How to Make Hard Choices as a Leader  ## Metadata - Author: [[Modern Mentor]] - Full Title: How to Make Hard Choices as a Leader - Category: #podcasts - URL: https://share.snipd.com/episode/034288d8-64ae-41cd-ad90-b19878bad139 ## Document Notes ## Highlights - **Decision To Stay And Start A Business** - Rachel Cooke describes wrestling with a tempting job offer that required moving her family across the country. - She watched Ruth Chang's TED Talk and decided to stay, then started her own business instead. Transcript: Rachel Cooke So about 10 years ago, I decided it was time to leave the full-time job I was in. I didn't know what I wanted to do next, but I knew that I needed out. So I started interviewing and I ended up with this really tempting offer at a brand name company. It was a great opportunity. It looked perfect on paper, you know, but it would have required me moving my family across the country. Granted to the place where my husband is from and where all his family lives. So it was a real possibility. One I thought we needed to consider. And so we did the thing you do. We made the lists, the pros and the cons. We analyzed things to death, trying desperately to figure it out. Do we stay or do we go? But as hard as we listed and analyzed, the stubborn right answer refused to show itself. Now we all have our go-to things we do when we hit walls. Some people stress eat or phone a friend or take a hot bath. Me, I watch TED Talks. I swear between TED Talks and the entire catalog of the Golden Girls episodes, like all the ones ever made, all of life's most profound questions can be answered. Anyway, I stumbled on this TED Talk by a philosopher named Ruth Chang, and it was all about making hard choices. And she said something that totally shifted me. She said that the very definition of a hard choice is that there is no right answer. There's only imperfect information and trade-offs. And our job isn't to figure out what the right decision is, but to make the best choice that we can, the one that aligns with who we are, and then to commit to it. It's simple, but it changed everything. We decided to stay. We committed fully, and I even started my own business right here. ([Time 0:01:34](https://share.snipd.com/snip/20374a92-f16e-4002-8c8a-834c179b7e4d)) - **Hard Choices Have No Right Answer** - Ruth Chang's core idea: a hard choice means there is no objectively right answer. - The task is to pick the option that aligns with who you are and then commit to it. Transcript: Rachel Cooke Anyway, I stumbled on this TED Talk by a philosopher named Ruth Chang, and it was all about making hard choices. And she said something that totally shifted me. She said that the very definition of a hard choice is that there is no right answer. There's only imperfect information and trade-offs. ([Time 0:02:41](https://share.snipd.com/snip/90eb2aca-e2d4-492b-a13b-9621eaf19abd)) - **Choose Progress Over Perfect Data** - Stop waiting for perfect data; an imperfect, well-thought decision beats no decision. - Accept that hard choices lack objective answers so you can actually make progress. Transcript: Rachel Cooke So when I work with teams on this, which I am doing a fair amount these days, here's how we move forward. First, we start with a reckoning. I will often kick things off with a round of would you rather. You know, that ridiculous kids game where you pick between two terrible options. Would you rather fight one horse-sized duck or a hundred duck-sized horses? Would you rather give up cheese or chocolate forever? It's goofy, and the answers are always terrible, but it warms up our decision-making muscles. It gets people comfortable looking at imperfect options, weighing trade-offs, and picking one. Because we have to start by accepting this truth. Waiting for the right answer to show up is going to keep us waiting forever. Hard choices are hard because there is no objectively right answer. ([Time 0:03:48](https://share.snipd.com/snip/e14212ca-5450-40a6-8b9f-a44d8f9136ea)) - **Warm Up With Low-Stakes Choices** - Warm up decision-making by weighing imperfect options in low-stakes ways like 'would you rather' games. - Use these exercises to get comfortable choosing among trade-offs and commit faster. Transcript: Rachel Cooke First, we start with a reckoning. I will often kick things off with a round of would you rather. You know, that ridiculous kids game where you pick between two terrible options. Would you rather fight one horse-sized duck or a hundred duck-sized horses? Would you rather give up cheese or chocolate forever? It's goofy, and the answers are always terrible, but it warms up our decision-making muscles. It gets people comfortable looking at imperfect options, weighing trade-offs, and picking one. Because we have to start by accepting this truth. Waiting for the right answer to show up is going to keep us waiting forever. ([Time 0:03:56](https://share.snipd.com/snip/b07d07ca-6dde-46c3-8adf-3613439978e5)) - **Align On A Clear North Star** - Define your team's North Star first so choices are judged by what you collectively aim to achieve. - Then list options, map trade-offs, and ask which risks you can live with. Transcript: Rachel Cooke Choose your North Star. Ruth Chang makes this point that a hard choice has no right answer, whether the stakes are high or low. Like which candy is better, chocolate M&Ms or fruity Skittles? The stakes are zero, but it's still a hard choice because there's no right answer. Except if you're someone who prefers chocolate to fruity, then for you, M&Ms are probably the better choice. At work, this means that before we start making decisions, we need to ask ourselves, in service of what? Are we optimizing right now for revenue growth or for efficiency, for innovation or stability, for customer acquisition or customer retention? You would be amazed by how many teams I work with where that level of alignment isn't there. Like half the team thinks it's about innovation and the other half stability. So of course they're struggling to line on their choices. But once we get aligned, we can make smart choices together. And now it's not which option is better, but which option better serves the thing we agree we're trying to do. Next, we look at options and trade-offs. A pro and con list won't give you the right answer, but it will help you see what you're gaining and losing with each option. So put it all on the table. What do we win with option A and what do we lose? What about with option B? And then ask, what can we live with? What risks can we manage or contain? What feels aligned with our North Star? ([Time 0:05:57](https://share.snipd.com/snip/0ea9c7c1-4d8d-42c7-8c9e-3f08fef8f94f)) - **Pick The Better Option And Commit** - After choosing, commit fully and plan to make that choice succeed through resourcing and communication. - Lean into wins and losses, train the team, and resource the work to make your choice right. Transcript: Rachel Cooke And then we choose and commit. This is where you look at what you win and what you lose and you pick not the right answer, but the better answer, the one that serves your North star that you can fully commit to. Because once you decide the work changes, it's not about making the right choice, but it's about making your choice right. So you lean into what you're winning and what you're losing, and then you plan for it. Maybe your team will need some training to adapt. Maybe customers will need some heads up that things will be uncertain for a little bit, but clarity is coming. Maybe it's going to be a little harder before it gets easier, but you plan for it. You resource it, and you commit to it. You ask, what are all the things we can do to make this the right choice for us? ([Time 0:07:29](https://share.snipd.com/snip/c73d0550-7ff2-4400-b38a-3d5135568b46)) - **Cost Of Not Deciding** - Not deciding is a leadership failure that costs momentum, resources, and trust. - Hard choices succeed or fail more on commitment than on which option was chosen. Transcript: Rachel Cooke Look, making hard choices is uncomfortable, especially when the stakes are high and you don't have all the information you wish you had. But waiting for certainty isn't leadership, it's avoidance. And the cost of not deciding is real. Your team is in limbo, you're burning resources, you're losing momentum. And trust erodes because people start wondering if anyone's actually in charge. So if you're stuck on a hard choice right now, here's what I want you to try. Get clear on your North Star. Look at the trade-offs. Pick the better option, not the perfect one. And then commit to making it work. Because most hard choices don't succeed or fail based on what you chose. They succeed or fail based on how committed you are to making them work. ([Time 0:08:15](https://share.snipd.com/snip/12bce350-a13b-4aee-a071-25d04f0e92b4))