Ed Helms Answers Your Hard Questions  ## Metadata - Author: [[Hard Fork]] - Full Title: Ed Helms Answers Your Hard Questions - Category: #podcasts - URL: https://share.snipd.com/episode/2972ede8-43e0-4dd2-b821-9788760c1c1e ## Document Notes ## Highlights - **Cold War Moon Nuclear Plan** - During the Cold War, a plan was made to shoot a nuclear warhead at the moon to intimidate the Soviets. - The project was abandoned as research showed high risks of the warhead returning to Earth. Transcript: Kevin Roose That you could share? Oh, wow. Ed Helms Well, do nuclear warheads count as tech? Yeah, sure. Okay, great. This one's amazing. This was the Cold War, the 1950s. Cold War did not bring out the best in us, as it turns out. A plan was hatched to shoot a nuclear warhead at the moon. And you might be wondering why. Why would anyone think this is a good idea? The thinking was that, you know, we're in fierce competition with the Soviets. Everyone's sort of living in nuclear existential dread. If we can hit the moon with a nuclear warhead, the Soviets will be so terrified that we'll win the Cold War. And the research showed that it was very likely that it could easily miss the moon, slingshot around the gravitational field, come right back and hit us. Casey Newton Which frankly would have served us right. Yeah. You know what? Ed Helms That's a fair punishment. And so eventually it was not followed through on, thank God. ([Time 0:03:38](https://share.snipd.com/snip/de6067df-b63d-4e0d-816b-9a2f8b7ee8c5)) - **Tech Use Like 1990s Cigarettes** - Our device use is harmful yet deeply integrated into life, resembling cigarettes in the 1990s. - Like cigarettes, quitting is hard since tech use is essential but toxic. Transcript: Ed Helms So I, I actually have kind of a macro take on this, which is that we're at a point with device usage where it's clearly bad for us. Like it's clearly harming us. And so I, it feels like cigarettes in the nineties, right? Where it was, everybody knows, but like, we're, come on, we're still doing it. Right. And all the, all the sort of corporate interest in it is still just sort of dumping money and more advancement into it. And in the nineties, like there were releasing better cigarettes and healthier cigarettes and, and, uh, but everyone still knew it was bad and it feels like we will I hope at some point Recognize that or it will come to that inflection point in the same way that cigarette smoking did where it just like no where we're just cultures as a society we're like this is actually Terrible. ([Time 0:14:06](https://share.snipd.com/snip/ad99007f-f46f-4b9b-8ca2-c1f84e896594)) - **Manage Family Photo Privacy** - To prevent grandparents from posting kids' photos publicly, offer a private shared photo library instead. - This alternative keeps shared moments private and satisfies everyone's desire for photos. Transcript: Speaker 4 Hi, Kevin and Casey. My name's Charlene. I love your podcast. Thank you so much for doing it. I listen every week. I am listening up in Canada. My question for Ed is a little internet privacy related. How do I break it very gently to my Gen X mom that I do not want her posting any pictures of her future grandkids onto her Facebook wall. Kevin Roose Oh, interesting. Ed Helms Oh, yeah. What do you think, Ed? That's a good one. Like, I'm a Gen X dad, and I'm like, no way am I putting pictures of my kids. Kevin Roose You don't put any pictures of your kids online? Ed Helms No, nowhere. And I have had that conversation with family members, like, please, you know, pull back on this or that, sometimes you're just off at like your cousin's house and they're taking pictures And it's all great. It's like a family barbecue. But you just have to be a little careful. I mean, there's just no substitute for direct conversation about this. Although you could consult Chachi PT on how to broach the subject in a tactful and tender way. Casey Newton That would work. The thought that comes to mind for me is like maybe the way to have the conversation is to present an alternative, right? And say like, hey, like the baby's coming next month. We're all very excited. We would like for you to not post these photos sort of in public forums like Facebook, but we would love you to post them to like our shared iPhoto library where only our family members Can see it. And we're going to get it started for you. And I'm going to add it to your phone manually. And now you're going to get an endless stream of photos and you can share all of them this way. That might, I think, help the situation. Kevin Roose Yeah, I know a lot of families with young kids who do this either on the Photos app, you can sort of create this shared album and post photos there, and people can comment on them. It sort of feels like social media, but without the publicness of it. Or you can do a WhatsApp thread or a group text or something. But yeah, I think that's ([Time 0:18:22](https://share.snipd.com/snip/04c930b6-44e5-4fbe-ae2b-6c1ae8772c7e)) - **Streamline Calendar Invites** - When coordinating calendar invites, send shared invites directly instead of expecting separate entries. - Understand that some people may prefer handling their own calendars, so clarify preferences early. Transcript: Kevin Roose And this listener asked us not to use her name in case the friend listens to the show. Speaker 4 I've recently started doing some admin work for a really good friend. Ed Helms Most things are going really well, but when we need to meet virtually or do a call, I contact my friend to find a time, tell her I'm flexible as my calendar is a lot less slammed than hers. Like just send me a calendar invite at a time that works for you and I'll make it work. The first time I did this, I waited and there was no calendar invite a few hours later. So I was like, do you want me to send you an invite? And she said, no, I put it on my calendar. But without adding me, she wants me to make my own calendar invite on my calendar. So like just two calendars off in space, not collaborating and with no visibility between them. Casey Newton I think this is insane and very weird as well as unproductive, self-defeating, and frankly inconsiderate. She definitely doesn't think it's weird at all. Ed Helms I've worked in offices for many, many years, and I've never encountered this. Am I being hypercritical about this or is it as weird as I think it is? Casey Newton What do you think, Ed? Ed Helms Well, I want to make sure I understand correctly. So she's really upset that her friend just feels like she wants to have separate calendars. Casey Newton And is not sort of adding her on the calendar invite. It'd be like if I were like wanting to hang out with Kevin and I added onto my calendar, hang out with Kevin at noon, and then I didn't add Kevin. So now he has to go make his own calendar entry being like hanging out with Casey. Kevin Roose Right, right, right. I mean, what occurs to me is like, I'm not sure if this friend of hers understands that you can like do a shared calendar invite without giving the other person like access to your entire Calendar. Ed Helms Yeah, it feels a little bit like generational because that's my take like, I just manage my own calendar. I find myself accepting calendar invites here and there, but I rarely send them out. That's a flex. Yeah. Well, I don't know. I just, I don't think that way. I'm just like, it's an old school way of doing it. Everyone manages their own calendar. You, you agree on a date and time and an email or a text or whatever, and then you add it to your own calendar. Kevin Roose But, yeah, I don't know. Now, here's a question for you both. Do you let other people see your calendar? Because you can give people access to be able to see all the appointments on your calendar, and I'm curious if either of you do that. Ed Helms Ed? I have someone that I work closely with who has full access to my calendar. But, of course, I have multiple calendars My wife has access to another calendar, and I don't know if anybody other than me has access to all of them. Yeah. Casey Newton I'm basically the same. I have an assistant who can see my calendar, and I have a boyfriend who can see my calendar, but that's it. Kevin Roose How about you? My wife can see my calendar, but because there's some security settings around it, it only says busy or not busy. It doesn't like what I'm doing. Interesting. Ed Helms So that's an interesting way to do it. But also what is the working relationship of these two people? Like if they're in an organization where this standard is set, then yeah, it's a reasonable expectation to have. But I think if you're dealing with two people in different organizations that are collaborating, then you're just allowed to assert your preferences. Kevin Roose Right. So for our anonymous listener, I think our advice is make sure that your friend who you're doing some admin work for knows how calendars work and that you can create shared events without Sort of turning over your entire calendar. And if it's not an issue that results from a lack of understanding, then maybe have a conversation about like how much harder it is to operate in this close collaboration without being Able to have the same calendar invites. Casey Newton I have slightly different advice, which is if I were her, I would just take the initiative to just send all the calendar invites. Like if it is a technical issue, I think it's gonna be easier for her to be like, let's agree on a time. Great. I'm sending you the calendar invitation. Now the problem is solved. And if she's not open to that, this friendship is over. Ed Helms I'm going to add another layer to that. Do it. Which is that first just assess whatever cultural difference your calendar culture you guys are dealing with because this person may really not like to use calendar invites for any Number of reasons. And whatever you're used to is ([Time 0:20:35](https://share.snipd.com/snip/8d3ebcfe-e33e-425e-8a37-7c7c7e743aa2)) - **Ignore Phone Scammers** - Avoid engaging with phone scammers to prevent escalating risks and harming vulnerable individuals. - Ignoring scammers protects your safety and avoids worsening their difficult situations. Transcript: Casey Newton Resonate with. Hey, Kevin and Casey. Love the pod. My name is Calvin. I'm from the East Bay. And here's my hard question. I got a lot of scam emails, texts, and phone calls. Kevin Roose And I love stringing them on for as long as possible or just making them mad. My wife hates that I do this, but it brings me great joy. Here's my dilemma. Recent reports have come out revealing that many of these scammers are being trafficked, extorted, and forced to do this work against their will. It has become a form of modern slavery. I know this is true for some of the people I probably interact with. So, is it wrong for me to mess with these scammers? Should I just ignore them, or can I keep having fun, even if it feels morally complex? Thanks. Also, last thing, I know an heiress that recently came into billions of dollars and wants to support a tech podcast for people. Send me your socials and we can make it happen. Casey Newton That's intriguing. We got to follow up with him. Well, what do you think, Ed? I imagine you might get these texts. How do you react when you get them? Ed Helms I'm just cold ignore. It's so much easier that way. Can see getting a little bit of like evil glee out of sort of taunting somebody that's out to scam you. But you're also opening yourself up to more risk that way. You'd really never know who you're talking to, what they know about you. And like, just don't open that can of worms at all. Casey Newton You know, I have to say, I think Ed's approach is the right one here. Like what Calvin told us is true. The people who are doing this, like for the most part, this was not their chosen lot in life. Like something has gone horribly wrong for them that they have to participate in this. And you're just like taking somebody who has a very hard life and making it even harder. So while I get that it is so satisfying to text these people back, and I will admit I have texted these people back and cursed them and insulted them. I have gone to a place of just not doing it. And I would also just appeal to Calvin's self interest because my understanding is even if you are just responding to say like essentially screw you, you do get identified as a warm phone Number, and that information is shared with other scammers. So by responding in this way, Calvin, you may be making your own problem worse. Kevin Roose Now, how long do you guys think that we will actually have human scammers calling people? Like, how long before all of these are just hyper-convincing AIs speed dialing people? Casey Newton I mean, if you believe the research about persuasion that we've been talking about on the show, you know, might not be all that much longer, but I have to say, Kevin, that might be like A human rights victory. Cause then maybe they would take these people that are like locked up in these scam centers and actually let them go home. Yeah. Kevin Roose That's ([Time 0:24:59](https://share.snipd.com/snip/77040d24-df8c-4af7-bd6a-1413240c23b9)) - **Report Crypto Security Flaws** - When finding crypto security flaws, report them to projects through bug bounty programs. - This approach strengthens systems and may earn rewards legally and ethically. Transcript: Casey Newton Questions. This is from a listener who wonders, when did headphones become optional? Kevin Roose Hi, my name is Sarah and I'm calling from Stratford, Ontario, Canada. I have noticed that there's an epidemic these days of people watching videos out loud on their phone in public. At restaurants, movie theaters, on trains. And ([Time 0:30:31](https://share.snipd.com/snip/b0fa669f-2441-4f78-928e-b8e9baa7fb73)) - **Handle Loud Public Phone Audio** - Politely ask people in public to use headphones when playing audio aloud. - If ignored, try lightheartedly engaging them with questions to encourage turning down the volume. Transcript: Kevin Roose Hi, my name is Sarah and I'm calling from Stratford, Ontario, Canada. I have noticed that there's an epidemic these days of people watching videos out loud on their phone in public. At restaurants, movie theaters, on trains. And I've tried various different ways to politely ask people if they have headphones or if they could turn off the sound on their games or their videos on their phones to varying degrees Of success. Often people are quite rude to me and just flat out say no. So I was wondering how you would handle this. Ed Helms Thank you. I love this question. Ed Helms, how would you handle this? It sounds like she's handling it exactly right. You say something. And I rarely see this. I've seen it. I did see it on an airplane recently, and I was stunned. Because on an airplane, you have to listen so loud. Right. And this person had their phone just cranked all the way up watching like a basketball game or something super loud. And yeah, I think I think did you say something? I didn't. I was I was a few. Casey Newton He can't say so. Do you know what social media is going to do to him if he says something? Ed Helms I was a few rows back. It wasn't that bad. I just but I could tell for me it wasn't that bad, but I could just tell it was crazy. But yeah, I don't, I don't get it. I feel like certain there's just like some people don't understand how awful that is. It's so true. Casey Newton The reason I was so excited to get this question is because I see this all the time now, every copy. I just spent two weeks in New York. I would say every other subway car I was on, somebody was doing exactly this thing. Their behavior seems insane to me. I'm an extremely conflict avoidant person. I would never once think to do what Sarah did and actually ask these people to maybe turn it down. Although that does seem like the right thing to do. So I don't know what I could do. The only thing I'm left thinking you could do is try to guess this person's private keys and steal their crypto. What would you do? Or put your own headphones on. Kevin Roose What I would do, and I don't encounter this that much because I don't spend a lot of time in places where this is going on. Casey Newton Kevin only takes private cars everywhere. Kevin Roose No, but I think my strategy, if the sort of earnest request to put on headphones or something or turn down the volume failed, I think I would just start asking them questions. I'd be like, hey, what game you playing there? What are the rules of Temple Run? What's your high score? You just troll them. Yeah. Like I see you're watching a basketball game. Like fill me in. Who's the who are the hot draft picks this season? And eventually maybe they just like catch on and get so annoyed that they turn it off and do something else. I actually I would love I don't think I could ever do that, ([Time 0:30:37](https://share.snipd.com/snip/55b34567-8ac5-4f52-a761-6658a362b796)) - **AI Use Calls for Transparency** - Calling out junior employees for using AI is hypocritical if senior staff use it secretly. - Transparency about AI use could become a norm as the technology matures. Transcript: Kevin Roose Do you think about this? Is it hypocritical to call out a junior employee for using AI when you are using it yourself? Yes, it is. Ed Helms But I also think that we're just in this early moment with AI and we haven't quite figured out how to navigate these things. It seems like maybe everyone should just be owning their AI use a little more transparently, but that sort of diminishes the magic of AI. I guess people are thrilled to sort of present things as their own ideas. Casey Newton I think this is sort of a strange question for this reason. Most of the developers I know who are using AI understand that everyone is using AI. And that if you solved a problem using AI, most people would be like, yeah, like we're all solving problems with AI. So I'm curious if Scott were here right now, I would say, why is this an issue? Is it that the junior dev is suggesting really bad suggestions from the AI? Because if that's the case, then I think AI isn't really the issue, right? The issue is that your junior colleague is sort of bringing bad ideas into the workplace. And that is worth calling out and saying, hey, you know, this actually wouldn't work and here's why. Kevin Roose Yeah, I agree with you both. I am, I think we just need to like, presume that unless specified otherwise, people are going to start using AI in their jobs, basically whatever their job is. I was hearing a talk from the economist Tyler Cowen the other day who teaches at George Mason University was talking about how he now requires all of his students to use an AI chatbot for Their assignments. And he doesn't consider it plagiarism. He just grades the finished product. And I think that's how we should evaluate work at our jobs too, is like, is it good or not? And if it's not good, then you used AI wrong or you didn't use it in the right ways. And if it's good and you used AI, more power to you. What matters is the finished product. Ed Helms I just am not sure, especially in an academic context, if that, if the finished product represents how ([Time 0:37:20](https://share.snipd.com/snip/f279f29f-11b7-44f7-a608-4ecc7db48ba8)) - **Understanding AI Resistance** - Some resist AI due to fear it diminishes their intelligence or threatens their job. - AI snobbery often masks underlying anxieties about technology and career security. Transcript: Ed Helms I would love that. I would put that amount of effort into it. And I will say, like, I'm a musician. I really struggle to remember song lyrics. I can't wait till I can put on glasses and just read song lyrics and suddenly have, like, a thousand songs at my disposal. Totally. That sounds really, really fun and cool. All right. Casey Newton We're going to get emails from people who say that they've invented this. So we'll pass those along to you. Okay, great. All right. Now let's consider the perspective of somebody who is just starting out in their career. This listener asked to be anonymous for fear of backlash from colleagues, but she emailed the following. What do you all think about people who are AI snobs? I am a NASA scientist, and surprisingly, I found that for an organization full of scientists, there's a lot of snobbery over being better than using AI. People basically act like those who use AI are too stupid to solve problems themselves, and they are smarter than everyone else because they are capable of an existence free of AI assistance. I've even heard, quote, even if AI can help you solve a problem faster, why would you avoid the cognitive stimulus? That's the whole fun of being alive. So I guess my question is, how do you respond to people who keep acting like they are better than you simply because they don't use AI? Wow. Ed Helms Have you heard a version of this, Ed? No, I'm not sure I've heard this bubble up. My hunch is that those people are probably lying, that they are using AI behind closed doors. But I haven't encountered anti-AI snobbery. Oh, I have. Kevin Roose I mean, I think there are people who are reacting this way basically as a fear response. Like they worry that if they use AI and it makes them smarter, then maybe they weren't that smart to begin with, or maybe they're going to lose their job. Or I think there are a lot of reasons that people react this way to AI, including the fact that they just cannot believe that a computer could do what they do better than them. And everyone seems to have a version of this for their own job. Like everyone kind of thinks that AI is going to take everyone else's jobs, but me, I'm the special one, and what I do can't be replicated. And I see that attitude a lot. Casey Newton Yeah. I mean, this is one where I want to be careful because look, I do believe if you have a job and you don't want to use AI, you don't have to use AI if you don't want to. If you love the cognitive stimulus of everything you're doing, like that's great. Like you probably have a great job. How should you relate to people who do use AI? I would say with kindness, you know, particularly if they're using it well. And I think a lot of folks, and I would include myself among these people, do feel like it's giving me at least some kind of advantage in some set of things, you know? So I do believe that over the long run, more and more people are going to come around because they're going to see people like our emailer here just kind of doing well at their jobs. And they're going ([Time 0:40:51](https://share.snipd.com/snip/62cd0b50-ca7d-4d05-aec0-9a24a0d3eb71)) - **Navigating AI Tension in Relationships** - Respect your partner's AI skepticism and seek friends or groups to discuss AI interests. - Introduce AI benefits by addressing your partner's personal problems discreetly without pressure. Transcript: Casey Newton Kevin, Casey, and Ed. Dan here from Chicago. I'm a devout listener of the show. So I recently started a new relationship. And after sharing an episode of Hard Fork with my girlfriend, I realized that she hates AI. She has a visceral negative reaction anytime I mention something AI related, unless it's Adobe Illustrator or like A1 Steak Sauce. And it makes her so that she doesn't even want to entertain a thought about it. Now, this has become a real point of tension because I use AI in my everyday personal and professional life. And I'm really interested in these thornier questions around the future of work, society, and what it means to be human in this new era. So how can I navigate a situation where I can't even bring up something that is so intrinsic to my life with my significant other? Kevin, I'm especially curious to hear your thoughts, given that AI almost broke up your relationship, too. Thanks, guys. Kevin Roose Great question. Great question. Kevin, what are your thoughts? So, look, I have a lot of sympathy for this. I think a lot of people in my life are not as into AI as I am. My wife is sort of getting more interested in it. We talk about it sometimes, but for a long time, it was like, you know, she just, it wasn't of immediate concern to her. And so it was sort of my thing. And that's why it's so important when you're in that situation to start a podcast, because then you do actually have someone to talk about AI with without ruining your relationship. Ed Helms Ed, what do you think? Every relationship has things that are tough and that one person is into and another person isn't. And this feels very surmountable to me. A certain point, the culture will probably start to, you know, AI will start to just infiltrate his girlfriend's life in ways that makes her more open to it. But even if not, it just seems like find your buddy that you can have these conversations with. Casey Newton Yeah. I mean, I have to confess, this is not a problem I have in my relationship. If anything, the issue in my relationship is, could we talk about something other than AI? But, you know, I feel like in, you know, so many relationships, there is a subject like this. You know, like sports comes to mind, you know, like maybe you're obsessed with the Golden State Warriors and your partner isn't. And every time you bring it up, you know, you see them rolling their eyes. And I just think this speaks to the fact that, like, it helps to have people in your life other than your primary partner that you can just kind of distribute the weight of your interests In, you know? Kevin Roose Yeah, I mean, there are a lot of sort of AI clubs popping up around the country. I've met people when I've been out doing various events who say, you know, oh, I'm part of the local AI club. And this is a thing that I think is starting to emerge over the last couple of years. And so maybe if there's one in Chicago, you could sort of find the local AI club and join that and find a way to have a weekly discussion about these things. Casey Newton What do people do at AI club? Casey, the first rule of AI club is you don't talk about AI club. I walked right into that one. Kevin Roose But I will give my earnest piece of advice here because I think this is something really important is that people don't automatically buy that AI is going to be meaningful to them until They see something that they struggle with in their life that it is useful at solving. So I think one thing that you could do if you're in a relationship where one partner cares a lot about AI and the other person hates it is just to figure out like, what do they value? Like what things do they like doing? What do they struggle with? What are some places maybe at their job or in their personal life where they might be able to use AI and don't force it on them, but just maybe take one of those problems and just prompt an AI model with it and see if it solves something or does something interesting for them. And then show it to the partner. Maybe try to meet them where they are and make their interest organic rather than just like pretending that they're into it for your sake. Casey Newton Yeah, but I would also say like, take no for an answer from your partner here and like maybe just cool it on the AI talk for a while and, like, see if she brings it up at any point. And, like, maybe then you'll kind of have an entry point. But until then, I don't know if it's worth it. All right. ([Time 0:44:31](https://share.snipd.com/snip/be4188e8-c40c-4d57-853d-4c6e75aeb941)) - **Manage AI Anxiety Constructively** - Talk about AI fears in small doses and seek therapy to manage anxiety without burdening loved ones. - Emphasize hopeful paths and agency to keep conversations constructive and less frightening. Transcript: Kevin Roose Now, Ed, I'm curious to hear your take on this because it sounds like you may have a version of this yourself. You mentioned earlier that you are worried about the singularity and you're sort of terrified that it might be coming soon. So what should L do about trying to live in the moment, take advantage of the time that we have, but also avoid freaking out her friends and family? Ed Helms It's hard not to talk about something that is scaring you or that you're obsessing over. And this may sound glib, but I think she could benefit from a therapist. Someone that she really can explore these feelings with and help her process them, and then also give her an outlet where she's not burdening friends and family with that. Because the other thing is, you know, none of us really know what's coming. And so to be – and there are a lot of AI optimists out there, and maybe they're right. So to be kind of chicken little and gloom and doom, as much as it's not a choice, sometimes feels a little premature. And again, finding an outlet, a therapist, perhaps, to explore these feelings could be good. Casey Newton I'm glad you said that. I had the same thought. This really could benefit from therapy. And, you know, I guarantee you, Elle, you will not be the only person talking about your fears about an AI future in therapy. I think it's actually quite common here in the Bay Area for folks to talk to their therapists about that. You know, while I totally understand you're hesitant to bring everybody down with your fears about AI, I do think that part of living in a democracy is bringing up the things that you're Concerned about. And there's no reason why you couldn't take, maybe, you know, break it into small chunks and talk to your friends about things that you see out there that worry you. So if you see that all of a sudden the chatbots have gotten super sycophantic and you're reading stories about people having like mystical experiences with chatbots and convincing Themselves that they're the messiah and you worry about that technology like being used by young people, let's say, there's no reason why you shouldn't talk about that. In fact, I think you should talk about it. And I think one reason why we started this show, Kevin, was we like talking about these issues, and we want to get other people talking about them. So I totally hear you, Elle, on not wanting to be a bummer, but I think everyone's allowed to be a bummer at least 10 or 20% of the time, don't you, Kevin? Kevin Roose Yeah, although I should say, like, I spend a lot of time talking with people about AI in my life. And I have found that, like, when I'm in my sort of, like, gloomiest mood about it, when I'm feeling like my P-doom is quite high, I tend to not have good conversations with people. They sort of come away feeling like we're all screwed and there's nothing we can do about it. It sort of strips agency away from them when I talk about it like that. Whereas when I'm feeling more optimistic, I tend to have conversations that are just like sort of rooted in like wanting to help people understand things or like make them excited or Give them some hope for the future. And I think that when you give people a sense that they are not just like inexorably marching toward this future that they have no control over, I think it just goes a lot better. And so my advice for these like, you know, sort of AI doom crowd is always to like not frame things in terms of like what will happen no matter what, but like to sort of sketch out paths for People and say, well, if we make good decisions, it could go in a really good way. And if we don't, it could go in a really bad way. But like it's very important, I think, to not make people think that they just have no choice in the matter. Casey Newton What do you think, Ed? Ed Helms I don't know. I'm getting anxious talking about it, honestly. But in what I think is a good, healthy way. I do really like what you said, Casey, that we're allowed to be a bummer sometimes. And it is important to kind of be honest about where we're at with things with our communities and the people who care about us and love us. And also, if it's really feeling like an excessive burden, to seek help and assistance with it, whatever form that takes. Absolutely. ([Time 0:49:52](https://share.snipd.com/snip/f0babcdf-c875-4d42-aeeb-d6b432dd4993)) - **Tech Support with Grace** - Offer tech support to elderly parents by fixing issues quickly and preventing undoing. - Encourage curiosity gently while providing loving assistance to foster their engagement with technology. Transcript: Ed Helms Let's see. I give my mom, who's 85, a lot of tech support. And it can be quite frustrating. And I would love some advice on sort of moving through that with grace. And also to what extent it's necessary. There are times where it feels like this is just not something to get figured out. And is that okay? Casey Newton Kevin, what are your thoughts about that? Yeah. Kevin Roose So I have shifted my views on this recently. My mom also requires some tech support from time to time. And I'm not physically there, like in the same place as her. So I often end up doing it over the phone. And so what I have found is useful is to just fix things for her. Like, do not try to walk her through it. Just like the next time I am in the same place as her, just take her phone and fix all the things she doesn't like. There you go. And do it very quickly and make it very hard for her to undo those fixes. And so basically, I think that there is a point at which people, they just do not want to learn the entire process of like changing some settings on something. So if you can just sort of set it up for them, they are eternally grateful and you save yourself and them a lot of grief. Casey Newton I think that is a perfect answer. The only thing that I would add to it is to the extent that you feel like your mom may have any curiosity about technology, I do think it's fun to nurture it a little bit. Like, yes, I think you're almost always going to be better off just like fixing it. That's just an act of love that you can give your parents is fixing things for them. But you can also see if in the process of fixing that, you might share a little bit about how it works or what you think is interesting about it. See if that sparks anything for them. Maybe they'll go off and learn a little something themselves. I have to say, I talked to my mom this week and she told ([Time 0:54:10](https://share.snipd.com/snip/3779b2b1-dd0b-4eee-a571-52587b0e5bb2))