Understanding This Will Change How You Experience Your Entire Life  ## Metadata - Author: [[The Mel Robbins Podcast]] - Full Title: Understanding This Will Change How You Experience Your Entire Life - Category: #podcasts - URL: https://share.snipd.com/episode/a20e0e51-961a-4319-9383-d973f8ff8f78 ## Document Notes ## Highlights - **Core Elements of Spirituality** - Spirituality comprises three elements: sensing a deeper life, knowing it's real, and choosing to live in dialogue with it daily. - This offers a path to resilience, clarity, purpose, and a deep connection beyond ourselves. Transcript: lisa miller Three pieces. One is that we are built to see into the deeper, profound nature of life. The second is that the deeper nature of life is real, alive, and guiding. And the third is that when you put the two together, every single day we have the opportunity to choose to live in dialogue with the deeper force of life. Every one of us. Mel Robbins So spirituality is three things. I just want to make sure I get this. Number one, that there is a deeper nature of life and the experience of living it that is available to you. And you are physically wired to be able to tap into it. That's number one. Number two, you're physically wired to tap into the deeper nature of life. Number two, it is real. It is not a belief. It is something deeper that you know and feel. lisa miller Is that true? And alive and working. And alive and working. Even if you ignore it, it's alive and working. But point three is if you are in dialogue, your life unfolds entirely differently. Mel Robbins What does in dialogue with the deeper forces of life mean? lisa miller Every moment of my waking life, I'm not ([Time 0:16:21](https://share.snipd.com/snip/cc8fff69-6641-4b5c-8761-95b67c06360c)) - **One Universal Spiritual Brain** - The spiritual brain is universal, activated during spiritual moments regardless of religion or culture. - Spiritual experiences engage identical neural circuits, demonstrating our shared spiritual wiring. Transcript: Mel Robbins Can you tell us like what you actually saw when you look at brain scans and somebody's having a spiritual experience? lisa miller Mel, just like there's one visual system and there's one auditory system, there's one spiritual perception system. And you actually see it in the brain. We see it in fMRI studies, live action in the brain. It doesn't matter whether our participant is Catholic or Hindu or Jewish or spiritual and not religious, the same neural correlates run. There is one spiritual brain and every human being on earth is endowed with the same spiritual brain. Now, of course, we can strengthen the spiritual brain. There's human variability, just as there's human variability for music or math. But the foundational components of the spiritual brain are identical in 10 billion people on earth. Everyone has the same spiritual brain. So first note, religious war is obsolete. You're fighting about nothing because there's one seat of human spiritual perception and you all have it and it's identical. Mel Robbins The only difference is the words that you say and the beliefs that you have, which you were taught versus the innate wiring, which activates during a spiritual experience, which is Those moments when you are in dialogue and connected to the deeper forces of life. lisa miller In our MRI study, whether someone said I was praying in the pews of my childhood church when I felt God's presence, or if they said I was walking in Glacier National Park and I saw light On the ice and I knew there was something more, the identical neurocorrelates run. Spiritual but not religious, deeply religious. The same spiritual brain allows us to feel the transcendent relationship. There is in and through us the deeper, loving, transcendent relationship. Mel Robbins If an awakened brain means ([Time 0:33:53](https://share.snipd.com/snip/b73fcc3b-e0e3-4fa2-b697-9963c6bf8038)) - **Innate and Cultivated Spirituality** - Every person is born wired with circuits for spiritual awakening. - Spiritual life is one-third innate, two-thirds cultivated through practice and environment. Transcript: Mel Robbins Nah, prepared and ready to go. lisa miller You were born with the circuits to awaken. You were born with everything you need to awaken your brain. But this is a choice because while the wiring is in every single one of us, lived spiritual life is one third innate, two thirds cultivated and built. We've got to do our job. Mel Robbins Got it. Okay. So what you're saying here, and you write about this in your bestselling book, The Awakened Brain. I'm on page 58. I want to read this ([Time 0:36:07](https://share.snipd.com/snip/6e6e5a23-5bfb-4969-b262-bdf0e21bcf22)) - **Spirituality as Perception, Not Belief** - Spirituality is a seat of perception, not mere belief, sensing guidance and presence deeply. - The brain receives spiritual truth like an antenna instead of creating it internally. Transcript: Mel Robbins Can you explain what that means? lisa miller Your spirituality inside of you is a seat of perception. It is your ability to feel and know the presence of guidance in your life, to see synchronicities. It's your ability to feel and know the profundity. Why did this person show up in my life of all times now? It's your gift to be able to sense that even when everything falls apart, you are not going to, and you're actually buoyant. It's your sense that no matter how much I mess up and the things I'm ashamed of that I've done, there's something deep and alive and eternal, the flame that's worthy. Your soul is worthy. And your understanding of this doesn't need to be intellectual. In fact, through the lens of science, spirituality is not a belief. It is a deep seat of perception. Science shows us that we are built and wired to see and know the deep reality of life. It is a feeling of being loved. It is the sense of being buoyant. And it is not just a nice feeling like happiness. It is a perception of the truth of the way the world is really built. Spirituality is the relationship between one, your ability to see and know the deep sacred current in life. Two, that this current is real. And three, that every single day you have the opportunity have a relationship, to ride with the current of life and see where the river is taking you. The brain is not a factory that makes spiritual thoughts. The brain is an antenna that receives spiritual truth. Mel Robbins Okay. I need to expand on this because you wrote ([Time 0:49:57](https://share.snipd.com/snip/a7e589e6-6f1d-44c2-b3d4-b2d3e7d7142c)) - **Embrace Life’s Yellow Doors** - When plans fail, pivot toward new unexpected opportunities, the "wide open yellow door". - Be open to guidance from "trail angels" and trust life’s deeper currents directing your path. Transcript: lisa miller May we do another practice? Sure. Okay. This is called the road of life. The road of life. The road of life. Okay. And it's in the awakened brain. Okay. I invite you to take five breaths again and clear out your inner space. I invite you to think of a time where you wanted something so badly. That job, him or her or them to say yes, you wanted that school. You wanted it for yourself. You wanted it for your family. You wanted that red door. So you did everything right. You researched it. You planned. You tactically were on the ball. You go for your red door and it's stuck. And you can't believe it's stuck because A plus B plus C, you had done everything right. But the red door is stuck. You might kick it. You might shake it. No red door. No red door for you. And only because that red door is stuck, you have no choice. You turn 50, 80, 110 degrees over there. Over there is a wide open yellow door. A wide open yellow door. You didn't know yellow doors existed. Hadn't heard of them. On the other side of the yellow door, is someone more right for you? Is a job that makes you feel alive? Is a mentor at a school that sees you in a way that you didn't even know you were capable of? That yellow door was not what you had wanted. It was better and better for you. Crossed the yellow door to a whole new golden landscape. And as you sit back now, take a breath and think of that stuck red door and the hairpin turn that took you to the wide open yellow door. Was there anyone at that hairpin turn? It could have been someone you met for two minutes at a coffee shop. It could have been a grandparent who confided in you a story that she'd never told before. There was a trail angel, someone at the hairpin turn pointing you to the wide open yellow door, giving you information. The trail angel at the hairpin turn. And as you sit now, finally way back, stuck red door, hairpin turn, trail angel, and wide open yellow door, the yellow door that has so much to do with who you are and where you are today. How really are the most important parts of our lives formed? Yes, we have to plan and yes, we have to do our part, but do we really have radical control? Or are we more deeply in dialogue with a force that guides us in us, through us, that closes red doors and opens yellow doors and puts trail angels in our path? What do you call this deeper force in us, through us, and among us? And your ability to be an open system and listen, listen with an open heart and full eyes to the force of life. ([Time 0:58:18](https://share.snipd.com/snip/350614d9-017d-48f7-a649-da9d577b7170)) - **Spiritual Guidance in Adoption Journey** - After years of failed attempts to conceive, synchronicities led Dr. Miller to adopt her son from Russia. - A healing ceremony and collective prayers coincided with finding their child, showcasing spiritual guidance. Transcript: lisa miller I share in the awakened brain that I wanted dearly and deeply for five years to start a family. So sure enough, my husband and I went to all the best doctors up and down the East Coast, the one who invented in vitro the highest rates of conception and still no children. And in this path, I got the picture after about 11 failed in vitros and plenty of little pokes and prods and disappointments. Every failed vitro felt like a hideous funeral. Oh, you're not pregnant. That felt like going to the funeral of the baby that wasn't born, the tiny little dead cell, right? So it was a very painful journey. And in this journey of struggling to conceive, I started receiving guidance. I received guidance from trail angels, some of whom were people, you know, a guy on the bus came up to me and he said, you know, lady, and I was pretty depressed this day. You look like just that kind of lady that would go all around the world adopting kids. Well, maybe we should. Another synchronicity. My mother calls out of the blue. She said, I just want you to know our neighbor adopted the most adorable little boy, little John Joseph. Just wanted you to know. Oh, and he's from Russia. Click, which is where we found our son. The synchronicities that guided us to our beautiful boy, Isaiah, on the other side of the world. The most profound of which was at one point, I have a big cousin, Mel, my big cousin, Big Jane. I'm Lisa Jane. She's Big Jane. And she called me and said, you know, Ms. Columbia professor, you think you're so smart, but you're missing the point. You want to understand spirituality, you need to come out here to a healing ceremony. And together with the Lakota and Big Jane, I joined a group of women who were all praying for healing. And on that day, Mel, in that Inipi in South Dakota, every woman had come to pray for a son. One woman said, my son, he's not coming home. He's been using drugs. One woman said, my son, he's starting to leave his wife and kids. I'm worried for the family. Every woman was worried about a son until we got to Big Jane, who said, I'm here with my cousin, Little Jane. Little Jane has come looking for her child. I'm wondering if we could help her. And for the first time, I felt confidence in this journey to find a child. Every woman nodded. Sitting in an Inipia in South Dakota, knowing that there were people scouting for our child in Eastern Europe and Russia. What did the two have to do with each other? What did those two seemingly distant physical events have to do with each other? We said a prayer led by the medicine man's wife. The prayer went up through the top of the Inipi, a collective prayer. And Mel, that night, after five years of weeping and pain and tears, that night, our son was found in Russia. Just as we are loved and held and guided, when we show up for others and are loving, holding, and guiding, we've fulfilled who we really are as spiritual beings. And it doesn't work just through a ping pong match. It doesn't work always materially or mechanistically or things that we physically do. It all often passes through source. ([Time 1:02:35](https://share.snipd.com/snip/885c726d-2fa0-410b-9095-4f6d48f82ca8)) - **Support Children's Spiritual Journey** - Parents should be transparent about their spiritual lives to empower their children’s own spiritual journeys. - Spirituality can thread through all moments, offering comfort beyond traditional religious practices. Transcript: lisa miller And support? How do we support our children spiritually? There's four things we can do as parents. The first is be transparent about your own spiritual life. So meditate in a visible place and say, do you want to sit by my side? Read poetry in nature, two roads diverged in a yellow wood as we're hiking at a fork. Say a prayer out loud. When you do that, it says something tremendously important, life-changing to your children. We talk about the spiritual reality. It has a language and a way in. It is real. The spiritual reality is real. And our relationship in our home, in our family, goes to the bedrock depth of the spiritual reality. That's a whole different family. Mel Robbins What's interesting is I've always felt really guilty because we did not bring up our kids in a traditional faith religious practice. And so I've always felt like, okay, my kids missed out on something. They don't have a foundation for belief. But as you were going through those four things, I was like, check, check, check, check. Fantastic. I mean, I don't, I mean, I guess I have to take a step back and say, I hope it's fantastic. And what I'm getting from your work is that my spiritual journey is my spiritual journey. And my children's spiritual journey is their spiritual journey. lisa miller Oh, yes. I'm not looking to reproduce myself. I'm not looking for three little Lisas. ([Time 1:08:10](https://share.snipd.com/snip/310a0f5b-be94-473e-b536-8a469c5e9427)) - **Spirituality Counters Mental Health Crisis** - Decline in personal spirituality parallels worsening mental health globally. - Spirituality is shown scientifically as an antidote to despair, depression, and addiction. Transcript: lisa miller The antidote to the mass mental health crisis is spirituality. Mel, when we look at the statistics with the sharp decline in mental health, there has been concomitant decline in personal spirituality. The two go hand in hand statistically. Why has this happened? Well, I think many people in struggling with their family faith tradition have thrown the spiritual baby out with the bathwater. They have lost sight of their deep spiritual bearings. Mel Robbins Let me ask you about depression and mental health issues and the ([Time 1:15:34](https://share.snipd.com/snip/281249e6-bc0a-4f23-a0ff-078218f6afe8)) - **Spiritual Life Strengthens Brain Health** - Thickened brain regions in spiritually active people protect against depression. - Ignoring spirituality associates with thinner brain regions common in recurrent depression cases. Transcript: Mel Robbins Of a person's craving for spirituality and a call for the spiritual self to awaken. Dr. Lisa, can you talk about the research and the science that explains the connection between spirituality and depression in particular? lisa miller Mel, when we do MRI studies of the brain, we see a thick cortex across the regions of the awakened brain and people who day in and day out sustain their spiritual life. It could be walks in nature. It could be meditation or prayer. It could have been right action, service. Whatever their MO, their spiritual MO, people who live and breathe every day a dialogue with the deeper nature of life, have a thicker, stronger brain across the regions of the awakened Brain. Mel Robbins So you have a healthier brain when you are living a spiritual life? You have a much healthier brain. lisa miller And in fact, the regions that become thick and strong through sustained spiritual life are the very same regions that are not thick and strong, but thin in people with recurrent major Depression. What does that mean? I don't even understand what that means. So that means that we all have a brain that's very sensitive to how we live. And if we live a spiritual life, it gets thick and strong and we see deeper dimensions and yellow doors. But if we ignore this opportunity that we've been given to see life through spiritual eyes, the brain itself is weaker, thinner, and less likely to perceive huge ([Time 1:16:38](https://share.snipd.com/snip/b4498cb4-c4b8-4d52-9012-2f7f1e6d2ef3)) - **Depression as Spiritual Hunger** - Two-thirds of depression reflects spiritual hunger, a yearning for deeper meaning and connection. - Spiritual awakening offers a path through despair via connection to life’s deeper currents. Transcript: Mel Robbins What does that mean? lisa miller When we recover from despair through spiritual awakening, our brain tends to give off a very specific wavelength. You can measure it? We measure it with an EEG cap and it is called high amplitude alpha. High amplitude alpha. Now, Mel, we talked about how two thirds of depressions are actually spiritual hunger for more, for meaning. So two-thirds of depression are spiritual hunger. Two-thirds of depressions are spiritual hunger. The yearning for more, the existential empty bucket, the sense that there's somehow I'm not enough actually is the not-enoughness of how I'm being in the world, what I'm feeling in The world. It's not that I'm not big enough or rich enough or doing it enough. The not enoughness is a sense that there's a deeper, fuller way of being and connecting to the force of life. It could be that we are built to move through phases of despair so that we can deepen our spiritual awareness and connect more profoundly to the nature of life. Mel Robbins And that the spiritual awareness is there to help us move through those stages of life where life is hard. Yes. We are built for tragedy and despair because ([Time 1:19:48](https://share.snipd.com/snip/29b7f211-db6d-4cfa-9f9d-5b2c04843353)) - **Begin With Curiosity and Love** - If curious about spirituality, pursue that curiosity—it may be the force moving through you. - Knowing you are loved is the gateway to connecting with sacred reality. Transcript: Mel Robbins But if somebody is listening and they're like, I want to feel exactly, but I don't even know what she's talking, like, how would you start? I guess you already have if you've listened to this this far. Yes, because curiosity is the force talking through you. lisa miller If you're curious, if you're hungry, if you wonder, if you don't want to just kick it aside because you sense you might have short circuited something in your own life, then that may just Be the force moving through you. I invite your curiosity. Science does not say that the people who have all the answers are healthier and less depressed. Science says that the people on a spiritual quest are happier, less depressed, healthier, and have more deep running, committed relationships, more purpose and meaning in their Life. We don't need to have the answers, but we are built. In fact, it's a human imperative to be seekers and on a spiritual journey. Mel Robbins If the person listening takes just one action out of everything that you have poured into us, proven, taught, and awakened in us. What is the most important thing for them to do? Know that your deep inner experience of love is the double door to the sacred reality. Dr. Lisa Miller, what are your parting words? lisa miller You are on a spiritual journey. My hope for you is not that you get what you ([Time 1:22:30](https://share.snipd.com/snip/b0bdd567-37b4-4bac-867c-702295173a60))