - simply sitting with someone in their pain. When someone shares trauma, resist the urge to offer explanations like "everything happens for a reason" and instead say "I don't know why this happened, but I'm so sorry that it did." **Helpful Resources:** - Study the contrast between Job's friends' responses and Jesus' gentleness in Matthew 12:20 - Learn about lament psalms as biblical models for processing pain - Consider trauma-informed care training for church leaders **Community Connection:** How might your small group or ministry team create safer spaces for people to share their struggles without fear of judgment or quick fixes? ## ✅ Action Items #### Community - Maintainers: Develop trauma-informed care training curricula for church leaders - Contributors: Create resources contrasting harmful vs. helpful responses to suffering - Sponsors: Fund counseling training that integrates biblical principles with trauma awareness #### WordPress - Training: Develop lesson plans on pastoral care and trauma-informed ministry - Community: Create guidelines for moderating discussions about suffering and mental health - Documentation: Document best practices for handling sensitive content in faith-based sites ## 🧪 Hypotheses - Churches that train leaders in trauma-informed biblical counseling will see increased retention of members who experience significant suffering - Ministry approaches emphasizing presence over problem-solving will demonstrate greater effectiveness in supporting trauma survivors - Integrating lament practices into church worship will create psychologically safer environments for struggling congregants - Congregations that avoid retribution theology will show higher levels of mental health support utilization ### 📊 Methodology - Survey church members about their experiences sharing trauma with religious leaders and the helpfulness of responses received - Compare mental health outcomes between churches with trauma-informed training versus traditional counseling approaches - Longitudinal study tracking church attendance patterns among trauma survivors based on initial pastoral response quality ### ❓ Questions - How can churches systematically train volunteers in trauma-informed ministry without requiring professional counseling credentials? - What specific liturgical or worship practices best create space for communal lament and emotional processing? - How do we balance theological convictions about God's sovereignty with trauma-informed approaches that emphasize validation over explanation? ### 🔮 Future Research - Develop evidence-based training programs that integrate trauma psychology with biblical counseling principles - Create assessment tools for measuring the spiritual impact of different pastoral care approaches on trauma survivors - Investigate the intersection between ancient biblical lament practices and modern therapeutic techniques ### 💡 Implications - Practice: Pastors and counselors need training in recognizing when explanatory theology becomes harmful to traumatized individuals - Policy: Churches should develop guidelines for responding to disclosures of abuse, trauma, and suicidal ideation - Security: Ministry leaders require education about mandatory reporting requirements and professional counseling referral processes - Education: Seminary curricula should integrate trauma-informed care principles with traditional pastoral care training - Funding: Churches need to budget for professional counseling training and mental health resource development ### 🧠 Learning Styles Assessment Reading level estimate: 8th-9th Grade (accessible to general church audiences) #### 👀 Visual learners - Present: Clear structure with numbered points and biblical text references - Improve: Diagrams contrasting harmful vs. helpful responses, flowcharts for pastoral care decision-making #### 🔊 Aural learners - Present: Video format with clear narration and biblical quotations - Improve: Audio-only version for podcast listeners, discussion guide questions #### 🗣️ Verbal learners - Present: Rich biblical language, theological terms defined, historical context provided - Improve: Glossary of counseling terms, more analogies connecting ancient and modern contexts #### 🧩 Kinesthetic learners - Present: Practical scenarios and role-play suggestions - Improve: Step-by-step response checklists, practice exercises for ministry teams #### 🧠 Logical learners - Present: Clear three-part structure, cause-and-effect relationships explained - Improve: Decision trees for pastoral response, comparison tables of approaches #### 🧑‍🤝‍🧑 Social learners - Present: Discussion of community ministry and friend relationships - Improve: Small group discussion guides, peer consultation frameworks #### 🧘‍♀️ Solitary learners - Present: Personal reflection opportunities, self-assessment questions - Improve: Individual study guides, journaling prompts for processing #### 🌿 Naturalistic learners - Present: Organic narrative structure following biblical text - Improve: Connections to healing processes in nature, growth metaphors ### 📊 Accessibility Assessment #### Screen reader semantics - Present: Clear heading hierarchy, descriptive video title - Improve: Transcript availability, descriptive alt text for any visual elements #### Keyboard navigation - Present: Standard YouTube player controls - Improve: Chapter markers for easy navigation, keyboard shortcuts documentation #### Contrast and readability - Present: Standard video format with clear audio - Improve: Closed captioning accuracy check, high-contrast visual aids #### Text resizing and reflow - Present: Video format adaptable to screen sizes - Improve: Responsive transcript layout, adjustable playback speed #### Media and captions - Present: Audio content with visual speaker - Improve: Professional closed captioning, transcript download option #### Forms and interactions - Present: Standard video engagement features - Improve: Accessible feedback forms, barrier-free newsletter signup ### 🌍 DEIB Assessment #### Cultural breadth - Present: Biblical examples transcend specific cultures - Improve: Examples from diverse cultural contexts, non-Western theological perspectives #### Inclusive language - Present: Gender-neutral terms for trauma survivors, respectful terminology - Improve: Acknowledgment of cultural trauma, systemic oppression contexts #### Neurodiversity support - Present: Clear structure, predictable format - Improve: Content warnings for trauma discussions, sensory considerations #### Representation - Present: Focus on universal human experiences of suffering - Improve: Diverse examples of trauma types, varied community contexts #### Psychological safety - Present: Emphasis on creating safe spaces, validation - Improve: Trigger warnings, resource lists for professional help ### ✅ Logical Validity #### Strong reasoning - Deductive strength: Biblical text analysis leads to practical principles - strong foundation - Inductive strength: Personal examples support general principles - moderate strength - Causal reasoning: Response quality affects trauma intensity - well-supported claim - Analogical strength: Job's friends as model for modern counselors - appropriate comparison #### Fallacies - False dichotomy: Presents trauma-informed care as either fully biblical or unbiblical, may oversimplify complex integration - Hasty generalization: Limited examples from charismatic healing ministry applied broadly - needs more diverse evidence #### Tone of voice - Overall tone: Compassionate and instructional with pastoral authority, appropriately serious given trauma subject matter ### 🛡️ DARVO Analysis - Deny: No evidence of denial tactics - Attack: No attacks on trauma survivors or accusers - Reverse victim/offender: Actually works against victim-blaming tendencies in religious contexts - Emotional cues and rhetoric: Appropriately validates trauma experiences, promotes accountability for harmful responses ## 🎯 Conclusion The Book of Job provides a biblical foundation for trauma-informed ministry that prioritizes presence over explanations, validates emotional expression, and accepts the mystery of suffering. Rather than rushing to theological explanations or practical advice, effective biblical counseling mirrors Jesus' gentle approach to broken people. The key insight is that our response to traumatized individuals has the power to either compound their suffering or begin their healing journey, making our training in trauma-informed care not just helpful but biblically mandated. ## 🧱 Refactor Appendix ### 📚 Literature Split Pad ### [H1] Trauma responses intensify or diminish suffering > [!quote] [Biblical Counseling That Actually Heals: Lessons From Job](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fhnfu --- ## Full Transcript [00:00] Welcome to the wonderful world of [00:01] Remnant Radio. My name is Michael [00:03] Roundtree and today we're going to be [00:05] talking about a beginner's guide to [00:07] traumainformed [00:08] counsel. [00:10] [music] [00:11] We This is really a part two where in [00:13] the prior episode I talked about is [00:15] traumainformed care even biblical. A lot [00:18] of people say no, it's not. So I [00:20] encourage you to go back and watch this. [00:21] But this episode we're going to get [00:23] practical because the Bible very [00:25] directly addresses this subject. How do [00:27] you respond when suffering people come [00:30] to you in their grief, in their [00:32] depression, in their anxiety, in their [00:35] agony? How do we respond to traumatized [00:38] people? And the book of Job is a book [00:40] about trauma. We're talking about a guy [00:42] who lost everything. Lost his family, [00:44] lost his money, lost his health, he lost [00:47] everything. And it's a it's a book [00:50] marked by long speeches. Now, have you [00:52] ever wondered why there are so many long [00:54] speeches in the book of Job? Well, [00:57] here's one major reason, and it has to [00:59] do with the a major purpose of the book [01:02] of Job, which is to show us this that [01:05] how we respond to suffering people [01:08] intensifies or diminishes their [01:11] suffering. How we respond to suffering [01:13] people either intensifies or diminishes [01:16] their suffering. your first response and [01:18] your ongoing response to a traumatized [01:20] person who comes to you has that kind of [01:23] power. It's hard to imagine that someone [01:25] like Job could suffer more than he did. [01:28] And yet he did suffer more because of [01:31] his friend's bad response. And so my [01:34] approach today practically we're going [01:37] to walk through three ways of not to [01:39] respond to suffering and three ways of [01:42] responding to suffering as it's outlined [01:45] in the book of Job. We're going to use [01:47] Job's friends as a case study. So number [01:49] one, how do you respond when that person [01:51] comes to you and they're really [01:52] suffering? Number one, don't try to [01:55] explain their suffering. Don't try to [01:58] explain it. Here's Zofar, one of Job's [02:00] friends in 11:es 5-6. He says, "But oh [02:04] that God would speak and open his lips [02:05] to you and that he would tell you the [02:06] secrets of wisdom, for he is manifold in [02:09] understanding. Know then that God exacts [02:11] of you less than your guilt deserves." [02:14] In other word, hey, I've got an [02:16] explanation for your suffering. You [02:18] sinned. That's the reason you're [02:20] suffering like this. Scholars uh [02:23] academics who who comment on this is [02:25] it's sort of a refrain amongst Job's [02:27] friends that like, hey, sin caused this. [02:29] They have a name for it. They call it [02:31] retribution theology. And it's an [02:34] oversimplistic way of looking at the [02:36] world. And and Job is meant to sort of [02:39] punch through this idea and false [02:42] expectation that hey, if I do [02:44] righteously, everything good is going to [02:46] happen to me. And if I sin, then bad [02:49] things are going to happen to me. We see [02:51] this today in the prosperity gospel. And [02:54] and it's a it's you know a simple look [02:57] at the gospels where you look at Jesus [02:58] and it's like he's a man acquainted with [03:00] grief of tremendous sorrow and suffering [03:03] culminating the cross yet he lived a [03:05] perfect life. Don't try to explain [03:07] people's suffering whether it be with [03:08] ret ret ret ret ret ret ret ret ret ret [03:09] ret ret ret ret ret ret ret ret ret ret [03:09] retribution theology or through some [03:10] other form. Uh what people need is [03:13] compassion more than they need [03:15] explanations. And ways that I see this [03:18] commonly today one of the most one of [03:20] the most common I see is everything [03:21] happens for a reason. Now I'm one who [03:24] believes in sovereignty and you know God [03:27] is over all things even evil even [03:29] suffering and all the but but I don't I [03:31] don't say that to people who are trumps [03:32] that oh okay well the reason this [03:34] terrible thing happened to you is [03:36] because everything happens for a reason. [03:38] One of the worst is God needed another [03:41] angel and that's why this person died. I [03:42] mean, first of all, people don't turn [03:44] into angels when they die. But I hear [03:45] people actually say that this kind of [03:48] well-intentioned ad explanation is [03:51] actually damaging to suffering people. [03:53] It intensifies the trauma that they've [03:55] already suffered and we don't want to do [03:56] that. Don't try to explain their [03:58] suffering. The second one uh is don't [04:02] blame victims. And we already saw that [04:04] in the retribution theology where he [04:06] says you God exacts of you less than [04:08] your guilt deserve. Like hey, you [04:10] deserve this. But this one takes it to [04:12] the next level. This is Bildad, another [04:14] friend of Job in chapter 8:4 because [04:17] remember Job lost his whole family. [04:18] Windstorm breaks through and uh and the [04:20] whole house collapsed on his children [04:22] that are feasting together. And but hey, [04:26] Bildad uh has not just an explanation, [04:28] but he takes it further. He says, "Your [04:30] children sinned against him, so he gave [04:32] them over to their rebellion." So he's [04:34] explaining it, but he's also blaming the [04:36] children for dying. like they died in [04:40] this way because they were rebellious [04:42] people. And we know that's not true. [04:45] First of all, Job at the beginning of [04:46] the book, it says that he offered [04:48] sacrifices for his children every day. [04:50] And but at the end of the book, you see [04:52] that Job spoke what was right about God [04:55] and they spoke what was wrong. So this [04:56] is a completely wrong explanation and [04:58] it's one that blames the victims. They [05:00] blame Job. They blame Job's children. [05:04] Now as a charismatic one who believes in [05:07] all the gifts of the Holy Spirit for [05:08] today where I see this very commonly is [05:10] in healing ministry where somebody says [05:13] oh well this happened because of such [05:15] and such sin in your life it's overly [05:18] simplistic. Now the reality is that we [05:20] know James chapter 5 for instance that [05:23] sometimes sin can be a cause of sickness [05:27] but there's not this perfect onetoone [05:29] connection. In John chapter 9, another [05:31] verse says, "Hey, this wasn't this man's [05:33] not blind because of his own sin or his [05:35] parents' sin, uh, but for the glory of [05:37] God." There was this broader broader [05:40] purpose and reason that was mysterious [05:42] to them. And and faith healers tend to [05:45] remove that mystery and they end up [05:47] blaming the victims for their own [05:50] suffering. Of course, this extends [05:51] beyond just healing ministry. One of the [05:54] most egregious forms of it is when [05:55] somebody somebody comes to you when [05:57] they've suffered the trauma of abuse. [05:59] It's super common to to blame victims. [06:04] And one of the ways we that we can blame [06:06] victims is it can be a by a question [06:09] that seems innocent. It's like not [06:11] necessarily intending to just smack a [06:14] hammer over them, but that effectively [06:16] is actually what happens. So, take for [06:17] instance, somebody comes to you and [06:18] they've been sexually abused and your [06:20] question is, "Well, well, what were you [06:22] wearing when it happened?" Or, "How did [06:24] you let this happen?" These kinds of [06:27] questions imply guilt. Well, the reason [06:30] this person did this is because you wore [06:33] such and such or you put yourself in the [06:35] wrong time, in the wrong place, the [06:37] wrong setting, and this is your fault or [06:39] even partially your fault. And that is [06:41] not what you want to do in times of [06:44] sexual abuse. Job's friends specialized [06:47] in blaming people for their suffering. [06:50] Don't do that. Don't blame people for [06:52] their suffering. Now, this is not to say [06:54] like that suffering is never somebody's [06:56] fault. Like, you know, if somebody gets [06:58] really drunk and has a giant wreck, it's [07:00] clearly their fault. But, and so that [07:04] causality can exist, but when somebody [07:07] is coming to you with trauma, your first [07:09] response is not like blame is not to [07:12] blame them. And and really we should [07:14] just stay away from blame altogether. [07:16] Don't blame victims. Number three, be [07:20] slow to advise. Be slow to advise. uh [07:25] Jack Deer who uh when he was going [07:27] through some uh intense therapy and [07:29] counseling for some family situations, [07:31] their therapist would say that would [07:34] actually forbid like when somebody [07:36] unveils their heart and their deepest [07:38] vulnerability and trauma, the therapist [07:41] would say it it's forbidden that you [07:44] that you should all over that person. [07:46] You should do this. You should do that. [07:49] That's not what the person needs to [07:50] hear. They don't need to hear advice in [07:52] that moment. Bildad again in chapter 8 [07:55] uh the next few verses verses five and [07:57] six he says if you will seek God and [07:59] plead with the Almighty for mercy if [08:01] you're pure and upright surely he will [08:03] rouse himself for you and restore your [08:05] rightful habitation guys this sounds a [08:08] whole lot like pray and read your Bible [08:10] more and you won't be depressed and I [08:12] hear major evangelical figures saying [08:15] this very thing just pray and read your [08:17] Bible more and you won't be depressed be [08:20] slow to advise now I'm not praying and [08:23] reading your Bible is a good thing. And [08:24] praying and reading your Bible is [08:26] something that can give you joy and can [08:28] secure your hope in Jesus. And and so I [08:31] I'm not saying like it's a it's a [08:33] terrible form of advice, but when [08:35] somebody's coming to you with intense [08:36] trauma or even if they're coming to you [08:38] and and and they're just saying like I I [08:40] just feel so downcast if if you're just [08:43] hurling all kinds of advice, you should [08:46] do this, you should do that, you're [08:47] shutting all over them, be slow to [08:50] advise. There's a place for advice, but [08:52] be slow to advise. Like apples of gold [08:55] and settings of silver, so is a word [08:56] spoken at the right time. Okay, so we've [09:00] I've given you three things not to do. [09:03] Don't try to explain it. Don't blame the [09:05] victim. Be slow to advice and or or [09:08] don't rush into advice, could put it [09:10] that way. But now, let's talk about the [09:13] positive side of this. What should we do [09:16] whenever somebody comes to us with [09:18] intense suffering? How to respond to [09:20] trauma. And this first one is the number [09:23] one. I would call it primary. It's super [09:25] important. Offer the ministry of [09:29] presence. The ministry of presence. This [09:32] is Job 2:13. When his friends first [09:36] heard about and then visited Job, when [09:39] they first arrived, it says this. They [09:41] sat with him on the ground for seven [09:43] days and seven nights, and no one spoke [09:44] a word to them, for they saw that his [09:46] suffering was very great. This was the [09:49] one thing that Job's friends did well. [09:52] And if they just did that and never [09:54] opened their mouths, it would have been [09:56] a lot better off for them. And it would [09:58] have been better for Job because he [10:00] because he would have suffered less. So [10:02] offer the ministry of presence. Just be [10:04] with somebody. Sit in silence with [10:06] somebody. Your role as a friend is not [10:09] to try to fix their suffering, not to [10:11] try to explain their suffering. Be [10:13] there. Cry with them. Grieve with them. [10:15] Listen with them. Be present. I'm [10:18] thinking about a a time in my life where [10:20] I suffered something very traumatically [10:22] and one of my co-hosts on the show, [10:23] Michael Miller, he would just sit with [10:25] me and I just call him and just talk and [10:27] sometimes cry and he would just listen [10:30] and he didn't have a whole bunch of [10:32] advice. I didn't need advice and that he [10:34] just would be there for me and and there [10:37] was a time in his life when uh when I [10:38] did the same for him and that's what a [10:40] that's what a a friend does. A friend is [10:44] there for you. They offer you the [10:47] ministry of presence. That's huge. [10:49] Number two, make space for lament. I [10:54] mentioned earlier the long speeches, but [10:56] it's not just Job's friends. Job g [10:58] himself gives nine long speeches in the [11:01] book of Job. And most of them are [11:03] laments. And this is an important part [11:05] of healing. Freedom to lament. Dr. Diane [11:08] Langberg, who uh who specializes in [11:11] trauma, she says this, "Trauma healing [11:13] always requires tears, talking, and [11:16] time." That's a huge deal. And when [11:19] you're sitting with that person and [11:21] they're just talking, be prepared. They [11:24] will sometimes say extreme things. Look [11:27] at what Job says. Job 3, uh, he says [11:30] this. He says, "Let the day perish on [11:32] which I was born. Let that day be [11:34] darkness. May God above not seek it. Why [11:36] did I not die at birth? Come out from [11:38] the womb and expire. Job chapter 10, he [11:42] goes on, I loathe my life. I will give [11:44] free utterance to my complaint. I will [11:46] speak in the bitterness of my soul. And [11:49] then Job 16, he says, I was at ease and [11:52] and God broke me apart. He seized me by [11:55] the neck and dashed me in the pieces. [11:58] Now, in the context of trauma and in the [12:00] context of lamenting, God actually [12:02] doesn't condemn this response from Job. [12:05] We see this later in the book. Job 42:7. [12:07] He says, "My anger burns against you." [12:09] That's Elephaz speaking to Elephaz, one [12:10] of the three friends, and against your [12:13] two friends. For you have not spoken of [12:15] me what is right as my servant Job has. [12:19] And I question, it's like, wait, God, [12:21] how could you say that Job spoke about [12:23] God what is right when he when he just [12:25] seemingly accused God of breaking him [12:27] apart and seizing him by the neck? Well, [12:29] you'll also see that there are other [12:30] times when he gives God praise and uh [12:33] and when he and when he honors him and [12:36] extols him. And you'll see this in [12:38] laments. And for instance, in the lament [12:40] psalms, there will always be this kind [12:41] of positive turn. But and so these [12:44] aren't expressions of him outright [12:46] giving up on God. [12:49] They're expressions of just the [12:50] intensity of his pain. And as Diane [12:53] Lingberg says that we need a a place to [12:56] voice our anguish and trauma will [12:59] sometimes voice itself in saying extreme [13:02] things. Now I will put one one word of [13:03] caution here. Somebody comes to you and [13:04] says I'm planning to take my life that [13:06] would be an extreme thing that you do [13:07] you do need to immediately respond to [13:09] and you need to report report that share [13:11] that with somebody uh you need to take [13:13] the proper actions when someone is [13:15] speaking in those ways. So there does we [13:18] do need some discernment here. But if [13:20] somebody's simply just saying some [13:22] extreme things, we need to be careful [13:25] about immediately just condemning those [13:28] statements. Victims feel safe with you [13:31] when they feel safe to lament. There's a [13:34] big place for this in the Bible. And God [13:36] makes space for us to lament. That's [13:38] what so much of the Psalms are about. So [13:41] make space for lament. That's number [13:42] two. And here's the last one. Honor the [13:45] complexity of pain. Honor the complexity [13:48] of pain. That's what retribution [13:50] theology doesn't do. It leaves no space [13:52] for minis mystery. It just says this [13:55] caused this and that caused that. And [13:57] God is infinite. He is mysterious. He is [14:00] not that simple. And and one of the [14:03] major themes of the book of Job is that [14:05] behind this world of cause and effect [14:08] that we see, there are spiritual causes [14:11] that go beyond what we can see. This [14:14] there can be spiritual warfare at play. [14:16] And so in Job chapters 1 and two, at the [14:19] onset of this of this suffering, just [14:22] before it, you have Satan coming before [14:25] God and proposing various tests of I'll [14:27] take away this and I'll take away that [14:29] and I'll curse you to your face and so [14:30] on. And so the the point of this and [14:33] you'll see various moments throughout [14:35] the speeches where uh spiritual warfare [14:38] comes comes to the surface and and it's [14:42] the it's the the way this book is trying [14:45] to communicate that suffering is far [14:47] more complex and there are mysterious [14:50] forces at work that you can't always [14:53] know and you can't always explain [14:56] because suffering is not tidy. Neither [14:59] should our explanations be tidy. We need [15:01] to accept that suffering is often a mis [15:04] mystery that we may never be able to [15:06] explain in this life. There's not always [15:08] just this onetoone connection between [15:10] you sinned in this way and therefore [15:12] that happened. And when you can accept [15:14] that suffering is a mystery where you're [15:18] better able to minister to broken [15:20] people. In fact, I would say one of the [15:22] best things that you can say to a [15:23] traumatized person when they come to you [15:25] is, "I don't know why this happened, but [15:28] I'm so sorry that it did." Those kinds [15:31] of words really, really help. And I just [15:34] want to repeat a line that I said at the [15:36] beginning. I said, "How you respond to [15:38] trauma either intensifies suffering or [15:41] diminishes it." Good theology should [15:44] create the safest people in the world, [15:46] but if it's not married to compassion [15:49] and humility, it produces Job's friends [15:52] instead of Jesus. One of my favorite [15:54] verses in the gospel deals with this [15:56] very issue. It's Matthew 12:20 and it's [15:59] a quote of Isaiah 42:3, [16:02] but it's fulfilled in the ministry of [16:04] Jesus and how he responded to broken [16:06] people. It said, "A bruised reed," [16:08] that's a picture of a broken person. A [16:10] bruised reed he will not break and a [16:13] smoldering wick he will not quench until [16:15] he brings justice to victory. What we [16:18] see in this verse is that Jesus didn't [16:19] tell people barely hanging on just pray [16:21] harder. Rather what he does is he moves [16:24] toward them with gentleness with the [16:26] ministry of presence summarized by the [16:29] name that we see in the book of Matthew [16:31] Emmanuel. God with us. When somebody is [16:34] really suffering one of the best things [16:36] you can do is just be with them. And if [16:39] you do it, they will feel the presence [16:41] of Jesus being with them, ministering [16:44] through you. And that's how the body of [16:46] Christ is supposed to minister to one [16:48] another. So there's some counsel for [16:51] traumainformed counsel straight from the [16:54] book of Job. I encourage you to go back [16:56] and watch part one if you didn't [16:57] already. If you enjoyed this episode, [16:59] like, comment, and share. And and if [17:02] you'd like to know more about what [17:03] Remnant Radio has going on, there's a [17:06] link in this description for our [17:07] newsletter. We have conferences. We [17:08] usually do one in the winter and one in [17:10] the fall. We have conferences coming up. [17:12] We have ecourses that we offer. Ecourses [17:15] on deliverance, on spiritual gifts, on [17:17] the nyine creed and basic theology. So, [17:20] if you want to find out more about those [17:21] things, click on the newsletter. We [17:23] promise not to spam you. We we send one [17:25] email a week and you can opt out [17:26] whenever you want. 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