Even Heretics Deserve Rituals! With Jeremy Steele  🔗 **Source:** [Even Heretics Deserve Rituals! With Jeremy Steele](https://share.snipd.com/episode/0119f94a-b583-4e8a-99a3-62c2bb288d57) ## Highlights - **Rituals Are Millennia Of Practical Human Knowledge** - Rituals encode refined human knowledge with measurable psychological effects proven by modern science. - Jeremy Steele notes rituals were refined over millennia and continue to impact the brain regardless of belief in God. Transcript: Jeremy Steele So for millennia, humans have been meeting psychological needs through religious ritual for millennia, right? So that means it's being refined for millennia. And when things didn't work or didn't connect, they would not last, right? And so religious rituals and meditation practices represent a huge mass of human knowledge. And, you know, they have been studied by legitimate scientists. And it turns out it actually is true, which is not surprising because of the long development, but that these rituals do have very positive and real psychological effects and benefits. But when you are traumatized by the church, when you leave your faith, you don't have faith, you don't have a religious identity at all, or you're not sure what you believe. Generally, you don't engage in religious ritual. And what that means is that you lose out on this huge mass of human knowledge. ([Time 0:09:33](https://share.snipd.com/snip/eaf84cda-b7a1-447e-a8c2-214a8aad0033)) - **Remove God Language Keep The Method** - Do remove the supernatural language but keep ritual mechanics to access their psychological benefits. - Steele recommends keeping the methodology (movement, smell, repetition) while letting belief be optional. Transcript: Jeremy Steele I take rituals and meditation practices from all kinds of different religions. I remove the God part and I keep the methodology and the psychological work that's being done so that people can put whatever they believe or don't believe about God into the book, into The ritual. Dan Beecher Yeah. Talk to me a bit about the, because I, I, I can hear the idea that like some people might say, if you take God out of the ritual, then is the ritual even, does it even have any meaning anymore? Because this ritual was meant to be in church. We're talking about something like the Eucharist or something like lighting candles for saints or any of these sort of ritual things that happen in a church, in a synagogue, in a mosque Or whatever. Does God or the religious context, how does it change it? And what is it still doing? Jeremy Steele Yeah, I think that's a really great, people ask that all the time about this book. And, you know, the thing is, is that whether or not you believe in God, right? The, the actions, the, the physical actions that are taking place in these rituals, or the, the method behind the meditation practice, those all still function psychologically, Right. And, um, and so each chapter actually, there's a little bit of an intro of like, this is the religious background. Often there's, there's multiple religions, uh, that have similar practices. Right. And then there's a like psychological explanation of like, what's going in the brain. And so if you like to read words like parasympathetic nervous system, you will really love that part. And so what I say is like the God part, whatever you believe about spirituality, that can add a dimension. It can add labels to what's happening. But it doesn't change what's happening. Because what's happening is happening in your brain. At least, I mean, I'm a skeptic. So, like, I like science. Like. Fine. If you want to say it changes what's happening, great. ([Time 0:12:14](https://share.snipd.com/snip/50881d9c-8f17-46bd-93bf-a598225dd5c8)) - **Sacred Meals Create Material Connection And Accountability** - Food functions as a connecting modality in sacred meals because molecules cycle through ecosystems and bodies. - Steele reframes communion as accountability: eating connects us to past and future life and demands stewardship. Transcript: Jeremy Steele The words change from tradition to tradition, but there's like a welcome, there's a confession of your sins and there's this sacred meal. And in most Christian traditions, the theology around communion is a theology of connection that through consuming this bread and wine or juice or whatever, uh, you are connected Through the Jesus, not just to Jesus, but to every Christian who ever was or ever will be right. That Jesus is this sort of unifying force, but, but the modality is through, uh, food, right? And it's a sense of connection. So as I was like reading, thinking, researching the sort of psychological pieces, I came to this epiphany, um where if food is the is the method um the food actually is inherently connecting Right because we will die our atoms will become dirt and then grass you know plants will grow and some of those plants we will eat and some of the animals we may choose to eat will eat the Plants. Then we will eat those things. Those molecules become part of our bodies. Then we will do all over again. And when you really sort of think deeply about that connection, that connection actually demands accountability, right? That we need to use our molecules to try to make things better for the people that will come after us. And so the ritual does that. ([Time 0:24:08](https://share.snipd.com/snip/e955d785-9759-438b-99d8-71dd9f9b2d57)) - **Adapted Communion Healed A Pagan High Priest Friend** - Steele livestreamed an adapted communion and a pagan high priest friend found it healing after leaving Christianity. - The friend said removing violent Jesus imagery made the meal accessible and restorative. Transcript: Jeremy Steele And one of my friends who actually happens to be a pagan high priest was, he grew up as a, as a Christian. Um, I feel like the, the Christian to pagan high priest pathways probably really well traveled, but anyway, he was on the, he was on a live stream. And like I said, he grew up Christian and he texted me afterwards. And we had this long conversation about how healing that was for him. Right. That was such an important part of his life and his experience of the divine for so many years. But the Jesus stuff, the blood stuff, the violence stuff, all of that, you know, was triggering and made it completely inaccessible to him. But when it was redone in this way, he was like, I needed that. That brought me so much healing from all of that to realize like, oh no, no, no, there is something really important in here that I can still access. ([Time 0:26:25](https://share.snipd.com/snip/85c2d548-ad59-42bd-91a7-f03c38284169)) - **Treat Rituals Like Play Not Solemn Duty** - Approach ritual playfully and experiment rather than treating it as solemn performance. - Steele recommends trying rituals like you try drawing or music: low-stakes, playful, and iterative. Transcript: Jeremy Steele I think, um a barrier for some people is there's a sense that religious ritual has to be done in this very serious way. Dan McClellan Right. Jeremy Steele That you're going to wear robes and there's going to be high ceilings and stained glass or whatever. And i think that uh if you are engaging ritual in that like super serious way what can be kind of weird can get even weirder yeah right um but if you are engaging it like you might engage listening To a piece of music or trying out drawing, right? You know, you try out drawing and it really kind of sucks, but you kind of enjoyed the experience, but you weren't good at it. Approaching it with this sense of like, this is going to be fun. This is kind of, this is different. I don't do this normally. I think that's a huge part of it. ([Time 0:30:30](https://share.snipd.com/snip/ab6e21ef-c4d3-42ae-a036-3526c70dca96)) - **Use Smell And Movement To Shift Stuck Pain** - Try the 'place that holds pain' ritual to move stuck emotions by naming, smelling, and repeating intention at thresholds. - Steele compares its bilateral and sensory elements to EMDR and notes it helps shift memories from emotional to logical processing. Transcript: Jeremy Steele Um, and it's based in a practice called smudging where, and this is in a lot of different religions, but basically you're burning dried sage or something and the smoke is part of it. But the whole ritual psychologically incredibly powerful because the smell is important. The moving is important. The saying of these things out loud is important. And all of that. So basically what you do is you stand at the threshold and you light the smoky thing. And you say something something let me just see i've got it right here why why do i need to why don't i need to make page 27 go to page 27 right this uh this smoke carries away what no longer Belongs here and you don't have to think like oh, it's literally carrying it away, but like, it's a symbol. Yeah. Right. I, I, this is what I want. I want these bad things to get out of here, like the smoke that's going to go out of the window. And then you go to the different places that hold pain and you name the pain in the place. That incredibly powerful. That activates this in a potent way with the smell and the whole experience. Because a lot of times when there's pain, it gets stuck. It gets sort of stored in the emotional side of the brain. And that is a huge part of what therapists work on in PTSD work. So you go through and you do that and you come back to the threshold again. And, um, and then at that point you, you start a different movement with it where, um, where you say, you know, like, um, I'm going to welcome this new stuff in. And then you go back to the places where you just named those things and you name what you want, right? Like let this room hold softness or like, let this kitchen feed joy. And you go around and you do it again, you do it again. Then you end up back at the threshold and you say like, let the new begin. And this can have the same kind of effect that something called EMDR, which is the sort of gold standard for dealing with PTSD in that it can help move, begin to move those memories from This emotional side over to the logical side. It's not a replacement for EMDR. ([Time 0:31:51](https://share.snipd.com/snip/0aae11db-0446-49b0-a04c-a536a3382976)) - **Rituals Work As Everyday Identity Anchors** - Rituals work as external patterning tools that create reminders and identity anchors in daily life. - Steele cites the mezuzah adaptation: a threshold artifact that prompts recentering whenever you enter or leave. Transcript: Jeremy Steele Book, each ritual has a page of like, how are you going to change this? Like I changed it. I like took the God out of it. Like there's a place for you to constantly be like, this was bullshit. I hated this, but this was really cool. I'd like to, right. Um, uh, because I, I hear you, but you know, and the other thing that I think that's really, I'd like your, the aphantasia I'm, I'm learning something new today. I don't mean to throw that at you. Yeah. Dan Beecher You haven't had time to think about that one. No, it does make it does because the latter half of your book is is meditations oh and that's yeah that's and that's right out the window for me like that's for sure yeah well i think another Jeremy Steele Thing that um that religion and ritual does is it creates a pattern of life and reminders for you. Right. And so one of the things is I think about the mezuzah ritual that's in there. So like the, in the Jewish faith, like you put the passages from Deuteronomy and this like fancy thing, you put it on the door and you touch it on your way in and on your way out. And it's this idea of like remembering who you are. And so in the ritual in the book, you sort of write down some things that you want to be and you put it at a threshold. Either you want to put it on the wall, fine. You want to put it on the rug, doesn't matter. But the idea is that whenever you cross that threshold, you pause for a second and try to remember like, wait, like recenter, I want to be this person. These are the things. Um, and it, and, and it's really about a reminder or a pattern and like a physical artifact in your life that helps you, helps remind you, uh, what you want to be like the sticky note on your Dashboard. ([Time 0:37:00](https://share.snipd.com/snip/5d7e45eb-6bae-4d51-9772-2a16d23b1d7e)) - **Dia De Los Muertos Ofrenda Brought Stories Into The Room** - Steele attended a Dia de los Muertos ofrenda where shared food, pictures, and stories pulled personal memories into the room. - He describes the ritual as intensely spiritual without literal supernatural claims. Transcript: Jeremy Steele I can tell you one of the things that really, really the impetus to start doing the work was one of my friends is a Mexican American and they're dual citizen Mexico in the United States. And, and Tio de las Muertos was coming up, I mentioned this they invited me to and a couple of other people to create an ofrenda and we brought you know the picture of our loved one we brought Food that was meaningful to them and um we lit candles and there's all this beautiful imagery with the miracles and the butterflies and all of the like skulls and everything. And, you know, you bring them into the space. And so, like, why do you have Diet Coke with peanuts in it? Right. And you get to tell stories. And I love the way that it like pulls stories into the room. And, and, you know, whenever we, whenever we talk about loved ones that have passed, I don't know, there is a deeply spiritual sensation that I get. Like I am bringing them into the room. Not literally, that's bullshit. But like, I'm sharing that person with another person. And I don't know. And so at the end of that, like it was very intense experience for me. I was like, okay, this, this is a thing. ([Time 0:44:37](https://share.snipd.com/snip/38fa0251-0d43-4880-b8d6-a7372927bab8)) - **Prepare Before Trying Intense Grief Rituals** - Avoid diving into emotionally intense rituals without preparation and professional support. - Steele recommends trigger labels, structured methods, and having a therapist if you expect deep grief or trauma to surface. Transcript: Jeremy Steele Yeah. Um, because it knows, it helps you know what it's about, what you're going to be engaging in, at least at the basic level. So that if you're like, I can't, I can't go there. Right. I'm in a state of grief. I can't think about that. Then you can, you can skip that. Um, uh, but yeah, like, uh, these things are, are, like I said, they're, they're psychologically powerful and, and they can bring up real, real feelings, real experiences. And, um, but I think that in a, in a structured way, right. Where you're not just opening yourself up to do whatever there's like we're gonna go through whatever this is there's a method um though i would say like everybody needs therapists Like if you don't have a therapist what the hell like go get a therapist because um because it's possible that you you through something like this and it brings up stuff that you didn't Realize. ([Time 0:49:10](https://share.snipd.com/snip/67e891da-a768-44fb-a6ca-4bf06a26ff27)) - **Appropriation Is Valid But Rituals Are Shared Human Tools** - Cultural appropriation is a valid concern but some practitioners view ritual techniques as shared human knowledge. - Steele consulted religious people who largely supported making practices accessible while acknowledging risk and the need for sensitivity. Transcript: Jeremy Steele Yeah, that's fair. And I, you know, as I was getting started with this, I had a couple of conversations with people of different religious traditions, asking them like this question about appropriation, Because I am a liberal snowflake. I don't want to be appropriating other cultures. And, and, and what I, the response that they gave me, and of course they're also liberal snowflake Jewish people or whatever, like we're, we're all in the same, same tribe as far as that's Concerned is, well, one of them said, it feels to me like what you were trying to do is give access to this truth that we have worked on for all these years to everybody. And I think that we would, I would be happy if somebody tried this thing in a way that made it accessible to them. And then another person, they were like, nothing that we do is actually unique. They said, this is human knowledge, right? Like smudging, it's first nations, it's hoodoo, it's voodoo. You talk about a sacred meal, communion in Christianity, but that the sacred meal is everywhere. Ancestor veneration, there's not one group of people that gets to claim ancestor veneration, right? And so that person was like, I think what you're doing is you are, are taking a meta view and, and trying to, to take all of this practice and make it accessible. He's like, I wouldn't feel like you were appropriating my, my faith. Um, uh, so yeah, I, but at the same time, uh, it's a valid, it's a valid pushback. And I, I own that. And for me, it's, it was worth taking that risk in order to give access to this human knowledge to people who, who, um, who, who would have lost it. ([Time 0:56:00](https://share.snipd.com/snip/047ab45c-3e3d-45eb-8df6-cb2ff1df4f58))